Jizz in your eyes, raining out of your arse or just feeling boggin? Come and join the JSers for fun and frolics! And some of them drooling over Ian McShane, whoever he may be! It's Just Shagging 29!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 28 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2179455-Break-the-bed-marvel-at-the-ghost-sperm-ignore-the-fuss-about-avatar-pandas-and-whatever-you-do-dont-eat-the-jizz-Its-Just-Shagging-Part-28?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?pg=31" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I was thinking about using same colours to underline as another colour. but your right I could just underline with pens. I can only highlight underline and sideline. its really hard to know what to highlight let alone how to go about it! think I'll go find a red and green Biro!

I have an aversion to highlighted, prefer those sticky label things that poke out of the side of pages. Make me feel professional .

Mr tink is fine, I've given him jobs. He can't come near me - I resemble a furby. We've negotiated a hand job later

tink I wish...not allowed to write anything more than my name on the books and no post its! my aca finals were much less strict. I had a whole folder of my own notes I could take in for that, with sticky tabs! I now need more pen colours!

glad you renegotiated! lol at furby!

You should tell him you don't negotiate with terrorist ;)

Boring day for me. Still no AF and still no BFP!

Jelly poamfs!

lil loving highlighter OCD. I have divider OCD. And poly pocket OCD - don't like them wrinkled. I would layer the highlights. Dividers have to be new.

tink give in to the awesome penis - you should be expelled from Fred for resisting shagging! ;)

Lunch with friend was lovely. Had lots of hugs and she was fab. Just what I needed.

I have a habit if leaving incriminating evidence. Left my pre-conception pills out one day when friend was cat feeding. But just checked and preseed was well hidden.

I got a honeymoon for wedding present. Now I wish id asked for hot tub.

I'm going to demand a hot tub for my wedding pressie lol

Had another mouse incident this morning. Trapping method: upturned bin and baking tray. Release site: golf course.
Wildlife types - any advice on humane traps? Not sure we can continue improvising like this!

You can buy humane traps in pets at home :)

I'm sorry, I'd be putting the poison down everywhere! forget humane!

Glad you had a lovely lunch out La. I've just come back from one too, found out that one of my best and longest-standing friends is 13 weeks pg.

Crossing everything and praying that this bean sticks too, so we can go through it together.

Lovely times. Now got to go home and see sis-in-law who is as pg as I would have been if previous bean had stuck.

I'm in a funny mood with all this going on. Bonus though, at least I've avoided the fleas today.

bother humane traps can work as short term fix but we generally advise against them long term because inevitably folk forget to check them and the animal starves to death. Poison is horrific - causes extreme pain and suffering. Don't recommend it. Pest control companies use it coz it's cheap, easy to use and animal goes off to die somewhere else. It carries risk if secondary poisoning to any animal that might scavenge on the carcass (massive issue in decline of barn owl populations in uk).

Most humane killing method is break-back trap as it kills animal instantly, as long as it's an effective make/model. Some are too weak and animal not killed outright. Once wild animal is under control of man it becomes legally their responsibility under animal welfare act so any killing then must be humane.

Best method if you want to keep animal alive is humane trap but you must check trap twice daily and release animals not far from the location, otherwise animal may struggle for food/territory. Also would recommend blocking holes and removing whatever is attracting them ie store food in tubs and tins, sweep up any crumbs. When they find no food they will move on.

Hope that helps :)

before glad you've had a nice day

PS I am a wildlife bore. This is official.

before i think you've hit on what most upsets me. My best friend is preg and i was only 4 weeks behind. I was so excited to go through it with her. She's now going to be at least 16 weeks and its sad that we'll be so far apart. I guess i grieve for the experiences we aren't sharing any more.

This is the first failure month for me. Strange feeling. What did people to do prevent that overriding "you're a failure" feeling?

(16 weeks by the time i could possibly get a bfp)

you can't fail at something that is beyond your control honey

honey It is tough getting af when others get bfp, particularly when it's month after month and you're getting nowhere. You watch folk leave for grads thread and you're still here. Tough also when you did get bfp and sadly your bean didn't make it. It isn't ever easy but you do kind of get used to it after a while. Fx that you get yours soon x

I second lils point - it's not failure, you can't control it x

I've had one friend get pregnant, have the twins then get pregnant again in the time I've been trying. I just have to accept we are individuals and it's no ones fault

exactly la everyone's story is different. I know I'm going to crumble when we hit that God awful 2year mark on 9th November

Thank you ladies for your words of wisdom. Glad i know you!

I've told this story before very briefly but it may help you lovely viroids.
Me and exdp were trying for 5 years to get upduffed. It was hard but got harder as friends fell pg very quickly.
Anyway we got referred to the infertility clinic and I had a laparoscopy to check the situation. My consultant told me there was no chance for us except for ivf.
One month later I was pregnant no idea how it happened.

I just wanted to let you all know that when everything seems hopeless little miracles can and do happen.

I know it's easy for me to say, but honestly just keep shagging!

Oh yeah and my 3 year old DD is testement to that. Never thought I would ever get her.

gaggia can I ask why they suggested ivf? what were your issues?

lil neither of my fallopian tubes were tube-y. They were blocked and squashed. The lap dye only went thru a tiny amount on my right side so it was concluded my best hope was ivf. The consultant was amazed when he saw me in the midwives waiting room. Lovely man.