The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Made my wreath last night , need to tie the bow ( I'm really bad at them)

@Carriemac Such a lovely wreath! There are lots of tutorials on YouTube/insta/tiktok for tying ‘perfect’ bows - it’s easier to do it first and then you attach it to the wreath with wire.

@Confusedmeanderings what a beautiful village! A truly magical scene.

@Canofpeas I really love those. What a good idea to do one per day.

@dementedma the tree is very pretty! Your creations sound delectable, too. I cheated this year and bought grape nectar to have with cheese instead of making chilli honey. But I did make a Christmas chutney.

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat the lanterns are fantastic!

I’m writing a few more cards today and will pop them into the postbox. Then everything is done and I can get back into baking/making.

Not quite finished yet but smallest dgc tried it out anyway last night. I need interior lights!

I am going to get the dgc to hook the rest of the charity shop baubles on after school.

@Trumpton Sorry, I’m terrible with names...is it you who puts up a different wallpaper every Christmas?

@TangledWebofMincemeatDeception
It is indeed!
it’s coming on. Only about 100 more paper cranes to make!

Ohhhh what’s your theme this year then?

The theme this year is Peace cranes. Many many peace cranes dangling from the fairy lights.
ignore the very faded crepe ( crap) paper bunting!

Ah I love it! Meanwhile I keep putting off weaving a few paper stars/hearts!

@Trumpton that canopy is beautiful!

Some food ponceing last night. We had our goddaughter and her friends over for a little Christmas party and I made my first sweet grazing platter. It was rather fun; a bit like painting with chocolate and biscuits!

It’s very cold here tonight and we just had our first new energy bill through. Heating has been turned down a little more but we’re still feeling festive with thick socks, blankets and fairy lights.

Paper stars hung

@Carriemac How on earth do you change a lightbulb?? 🤔

DH leans over the landing and pulls it towards him . He has a terrible head for heights

Blimey 😵 Do you hold onto his feet?
DH does a weird balancing act on the landing window when he cleans it...I'm always instructed to hold his foot ballast apparently 🤔

I've been making lots and lots of swedish peppakakshus (gingerbread house) kits for a local charity. I bought the spices whole, and toasted then ground them to make them as fragrant as possible. The kitchen has been smelling incredible for the last week!
Peppakakor recipe - I added a few peppercorns to the spice mix too, and if you're making houses, not men, leave out the bicarb.

We, well, me and dd1, spent the afternoon in the kitchen yesterday making our cranberry sauce and Nigel Slater's stollen recipe. Dd also made pastry for 24 mince pies, but so far that's as far as she's got 🤷‍♀️ I may help out & turn it into the actual pies, on Weds, while she cooks.

The stollen is very moreish but my marzipan stayed in it's sausage shape so is just a lump through the middle. Next time I'll either flatten it so it runs through the middle, or attempt bite sized pieces, to then roll in butter & icing sugar. The fruits towards the edges burnt slightly too, so I pre-picked those off 🤣 My oven's a bit knackered so you usually have to judge by look/smell/sizzle when you open it🤦‍♀️

I've painted the last robin too; all packed away now til next year. Maybe I'll find time to do something else but I'm not planning to.

I'm still going on the advent calendar decorations and now I have a tree to put them on! First real tree in 7 years after my husband convinced me it made sense to get a plastic tree because we had 2 kids under 3 years. (I'm sure I'll forgive him in time...)

Some of the designs are a bit left field, DD2 has moved the sugar skull (not pictured) to the very back of the tree.

I love stollen! Very impressed with those making it at home. DH picked one up from Nuremberg when he was there for work last month but I've promised my Dad I'll keep it till he visits between Christmas and New Year.

Ah @Canofpeas they're very cute. I’ve been able to have a real tree again last year and this year, since we finally moved into our own house after several years of living in flats. It’s so lovely (I’m Danish and had never seen a fake tree inside a home until I came to the U.K., so a real tree is the only thing that feels properly right to me) and the smell is just wonderful.

@lucysmam you've already done so much, I’m not surprised you’ve got nothing else planned! Have you decorated the gingerbread houses yet?

I made mince pies yesterday. My first time as I’ve got little experience with pastry so DH is the one who’s usually in charge of that. They turned out rather well which I’m pleased about. Next time they need 10 degrees less, I think - our oven runs quite hot and they got a little bit overdone. But I’m proud of myself for just doing it!

A little peek at the tree. Need to add a few more baubles but I forgot I gave my wire hooks to my daughter so I’ll need to get some more. Could use ribbon but I think it’ll get a little cluttered....

@HintofVintagePink that’s a lovely display! I really don’t like grazing tables where all sorts of different foods are smushed in together, but I think it works really nicely with sweets.

@Carriemac oh no that gave me a bit of a stomach ache...He’s much braver than me! Looks lovely.

@lucysmam I rolled the marzipan out flat last year then rolled it up with the dough like a swiss roll. It didn't stay very even, because of the dough rising, but it did make a bit of a swirl rather than a big dollop. Prob not very trad but I quite liked it

@TangledWebofMincemeatDeception no, we're going to make, and decorate, the houses next week. The dough freezes well enough I find so it's something I can tick off the list when I have a spare minute.

@bigbadbarry that sounds like a good idea, we'll try it that way next time. There will definitely be a next time; I'm just enjoying a slice with a coffee before I head back out again.

I had a play with making folded paper stars out of off cuts of wrapping paper. I think it's turned out reasonably well.

My DDs would say I've watched too many Instagram videos 😂