Jizz in your eyes, raining out of your arse or just feeling boggin? Come and join the JSers for fun and frolics! And some of them drooling over Ian McShane, whoever he may be! It's Just Shagging 29!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 28 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2179455-Break-the-bed-marvel-at-the-ghost-sperm-ignore-the-fuss-about-avatar-pandas-and-whatever-you-do-dont-eat-the-jizz-Its-Just-Shagging-Part-28?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?pg=31" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I think we should all have hot tubs. Funded by the government in lieu of the benefits I've never claimed

The witch is properly here now. What a cow. Gosh, and to think, all this time we could have had unprotected sex and been absolutely fine! Why bother with condoms eh?

Yes, free hot tubs all round! DH wants to change the water in ours. Yikes. That's the most expensive part!

I can't believe you have a hot tub. I WANT A HOT TUB, WAAAH!!!!!

[stomps feet]

Sorry to hear witch came :(

My bleeding is finally done so I guess I just get back to normal now and wait to see when I ice

chat frer?

Morning viroids! Just checking in! I had a night out to get though last night with my comedy boobs and all.

In sad news, my size small disco pants no longer fit... LA, pm me!

Drunk people are HARD WORK when you're on the soft stuff! My cover was 'sober for October' but as j was giving a few girls a lift home one said 'so are you going to make us wait before you tell us you're pregnant?'

I hate when people ask, as I feel I can't lie. She was pissed though, I doubt she'll remember the convo!

I quite want some sad fleas, they sound sweet. I have a five year old for the day and it is persisting down! I could fashion a flea circus or somesuch with him if I had some sad fleas. Might resort to robot legs kitties instead!

Be positive la, why didn't you think of that?! That must make you feel much better! Dick. Remember that next time she moans - see how positive she feels! End of bleeding doesn't have to mean straight back to TTC, it's completely up to you. I found first time after MC a bit weird. Hopefully you won't!

On my way to meet newly pregnant friend. It's great but know it will be awkward. That awkward where she doesn't know what to say to not upset me and I don't want to talk about my shitty time and upset her. Best stick to eastenders chat!

Speaking if chat, when will you test?!

kato can you plea boob job?! Doubt those disco pants would fit me after the last week of chocolate eating.

dulcet snap! Im going to lunch with my friend who's 7 months pregnant after ttc for 2 weeks. But she's coming all the way here to see me to give me support which is lovely of her.

Haha Kato drunk people are SO hard work... I was at a wedding last weekend. We were the drunk obnoxious table that everyone else hates... unfortunately they were all too drunk to realise, it was just me sitting and feeling awkward and apologetic!

Enjoy your lunches ladies. Hope it's not too awkward x

morning viroids. feeling miserable and unmotivated today. not a good start when I need to study!

jealous of your hot tub honey I want to get one when we move house. can't really justify it here when we aren't planning to stay more than a year or two.

lil sorry you feel like that. Can recommend an hour on tinterweb choosing an imaginary hot tub. Have whiled away most of my morning fantasizing about that, also went on rightmove and chose a house to put it in! Am going to do some housework then choose an imaginary holiday. 5 year old not arriving until 5pm and staying til tomorrow afternoon so the cats have had a reprieve for now at least

Imaginary house and hot tub shopping rocks!

Sorry lil would an Ian mcshane pic help?

might do some imaginary housework...

I'm trapped in the house until the plasterers finish plastering.... yaaawn. Imaginary house work sounds good

Even the dog's asleep!

la I still have no idea who Ian mcshane is! lol

I might do some imaginary studying and multi task by knitting at the same time!

why do they have to make tax exams so wordy! I like numbers goddammit!

also feel guilty as dh is painting our rental whilst I'm doing said imaginary studying! oops!

I've left my landlord fixing my house while I'm going for lunch. Hope they don't peak in bedroom and see my preseed on the bedside table. Awkward.

lmao la very awkward.

ugh should have stuck to study and stayed off fb. its riddled with babies today!

We are very lucky, we know. It was a wedding present from the in laws. They said we needed one because dh always had one growing up. Not going to argue with that!

Gah, my stomach hurts more than my uterus! It was dodgy anyway, and now I'm taking the strong stuff it is protesting. Going to placate it by eating me weight in toast. (Dh and I both bought bread yesterday. Tooooooooast!)

I love fantasy house shopping. Round here its a real problem. If we want to upgrade we either go for massive new build with itty bitty garden, or 1920s old with huge garden and one loo, downstairs. We'll be in this one for a while I think!

We bought 1970's monstrosity that nooone else wanted and ripped it apart, the back is now all made of glass which in theory is amazing but in practice is very smeary and not conducive to those spontaneous romantic filthy moments that normal healthy couples should enjoy. DH is chasing me round today asking if he can "slip me one" before the visitors arrive. He has even suggested hiding under a blanket. I am pretending he is not here.

Didn't you do that once before La haha??

Aw Tink, let him slip you one, meanie

viroids. deadly serious, I need your help. I only have six highlighter colours - pink, blue, green, yellow, orange and purple - can anyone think of any other colour highlighter they've seen....not red though, the pages are thinner than filo so can't be too dark. I need about 3 more!

Story time: One housemate (1), who shopped in Ann summers had previously asked another (2) to look after some of her purchases so her parents could visit without the trauma of seeing dds 'hobby' so easily.

This was all agreed and housemate two hid them in a little table and put a fancy dress hat on top. HM 1s parents visited, no illusions were shattered, all was well. Weeks later we had a gas leak and the landlord sent some men round to pull up the floorboards and find it.

HM 2 came back from lectures that day to find they'd had to go in her room and happened to move the small table, dislodging the hat and revealing the toys still present. Hilariously, she of course protested "omg! They're not none, I swear!" Gas men didn't believe her and she never lived it down.

Moral of story. Hats don't his things forever. Put your toys away when strangers are coming. Especially if they aren't yours.

And Tink, don't be a meanie to poor Mr Tink!

Lil can you different shades of same colour? Or use fine liners to underline?