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Original poster

How am I going to tell her Dad!

138 replies

StAnne · 03/12/2009 11:18

My teenager has just announced that she is pregnant. How could this happen? We are a religious family and her father is going to hit the roof. She is a very good girl and we go to temple every week. She seems very content and happy to tell me she is due in three weeks time. She thinks its a blessing but only waited until now to tell me. It's amazing she hasn't shown until now. I'm a wreck how can we tell him this news?

OP posts:
Bramshott · 03/12/2009 12:12

Stone her - that'll sort her out . Remember to get a job lot of fake beards in though.

Original poster
StAnne · 03/12/2009 12:23

nickelbabe yes! please. She in her room praying now and won't help me with the chores!
Francagoestohollywood Egypt that sounds good. I hear the diving in the Red Sea this time of year is great. Would he take her to Sharm El Shiekh the hotels I hear are fab!
Right I'm off to the river.

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 03/12/2009 12:24

okay, his email is [email protected]

Original poster
StAnne · 03/12/2009 12:25

themildmanneredjanitor Yes I know her she looks a bit like a man. Didn't she have it off with a Roman. Look at me gossiping what am I doing. I'm off.

OP posts:
Miggsie · 03/12/2009 12:26

Pop her on a donkey and send her on a vist somewhere where no one knows you.

Sounds like the sort of girl who would hang out with shepherds as well.

differentID · 03/12/2009 12:34

now hang on a second Miggsie, this is the OP's DD you're on about

What are you trying to imply?

titchy · 03/12/2009 12:39

It's the People's Judean Front actually - the People's Front of Judea are an entirely different group altogether.

MissGreatBritain · 03/12/2009 12:52

Do you know who the baby's real father is? I bet I can guess - he's the one who messes everything up then buggers off so no one can find him.

FabIsVeryHappy · 03/12/2009 13:27

Sorry StAnne

It just didn't read as you planned to me, sorry.

nickelbabe · 03/12/2009 13:30

that's a bit unfair MissGB! i'm sure he means well and has everybody's best interests at heart: just noone listens to him, the nthey fuck people up and blame him

Original poster
StAnne · 03/12/2009 15:14

Only have 5 mins before DD gets back from the chemist.
Miggsie She not that sort of girl. But...That's the trouble with being a Mum you can't be with them all the time. maybe I should have agreed to those sex ed lessons
FabI only got a CSE English grade 'C' So are you suggesting that I don't have a book inside me. I don't have the money for a ghost writer.
Bramshott I've seen you in beard going to the stoning while I've walked past with my donkey shame on you.
titchy School suggested CAMHS too!
nickelbabe Going to e-mail him now
(Must dash must collect Ds in RL from school)

OP posts:
ChloeHandbag · 03/12/2009 16:45

Do be careful, I heard that sometimes shortly after the birth three blokes turn up with gifts - make sure they're CRB checked.

wukter · 03/12/2009 17:16

There's the practicalities to consider also, you'll need some swaddling cloths and whatever you do, don't forget a crib for a bed. And maybe a CD of cattle - lowing, gets them straight off to sleep!

ilovemydogandmrobama · 03/12/2009 17:21

Heard that Palestine has a generous benefits system, and lots of immigrants are going to take advantage. Housing benefit though will take a few weeks...

wukter · 03/12/2009 17:23

Also, you'll probably see on a lot of websites that you must get gold, frankincense, myrhh and maybe a lamb or too. Save your silver - IME you get them as gifts anyway, particularly at this time of year.l

Original poster
StAnne · 03/12/2009 19:03

DH should be home soon I've made him his favorite Chicken soup & Latkes It should get him into a good mood. DD is looking all pleased with herself and I'm biting my nails. Have phoned the Rabbi (used to be an old boyfriend but DH doesn't know) He has been in the news lately and just got off a drugs charge. His lawyer does miracles. He has come up with a great idea. DH always goes to the Pub Quiz on Thursday. Rabbi will drop him some LSD that the Romans didn't find when they searched his flat. He's then going to wait until he gets home get a megaphone and a strong light and pretend to be god and tell DH that he is blessed and his daughter is going to have the son of God. Hope this plan works. DH can get pretty moody don't blame him he is a hard working man!
ChloeHandbag We will keep your tip in mind.
wukter While DH is down the pub I'm going to look for baby stuff in the loft
Oh! I hear the key in the lock see ya later wish me luck

OP posts:
Original poster
StAnne · 03/12/2009 19:24

he said he was going straight to the pub

OP posts:
Francagoestohollywood · 03/12/2009 19:34

Jeez the lengths we go to to support our dc . You are a great mum

Original poster
StAnne · 03/12/2009 21:07

MissGB I think he might be the milkman. He a good looking lad, dark hair, skinny has a goatee beard looks a bit like Robert Powell. He goes around talking about Peace & Love. DD is sticking to her story that she had a visit from God and it is an immaculate conception. I hope CAMHS can help?
Nickelbabe I?ve received an e-mail from Joseph. He a bit old for my girl. But on the other hand he is self employed and kind to his Mum. DD has hit the roof when I gave her your suggestion. She is downstairs now crying and eating figs, coal & chocolate all at once.
wukter I?ve been up in the loft found the old baby things swaddling cloths and my old maternity gown in light blue and white. Takes me back when the kids were just babies and now I?m going to be a Gran

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Original poster
StAnne · 03/12/2009 21:17

Francagoestohollywood yes your right I hope My DD turns out the same. I'm really tired now but I won't sleep for worrying

OP posts:
Starbear · 03/12/2009 21:41

[Grin]

Starbear · 03/12/2009 21:42

ops!

ilovemydogandmrobama · 03/12/2009 22:28

busted

nickelbabe · 04/12/2009 10:37

StAnne,

Keep plugging away at her about Joseph: he really is the best choice for her. he's worldy wise and is very devout, so he will look after her.
Have to say, he was a bit worried to start with, but he prayed a lot and is convinced that it's what God wants.

Starbear · 04/12/2009 10:51

Well that worked last night. DH came home from the pub. Rabbi in the garden up a tree near our bedroom window Mega phone in hand and strong light. Told DH that he was God and we were going to be blessed with a grandson that is the son of God! With the LSD in his system DH has taken it all in. I knelled down with him to play my part.
nickelbabe It so happens that Joseph is the nephew of my cousin Rachael,3 times removed. So she gave me his Mum's number and they are coming for Tea on Sunday! I didn't think I would be into this match making and arranged marriages but needs must. thanks for the advice. Now we've got to think about a Dowry!