40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

Short cycles that should have read, my period is about 2-5 days.

Fucking hell I think my finger is drunk!!! 3-5 days even!!

Hi ladies! 46 with dc 16, 14 and 13. Met a guy and fell in love and we're on our 6th month ttc. He's 41. I'm not taking any supplements or anything and in my heart of hearts I kind of think my eggs are well past their sell by date but there's a tiny bit of hope.

Currently 5dpo (I think), aches and pains and twinges but I think they're in my head rather than anything happening!

Lots of lovely chat on here! I'll have to resurrect the Friday night bistro at this rate and get an extra waiter in
Kiwi yes the harmony may indeed be an option for you if you want to avoid the risks associated with an invasive test like the amnio. As you may know I had the harmony test done at the FMC and can't rate the place highly enough. You can have it done from 10 weeks, but up to the day you give birth, so no upper limit. The sting is that the free trial I had (ok, not free, but just the cost of the nuchal to pay) has now finished so I think you're looking at about £400 including scans. The FMC website would have details.
On the agnus castus front, it really helped increase my luteal phase from 9 days to 13 (at best). Effects notable after 2 mths of trying. I also added vit B6 into the mix, in addition to other B vits but had only taken the Bs for a month and then got pregnant (so unlikely to have had an effect so quickly).
I think it would be worth a try if LP is on the short side?
Gum have a wonderful holiday - relax, get tipsy, and get your sugar fix .
Love to all xxx

Thanks Deige, I plan to have a lovely holiday,but I am staying away from the dreaded sugar. Honestly, I think I may be an addict so I can't just have a little bit - I will end up eating everything in sight!

I feel much better off sugar: calmer, generally healthier. I am hoping it will help with other issues like my skin: I have a lot of redness on my cheeks, and I really don't like it, I believe sugar makes it worse. We shall see. But I think I can do a holiday well without it: there will be lovely cheeses, pate, dips, crisps etc to keep me happy!

Welcome Stupidhead, I don't think 46 is too old (I am 47, almost 48), and as long as you have regular periods, you are still ovulating and there's a chance.

...meant to say, I am now going to take my sups: the latest list:
*Coq10
*Folic Acid
*Blackmores Conceive well Gold
*B spectrum
*Fermented Fish oil
*Vit D
*aspirin

The book I just read suggested Melatonin as an anti-oxidant, but only if you are having ivf because it can stop ovulation. So I might start an anti-oxidant with Vit A,C,E, although I think they are in the Conceive Well.

THe book also suggests abstinence from wine (gasp!) and limiting caffeine. Caffeine is the one I have most trouble with. I love my tea, and I really don't like decaf. I will have to find an alternative because I do drink about 6-8 cups a day

gum Have you tried Roibosh/Redbush tea? Caffeine-free, and it tastes really nice... Just a thought! I drink buckets, as I only allow myself 2 cups of coffee a day.
Have a great holiday, it sounds lovely! I admire your sugar abstinence, I really struggle with cutting back on it. Not easy when you love baking!

Welcome to all the newbies, may your stay here be short and sweet.

Re vitamins/supplements - I'm focusing on those who are meant to improve egg quality, as this seems to be the issue with me. Royal Jelly, coQ10, Omega oils and the usual folic acid/conception vitamins - all in double dose (yes, I'm desperate). They are certainly not cheap! DH is also taking the omega oils and the coQ10, plus some man-specific vitamins (he refuses the Royal Jelly, don't ask).
I'm staying away from agnus castus, as well as the extra Vit B6, after having a bad reaction to it. My cycles are fine, so not really necessary anyway - I did at one point panic that they were getting shorter, but this does not seem to cause any problems. I can fall pg, but struggle to stay pg.

10DPO, and I think I'm out - my temps are all over the place, my FF chart looks like the skyline of the Himalayas . Plus, we only dtd once during my fertile window (which was very difficult to detect this time, Cbfm failed, and I had only a couple of very weak OPKs). Sigh.

gum giving up caffeine was hard for me as well and I am back drinking gallons of it!!!

Hi, I'm 40+ and still breast feeding but what does TTC stand for??
!!

Boosey - it's trying to conceive

Hi, newbie here (to both mumsnet and TTC!). Not quite forty but close enough. Had coil removed a few months back and bought the royal jelly and folic acid supps. Not been taking them regularly though as with one thing and another we decided to hold our horses for a while. Now I'm worried I didn't do enough pre natal stuff. That said I'm massively worried I will get pregnant and massively worried I won't get pregnant. Just a worrier I guess (and maybe a touch indecisive!) No temping/charting/ovulation kit testing at all. Is it recommended or shall I just calm the cluck down?!

Hi Rhoo, I always start off by saying I will not get obsessed with the whole thing but a few weeks later my resolve goes and a huge bundle of ovulation sticks are in the post! Interestingly out of the approx 50 cycles I have spent in total trying to catch the egg, I actually conceived ds when I was on holiday and there were no ovulation sticks anywhere to be seen.
Good luck with it all

I had a lovely evap this morning . I can normally rely on internet strips to give me the odd evap but the last batch I bought were disappointingly sensible. This one however gave me a shadow *oooooooooh. So that was my morning sorted, lots of standing on chairs and trying to see a line in a thousand different lights. Sadly I'm looking at it now and I see nothing. Was fun while it lasted though.

New era I am sorry about that. I know how you feel.sometimes I stare for so long that the control line just magically morphs into a line.. I try natural light, fluorescent light, flashlight, candlelight... Have done it all ! Thankfully I have started using ICs as otherwise I would have been declared bankrupt buying FRERs.

I am off to see miscarriage specialist on weds. My husband and I have started to joke that he will say that he and his expert team reviewed my notes and the result of my £800 blood tests and after many hours one of them had diagnosed our problem by something spotted on our notes....my age...!

NewEra - how many dpo are you? Those evap lines can be very deceptive. I had one when I was pregnant with DS, the next day I had a proper bfp. However, I've had many more evaps that didn't result in a bfp sadly. I hope yours does!

Pessi, I too have looked at epts in every type of light available.I have probably spent so much on epts, it might have paid for donor egg ivf! These days I buy one box of FRER each month that has three tests and try to wait til at least 12 dpo before the obsessing begins. But I have had years of testing starting at 8 dpo (this way madness lies), but after 5 years of ttc, I've stopped all that.

I hope the miscarraige specialist can shed some light on your situation, Pessi.

I am off on my holiday today. Yippee, sun, sand, hours wasted reading...can't wait. I will probably still keep in touch, and see how the thread is going.

Have a lovely holiday Gum. Waves to everyone else.
Feeling shattered today which obviously means I must be pregnant rather than just having had a crazy week at work. AF due in 4 days but I can already feel the onset of cramps & twinges. Oh well, I have convinced myself that next month I will be totally chilled as I have 2 weeks off work with dh. For one of those weeks dd will be at school so we can dtd morning, noon & night. It's got success story written all over it!

Enjoy yourself Gum!
On the note of evap lines, I've only ever had them when I have actually been pregnant. Usually a case of evap line around 10 days post-ov and then faint 'proper' bfp a few days later. Fingers crossed!

Aaah thank you, sadly nope, this was a dodgy test. I think it had a slight dent in the test area and was giving me lovely shadows in some lights. Two tests later stark white BFNs.

What has been slightly weird is AF cramps all day at 10dpo. Of course my wildly optimistic self wants to believe it's implantation cramps. My realistic self thinks it's just my stomach being odd today, god knows why, it does happen sometimes.

So due my period somewhere between 12 and 14 dpo. I think my body might have settled into a 23 day cycle as I have ovulated cd11 and I know LP tends to stay the same. I can't be bothered to get depressed about it do instead once AF comes I will make an appointment with an acupuncturist locally who is Zita West accredited and hope she can do something miraculous wind back five years perhaps

I tested Friday night and got a pale bfp!!!
As you older ladies remember I had a chemical pregnancy before as well as a mmc to tested every day since.
Darker ( but no way as dark as I would have liked).
Haven't told anybody in RL and sitting on a corner with fx. Please send good vibes???

??

Good vibes here too

OOH! Sending cosmic goodies from here too!

Good vibes from here xx

So I had a blob of blood in my knickers about an hour ago. Old blood, only a bit when I wiped. Put in pad thinking AF was here 3 days early. Nothing at all now but still got the mild cramping. It's totally thrown me out if the witch is early. I was really upping my chances next month by being off work & able to dtd in the morning (I've decided that's the key!) feeling very tearful about the whole thing which is unusual. I'm very much a 'dammit another month gone, oh well moving on' kind of person.
Why can't things just be normal? If AF has to turn up, turn up when expected & without all the mucking about. Annoying.