Le BESH est trying to win un petit baybee.

[HaveUrselfAFaithyChristmasBaby]

Bring your best Franglais and gin. Newbies always welcome, complete la BESHtionnaire et nous will judge assess vous accordingly.

Oh Laura, I'm so sad for you. Have a massive hug from me as well. You must be in a lonely place at the moment but we're all here online at least. Where do you live? Are there any ESH nearby?

LP I'm in London on Thursday. Can administer hairstrokes and gin from about 5pm?

Northey hope you have a better day today.

RieBie I also spilled my guts to someone I work with last night after he asked me when I was going to reproduce. His wife is pregnant for the 2nd time, his DD is 13 months. My only saving grace is he is lovely & won't tell anyone else. Bloody pink wine. Honesty juice.

oh, I'm feeling well mushy now from all the sweet ESHness and digging out my suitcases. TOM et TinyTOM left for the afternoon, which gives me time to pack up some clothes, etc. Then they'll drive me to the London flat. Am feeling so sad and yucky. I can't believe I'm packing my things to leave this house.

Sunny and Euro thank you so much for offers of RL time.

Euro a lunch date or drinks would be great. I'm free both Mon & Tues, if you want to make plans? I'm in Hackney, innit, but will be happy to travel to wherever is best for you.

Sunny I'm working late (8.00ish) on Thursday but will be going to a friend's gig in at the cosy little bar The WheelBarrow in Camden - it's the one night I've got plans! Would be lovely if you (and any other local ESH) want to come. The musician is Sarah Schiralli - she is lovely and amazing. Brilliant song . Thursday's gig is a free show where she'll be testing out some new material with her new band, WoodTiger.

Listening to the above song is making me feel a bit better. Still can't believe I'm packing. Fuck.

Oh laura I am so sorry that it has come to this. I had every hope for you that some counselling in the new year and perhaps the break from the ttc would allow you to sort things out and I'm sorry that it just couldn't work out like that. Starting over must be very scary for you and I do hope your Phd gives you something positive to focus on going forward.

Hackney! I know a former BESH in Hackney!

I would come if I could, LP and we could sing together "I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair.." but it's 300 miles. I will be there in spirit, singing and buying you drinks.

Don't think about the packing :( Just switch off and do it.

Laura,I've just left London or I would be there like a shot. But I will probably be back visiting in a few weeks and able to soothe you through a low, or cheer with you through a high, depending on how you are feeling. Fuck, am so cross I can't be there now.

Am fine thanks, lugs. A good night's sleep and Laura's news has put yesterday's wobble into perspective. I will be fine.

You are all making me feel so much less alone - thank you.

I never expected to find such an amazing group of friends through a parenting website. Fuck whatever I said before about facebook and anonymity - I would be honoured to make ESH 'facefriends'. (although I'm really shitty at keeping up with facebook, even worse than MN - of course that may change a bit now as my life is changing so drastically...)

Trying to finish packing before TOM et TinyTOM return. Wishing to open a bottle of wine...know it would be stoopid.

I am so emotionally drained and exhausted.

Thank you for the positive words and hair stroking.

I just bet you do want a bottle of wine right now. But I think you're right about it not being a great idea when you have to stay in control of packing and moving and saying goodbye. I would definitely open one at the other end, though, to help with the unpacking side of things, the first night and so on.

How much more have you got left to pack?

Wine might help initially, but I would wait to open one at the other end otherwise the evil packing will never get done.

We are still at my in-laws until tomorrow - we have been clearing out one of the bedrooms and I have never seen so much shit in my life. The Mister is a hoarder, but in comparison to his mother he is an amateur. She has kept all of the drawings and paintings he and his brother have ever done and they were prolific! I have also found The Mister's collection of animal skulls, bones and fossils. Gross.

Step away from the wine Laura
Once you know it you've drunk the lot and are emotional and incapable.

OK, I have caved and watched OBEM. I am fucking outraged that someone so immature with so little self control over his rage has fathered a child

When I think of lovely, patient, caring MrA. Grrrrrrr

I am not watching again.

I may have been in a temper when I wrote the above. He is immature and needs to grow up a lot, but there's no need for me to get cross myself. It's bad for my inner karma goddess thing

I was outraged too. He was acting like a right prick and I feel sorry for the people living with him if he flies off the handle just like that. Actually I feel sorry for that poor young girl anyway.

This is why I haven't watched that show (OBEM)...too afraid my anger will surface inappropriately. And feel terribly jealous.

Have taken a packing break; have avoided the wine. We're going to take TinyTOM out to dinner and explain that I'll be staying in London. Painful.

Thanks again for all y'all's support today - it's been so valuable.

You know what really irritates me in general.....people with no compassion, selfish self centred whiney people with no compassion. And what also irritates me is that the world is becoming full of these people. And I'm not entirely sure about what we can do about it.

Anyway, that's my rant over. Lovely LP your Thursday night sounds fab but I will leave you to your RL friends & hope that we can meet up soonest. How's your packing coming along?

Rie you know what Cass say NGCCOWTP (or something to that effect?!)

I'm lying on the sofa like a slob. And I don't care.

I know Sunny. She would be very, very disappointed in me :(. And I think I know what you're referring to in your rant. Unless it's to me?

Any time Laura. Keep talking xxx

Sorry LaLaura X posts . Repeating what Rie has said we are here anytime. The ESH are a fabulous group of ladies.

Rie, yes she would and yes I think you do

Well done for avoiding wine - I think that was probably sensible :( Good luck for dinner tonight. Fingers tightly crossed that TinyTOM does that unexpected child thing of taking it totally in his stride and making it all very easy for you and TOM. How does TOM seem, btw? Obviously our concern is for you, but I was just wondering how he was taking things and how he was being towards you.

Oh shitting fuck Laura this is the first chance I've had to come on all day (that's working full time that is). I am so bloody sorry. Arms around you. I can't afford to come to That London but I want to you know. Big X and more hairstrokes.

I hope the dinner with TinyTOM goes as well as it can. How old is he, btw (sorry if I have missed that)?

BTW, have PM'd you re: lunch next week. :)

Where is everyone hiding tonight?

Behind the sofa?

BFN this morning. But still no droid on day 44 (10 days longer than last cycle).

Was thinking of you last night, laura. How did it go?

thinking of you lovely laura and hoping that you are coping ok today.