The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Our trees are up! I got coloured lights for one tree this year and it’s a complete mish mash (the DC love it!). Our other tree is frosted and themed and very grown up.
Hoping to have time tomorrow to finish the wreath and dress the stairs. DH and I went foraging yesterday and found lots of pine.

Ohhh may we see your trees?

I’m putting up the outdoor lights tomorrow (one string of warm lights along our fence).

@LaChatte your baubles are gorgeous!

I’ve added some pine and eucalyptus to the faux wreath I made a few weeks ago. It’s a bit ‘wilder’ than I’d planned but I quite like it. I don’t expect the eucalyptus to stay looking fresh but fingers crossed!

Picture would help!

@HintofVintagePink your wreath is beautiful!! Is it attached to the door or the masonry?

@HintofVintagePink your wreath is gorgeous. Doesn't look wild at all

Thank you!
It’s attached to the door glass with a large sucker hook. Already driving DH mad as the ‘twiddly bits’ as he calls them keep setting off the Ring doorbell 😊

Oh it’s gorgeous! Just the right kind of wild, like a well-constructed bedhead, all sexy and ‘effortless’!

Love it.

I am not a baker.

But my youngest is dairy free, shop bought vegan stuff is aimed at adults, expensive and vegan ExH is spending Christmas Eve-Boxing Day with us (we get on well, have been split up for over a decade, DCs are sick of their day being knee capped/dragged around, I’m a soft touch) so I did a trial run of biscuits - almond butter, cinnamon, banana.

They came out far better than I expected and they’ve already been scoffed.

Youngest DD got in on the Ponceing and has painted/glittered up a bunch of wooden Christmas trees to string along her bed whilst I finished DBros requested hat.

I'll be back to catch up after a shower; in the meantime, are my sheep faces any better? They'll have to do either way now really so I can varnish tonight 🤷‍♀️

@ChristmasPickleRick Looks delicious!
@lucysmam They are adorable. They will definitely bring a smile.

@ChristmasPickleRick The biscuit shapes are great. I freeze mine for 15 minutes once cut but pre baking. They seem to keep their shape a bit better

Ooh the sheep look lovely and sheepish. They have put their cattish past behind them

@HintofVintagePink your wreath is beautiful. & has reminded me I bought a door bow for ours this year, but then I thought about the letterbox being blocked & put it away.

Maybe I should get it out and see what it looks like 🤔

My Nativity is drying overnight, I'll try and remember to snap a pic before bed. I need to do some birthday shopping for dd2 tonight, so things are definitely delivered on time.

Actually, while I remember, I put my garland, cabin lights and beads along the mantlepiece this afternoon - beads attached with glue dots, but they keep coming down and making me jump 🤣 Any better ideas to secure the beads for the month? (Excuse the random 'stuff', it hasn't been re-homed yet!)

If it won’t remove the paint, I’d just use some sellotape on the top and hide it underneath your garland. I love the little houses.

Or little command hooks? Or the sucker hooks? Under the Garland as suggested above

Such lovely poncing going on! I 'made' my mincemeat this morning - DH was conveniently out of the way doing some shopping. We chose our tree yesterday at the tree farm. It will be cut and ready to be collected on the 12th. The village is coming on apace, we've got to the fun bit of arranging it all. So Christmas preparations are coming on apace!

You ponced your mincemeat! 🕵️‍♀️😎😉
he’s going to love it.

Speaking of Mincemeat Deception, here I am!!

Only little touches of ponce going on here atm, mostly of the edible variety.

Received one of my Christmas food orders, including naice salami, guanciale, wild boar, venison and partridge páté, grape nectar and a couple of other things which I can’t remember...

Made an apple and mincemeat cake yesterday.

Also some very gentle poncing in the way of little Christmassy touches as pictured*, but nothing of the handcrafted variety yet. Haven’t actually started the puzzle yet, nor the novels, because we had people over on Friday and Saturday.

Was going to do the outdoor lights yesterday but the weather was awful so it’s been bumped to this coming Sunday instead.

Realised yesterday that I hadn’t got out the Christmas mugs/crockery! I knew something was not quite right...

*The Little Royal Copenhagen teddy bear was a recent charity shop find which I’m chuffed with!

🎄🎄🎄

@lucysmam what a cosy mantle! So lovely.

You could possibly use blu-tac and just press one little bead into it to secure, then sit a little house atop each one to hide it? Or use blu-tax but further back so the garland hides it instead.

@TangledWebofMincemeatDeception yours should win first prize in the festive name change competition!

I love your Xmas novels and jigsaw. I think I read the Santa Klaus mystery last year, it's good if it's the one I remember! You've also reminded me that I have a festive jigsaw under the sofa that I need to get out - though we never seem to have much time at the moment, so I don't know if we'll actually get very far with it!

@TangledWebofMincemeatDeception
I have mug envy. I found a couple on eBay but too expensive even to ponce with!

Lots of little poncy bits going on here this afternoon/evening

I've started wrapping finally, painted another robin for another friend, made gingerbread dough to freeze, made some more paper chains for the kitchen with dd1, retreived my village but not set about blocking it again yet, located some teeny command hooks for the beads on the fireplace, and put some tiny baubles onto my tiny tree <phew...that's loads actually!> Oh, and, presents for the girls are all sorted!

I'm knackered & we're only on Monday! Tbf though, I'm booked up every day until Sunday now, apart from bits and bobs I'll squeeze in here and there. I'm most excited for our Nativity at work this week though, the children are ace 🥰

I'm still in two minds as to whether to paint the other two robins I've been asked for 🤔 They're do-able while the oven heats up, over a couple of nights. I just don't know whether to pack up while I'm ahead & steadily do my own thing maybe, for once.

Pics attached of latest robin, and peg people Nativity

@SirSamVimesCityWatch Ah thanks - it was inspired by a comment @HannahDefoesTrenchcoat made about @Confusedmeanderings’s mincemeat which she ‘makes’ every year (poncing up a jar of Robertson’s mincemeat). I’m glad to have a thumbs up for the book - I’ll start that one tomorrow, then!🎄

@Trumpton I got some Emma Bridgewater Christmas pieces as an early Christmas gift from DH last year! I’ve just bought a few more in their sale. There are often very good reductions in the NY. 🎄