We are all jolly well going to get preggers this month in a nonchalant non-psycho way, and hang onto it, and there will be no brooking of any argument whatsoever!

[ScreamIfYouWantToGoFaster]

Welcome across Rat Smackers! Glad you found the place okay. This is THE MONTH when we get those deceitful pee sticks to own up to the BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS - we are all already preggers! After all; positive people get positive pee sticks!

I hope you all like what I've done with our new home

You'll note the updated title, courtesy of farfalla. Various healthy snacks have been set out on the coffee tables, to ensure our bumps are receiving the appropriate nutritional balance

Also, my personal favourite adjustment, you'll note the strategically positioned peephole, right here, providing us with a sneaky preview of the utopian delights awaiting us in the NO BROOKING vomitorium ante-natal thread.

So let's get to it preggos! Remember: see a rat - smack it!

Go for the bang on trend bump look imps!!! I refused to spend money on clothes i'd wear for 4 months, if that... and was blessed with enough hand-me-downs, though not all to my taste, it has to be said...

I NEED chocolate. I fear the evil witch is imminent...

I've had a number of cheese sandwiches in the last couple of weeks and I can't remember the last time I had one. imaginary pg symptom?

yes jen, your body craving the calcium to grow baby-jenfraggle's bones

WHEN are you testing jen? when are you officially late? we need a good bfp on this thread, now!

Supposed to be due tomorrow/Sat something like that. Pee sticks posted today so should be here next week and will test the morning after they come if AF hasn't arrived by then.

We do need a bfp on this thread but I do feel it should be someone else's turn before me as I only started ttc a couple of weeks ago

Got a really itchy breast which is driving me crazy!

Go jen!

I take it you'll all be cervix rummaging after my wittering instructional post then

2dpo and the 2ww anxiety is creeping in before FF has even given me crosshairs...I'll feel so much better once the BFP is confirmed.

my favourite quote from somebody on the charting thread. something along the lines of " there's sperm. there's an egg. JUST FERTILISE." I am going to give duckdodgers credit but it might have been somebody else.

jaggy, I agree, just BLOODY well FERTILISE!!!! We are fed up, Brooking No Argument and ARE going to be knocked up if not this month then very soon NOW

Love all the positivity and gorgeous maternity fashion today. I like the look of that maxi dress, Solars think I'll get one myself, worn with a nice, big chunky necklace and ring. Looking good, dream too.

Bloody Boots - argh. I tried to be all healthy at lunch today and got pasta salad from Boots and crisps and to drink I chose some water with added vitamins (you know, for minicola). After I'd drunk about 3/4 of it I peered at the label and noticed it had bloomin' caffeine in it. I don't drink tea or coffee and have cut down to one generic diet cola per day so I was not happy to have inadvertently consumed caffeine - argh! If that prevents minicola implanting I'm suing

Love the 'just fertilise' - makes me think of Nike. Just Do It. Fertilise.

Ooh nearly forgot, just baked some chocolate chip cookies - help yourselves preggos.

Oh dear god, I've stumbled upon another website nearly as addictive as mumsnet. I'm never going to be able to concentrate on real life things again. Has anyone else come across pinterest?

now look. i've googled pinterest. i don't need any more addictive websites thanks!!!!

i just know i'm going on a long journey of pinning nice pictures. but why? it serves no purpose except to waste my time, damn those nice pictures. i don't have time to create my life in mood boards!

Ninja step away from the boards !!

JUST FERTILISE !!

(oooo the pretty pictures do look so tempting...)

mmmmm i smell cookies....actually I shall be off for a shag shortly! Maybe I should get all direct with dp and jump on him and shout 'just fertilise!'

sorry if there was far tmi in that last post.

how romantic ninja.

i still can't remember who wrote that but it summed up my grumpiness perfectly at the time.

now officially 3 dpo according to FF, hope the egg was listening to all that 'just bloody fertilise' chat.

Hey jaggy I only just noticed your update re cervix rummaging. You've not managed to convince me to start rummaging, but if the evil witch does put in an appearance this month I might well buy that book and see if there's some instructions

Did you get laid last night Ninja?

CD26 and 9DPO for me. I need a kick up the ass, I'm feeling a bit negative today. I suppose it's because it's getting near AF time and I'm fearing the worst.

COD are you still around? Weren't you testing yesterday?

And has anyone seen Maybe?

Scarlet I feel the same, well actually I'm wavering between positivity and despair. At least we will know in the next few days.

Maybe's on holiday, or is she back now? How are you Maybe?

Pinterest looked very pretty but I just don't have time for more addictions interests.

Right! This could be a busy weekend with Jen COD and maybe me, Dream and Scarlet confirming so let's rouse ourselves for one more chorus:

WHAT DO WE WANT? POSITIVE PEE STICKS!
WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? NOW!
JUST FERTILISE!

is maybe still on holiday?
yes the shagathon is in full swing here. I have to say i have never tried to find my cervix and really wouldn't have the faintest idea what i was doing if i tried. I would probably end up with a nasty internal injury!
scarlet what do we want? positive pee sticks! when do we want them? now!. The waiting game is the hardest bit especially near the end. Maybe a bit more visualisation will help? Can you visualise poas and getting a bfp? and then waving it excitedly at your dp? and then trying to keep in secret from everyone else? Allow yourself a daydream and have one of generics choc chip cookies.

wow what a lot of bfp's to look forward too! how exciting.

What do we want?
Positive pee sticks!
When do we want them?
Next week when they arrive Now!

Af arrived yesterday

Sorry to hear that COD

You are now on day 2 of your pregnancy though and the rat will be smacked so hard this month that it won't be coming back for months I'm sure :)

Sorry to hear that COD but Jen is right. Hope you're OK.

I have twinges - preggo symptom or AF symptom? You decide.

sorry to hear about af cod but as jen said, you are now 2 days pregnant. congratulations!