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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Get your cape on, get your cape on! Don't come knockin if the tent's a rockin, but pee on a snake instead - It's just shagging part 27

999 replies

lildottie · 12/08/2014 19:16

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging, shaggers!
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jellypi3 · 13/08/2014 13:34

types of pants snot! This is far to complicated for me lol! :D

Well without going in to TMI, the time's i've noticed it being different, it's been a much thicker consistency and there's more of it, normally for a few days a month? Hope nobody was eating when reading that!

Leela5 · 13/08/2014 14:17

jelly this is utterly gross but will hopefully help:
www.babycenter.com/101_what-cervical-mucus-looks-like-through-your-cycle_10351429.bc

Leela5 · 13/08/2014 14:20

Hi curly sounds like you've been through the mill you poor thing. Fx this is your lucky Fred.

cookie are you ok? How's baby doing?

lauren I'm going to give you a hooya purely coz this happened to me last week and I got my hopes up! Voice of reason I am not normally but today I will be one! Is af definitely due next week?

laurenamium · 13/08/2014 14:25

Yes it's definitely due Monday. It's only CD23 today. But I've had more spotting, cramps have stopped now but spotting is still there- only enough to notice when I wipe. Thinking its probably going to be AF come early Hmm

jellypi3 · 13/08/2014 14:25

thankyou for that link Leela - maybe I was getting my hopes up a bit too soon, my pants snot has been more opaque than that! Oh well, keep on praying and DTD!

Leela5 · 13/08/2014 14:31

lauren it could be IB if that early - when was icing? But try to carry on and put it out of your mind :)

jelly if necessary have a ferret and see what it looks like!

laurenamium · 13/08/2014 14:39

I iced around about last Monday/ Tuesday. So 8 or 9 days ago. It's probably just the start of AF keeping hopes low

ChatEnOeuf · 13/08/2014 16:29

Fingers crossed for you Lauren!

Welcome Curly, what a ttc adventure, hope things happen for you soon.

A bat??! My cat plays the docile scaredy cat role but has (I'm sure) been responsible for a rabbit and a rat in the house. I have witnessed her eat and the regurgitate an entire mouse, the revolting animal.

Cookie I should remember but how many weeks are you? About 33? With steroids on board they mostly do well at that gestation. Hopefully things have calmed down enough for you to get home.

Leela5 · 13/08/2014 17:21

trying not to fuel the fire of symptom spotting but failing dismally lauren it's sounding good...fx!

Leela5 · 13/08/2014 17:24

Just got referral letter to specialist for 'unexplained infertility'. Wow! That 'i' word was like a punch in the face!

Feeling oddly competitive now like I have to beat the system by getting upduffed before the appointment

lildottie · 13/08/2014 17:26

ooh exciting you have appt la. still waiting for my next one.

someone slap me. I just offered to go to pre op (for mondays c section) appt with sil tomorrow as she has no one else to go with her and doesn't want to go on her own. I can't tell dh, he'll kill me. why do I do these things. Im too nice for my own good

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callipygian00 · 13/08/2014 17:34

Wowzers - just spent ages catching up there! Thanks for new Fred. Stats:

Name: Calli
Age: 33
TTC #1 since June 2014, early mc July 2014.
No DC's YET

Lil - hope you can enjoy some tranquil times before the IVF, my friend just gave birth to gorgeous twins girlies after IVF, times are certainly less tranquil for her just now!

Lauren - fx for IB! Try to keep calm...

My cat was a terrible hunter. He'd do all the slow moving stuff but make this weirdo really loud cackle type thing - kinda gave the game away to potential prey. However we lived near a cemetary so he used to steal bring me lovely flowers and cards... Hmm

Hoping to get a contraband smiley tomorrow so cape on tonight. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who's had to hold back on the bj's - thought I was being so mean!

splodge77 · 13/08/2014 17:55

Cor I'm late getting here and catching up too.
Splodge77
Age 37
TTC since April 2014
1 DS aged 3.6

DulcetMoans · 13/08/2014 20:54

Sounding good Lauren, fingers crossed!

The infertility word is a kick la but, as lil says, it's good start to get things rolling. Did you have an appointment? It is more waiting. Next appointment at my clinic is December! Like you, I am on mission to not need the appointment though. Competitive conception!

What a weird selection of cats I have! And how timely, kitten just jumped on laptop as I was typing. Here is what she managed:

hhhh mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sounds like she doesn't fully trust us...

ChatEnOeuf · 13/08/2014 21:46

I thought we were using sub-fertility as a label nowadays Hmm Though, if it gets the ball rolling...
I'm enjoying the last of the pate, good cheese and red wine - finally seeing the end of the MC/ERPC - frolic is out of the boxes (packed with the wine glasses, how inappropriate!) and DH will be back in the country from tomorrow. Yes, he still goes overseas despite the whole family relocation thing.
Lil that's exactly the kind of thing I'd do. Sad, foolish, kind to those who need it.

Leela5 · 13/08/2014 22:28

I'm seething!

My dh asked me to work for him a couple of hours tonight as a favour as he would be late back from meeting. I said yes as It was only a couple of hours. He says can I bring car for him and get bus home, I said yes.

At the moment I was meant to finish and my dh should have been back I am told by another member of staff (he couldn't even tell me himself!) that dh is going to be 2 hours later than he said he would be so I need to stay late.

Ive just got bus home, having also paid for parking of car I took in to help him out. Meanwhile I've been at work in total now since 8am, got home 10pm and have had no dinner. Got to go to bed now to get up 6am to go to work again,

Just sent him a stinking message telling him exactly what I think of him!

Bloody men!

Leela5 · 13/08/2014 22:29

Sub fertility. Love it!

wilmabedrock · 13/08/2014 22:33

Oh lala I'd be raging and probably would have refused to go in the first place. Hope you get a decent night's kip.

BeforeIChangeMyMind · 13/08/2014 22:37

Anyone around to give me a Hooya?!

So I'm minding my own business tonight and I started to get this weird nausea. I hadn't eaten anything since lunchtime and it didn 't feel food-related, reminded me a bit of morning sickness. Now I'm a bit crampy on one side - nothing mega but certainly 'real' if that makes sense.

I would say it was ov pain but I got smileys on my one-time ov kit last Friday and Saturday on the same side.

Anyone? Be gentle with me please!

BeforeIChangeMyMind · 13/08/2014 22:42

Sorry La I didn't see your last post. I'd be seething too. And you are not 'sub' anything. Get some good sleep - hope tomorrow is a better day for you

wilmabedrock · 13/08/2014 22:45

I'll give you a gentle hooya Before only because I think nausea is an unreliable symptom. Fx for you though.

RPopz · 13/08/2014 22:48

Mini hooya Before Smile crosses fingers

Bloody hell La - are we betting he's too scared to come home tonight??? Mine would be!

Ah the "I" word... bandied round with terrifying casualness by the lovely medical people! The nurse wrote "INFERTILITY" on my request form when I went to have my ovulation bloods done... That was a kick in the teeth Sad Least you are in the system now tho and hopefully don't need to be Smile

My cats are idiots. Never caught anything, either of them!

Leela5 · 13/08/2014 22:49

Fx before, rooting for you xx

lil you are too nice but I think I would have agreed to go too

callipygian00 · 13/08/2014 22:51

La - squeeze his earlobe. Always makes me feel better.

Before - maybe a bit early for morning sickness? I get nausea when I don't eat so I'd have probably put it down to that. But it's different for everyone, so you never know.

lildottie · 13/08/2014 23:25

before I think the sickness is from not eating so mini hooya for you.

glad I'm not the only idiot nice person left in the world. was texting her tonight about our situation and how its hard to be seeing them where we want to be. feel a but better now.

mmmm wine I wish I had wine.

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