The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I have made my almost 2 year old her own hanging Christmas tree in the hope that she’ll rearrange decorations on this rather than the real thing. Except, it’s much bigger than I thought it’d be, and the 8-10 decorations I had planned in my head will look sparse, so I now have to get the felt out and go mad this week!
I am very pleased with it and only sharing it here because I haven’t shown it off in real life yet.

I love the craftiness of the people on this thread- so inspiring!

@kiwi17 These are going to look amazing. Looking forward to seeing the pictures of them “in action”

@lucysmam The robins are great, and would look great on any tree.. (I’m glad that I’m not the only one that gets anxious that things are not quite right, and can see every imperfection). I love the last one.

@MammaWeasel I’m inspired to give this a try!

@BeastOfBODMAS The cross stitch cards are so smart! Lucky recipients!

Advent calendars filled and ready to hang tomorrow night.

The red and white one is DD1's and she'll take it back to her house and the cream one lives here and is for DD2 and DS. I know my children are adult/late teens but if their mum can't spoil them then who can?

I'll eventually make a calendar for DD2 to have when she gets her own home and then DS can have the original.

Those advent calendars are beautiful!

I love those advent calendars @TheWoollybacksWife absolutely stunning

@TheWoollybacksWife those advent calendars look poncefessional!! Loving the idea. What goodies do you put inside them?

@CuriousEats just chocolates. A mini Lindt Santa for Christmas Eve and then a mix of Wilko Belgian choc neopolitans, Malteser reindeer etc - whatever the seasonal aisle in B&M have 😂

There would be a riot if it was anything else than chocolate tbh.

Thank you everyone for the compliments. They were both made from kits and I had a lot of help from an online craft community that I'm part of when I made the red and white one. I'm definitely more comfortable crafting in wool than in fabric.

Loving all the updates and #poncefessional !

Wow!! Such a lot of really lovely things you’ve made! Makes me happy.

@MammaWeasel I’m now thinking I might make some clay pears so my partridge can finally sit on a pear tree twig!

Loving the pics of beautiful crafts ❤️❤️❤️

The robins are complete & second coat of varnish is drying over night, ready to wrap nicely for my friend tomorrow evening. Even though she asked for them, I still want to present them nicely. Does anyone have any better ideas than tissue paper, that won't take me long (I already have quite a bit planned for tomorrow evening as I'm out after work Thurs/Fri, and out on Saturday).

@lucysmam They are beautiful! Do you have some fat quarters or some pretty fabric and ribbon? You could lay each one flat and wrap in fabric rather than tissue?

Ah they are so lovely @lucysmam!

I agree with suggestion above, if you have the fabric available.

Otherwise you could wrap them individually in tissue, then stack together, then wrap as you normally would.

It’s such a lovely present, you’re lovely to put so much thought an effort in.

I’m sad tonight. Christmas is cancelled. Not a big deal, really, but I just don’t have it in me (reasons). So I’ve taken down the nisser and the Advent candles, and unwound the lights from the staircase. I’m being silly, of course, and I’ll regret it I’m sure. Thanks for indulging me here, I know it’s a bit of a pity party.

Hope you’re ok @TangledWebofMincemeatDeception This is only worth doing if it’s fun after all, not a source of pressure. Stick around and Ponce Vicariously if you like!

Thank you all for the encouragement with the cards, I am sticking with it! Made my key lime pie for the freezer last night. I’m hoping to take DD up to the farm park today and have a mooch round the very fancy farm shop. Possibly a fortifying coffee and cake after all the pointing and saying baa - hope they do a vegan mince pie.

The robins look lovely @lucysmam.

And those advent calendars are stunning @TheWoollybacksWife. I love the red one especially.

I hope you are ok @TangledWebofMincemeatDeception. Sounds pretty serious to have to cancel Christmas at this stage. Look after yourself.

I made the Christmas cake yesterday but unfortunately it’s a bit burnt on top. Had the oven a bit high I think. Hopefully I can slice off the top and it will be fine once iced.

Thank you 💐Feel silly this morning, but things look a little brighter too.

It’s not as serious as all that - I just meant it’s cancelled for me, for now. Not going to go on and on about it, I promise; I’m okay really.

Someone said to me to keep in mind that as the days go by, the light is closer to coming. So to hold on to that thought, I’ve brought the Advent candles back out.

Still planning to make my clay pears, but I’ll probably leave it a week or so.

Loving all the beautiful things everyone has made. You’re all very talented!

Glad things seem a bit brighter for you this morning @TangledWebofMincemeatDeception. And brighter days are definitely coming.

Glad that things seem a little brighter. @TangledWebofMincemeatDeception . I think lighting the candle is a great idea.

Clay pears will wait until you are more ready xxxx

I’ve added some “lights” to the Christmas tree for my daughters. The poppers were so fiddly- but it does mean that the strings of “lights” can be moved around. I’ve cut out my felt ornaments, and I’m hoping to get a chance to hand sew them tomorrow. I’m going to attach some with loops and buttons, and some with more poppers 🙄

@OKScarpetta thats ace! I don't suppose you've got time to add advent pockets too have you?

If your dd are old enough, you could use old unwanted fish hook type earrings as glitzy decorations?

That's fantastic @OKScarpetta !

@CuriousEats - I’ve got the fear with the advent pockets. I’ve pinned them several times and put them back away- so huge respect to @TheWoollybacksWife (perhaps I’ll try again as I’m off next week so have some time).

Love the earring idea, but will need to be a couple of years away as smallest is not yet 2, so she’d probably either try a piercing on herself or eat them!

Ouch no thats not going to go through her digestive system without a fight 😬
I don't know if I could be bothered myself tbh! Unless you got fabric glue...? Save all the hemming.

I’m rather excited for tomorrow morning. I inherited an old paper advent calendar that used to belong to my uncle. One of my favourite Christmas memories is being allowed to open the door every three days (I have two older siblings; imagine a child being asked to wait for 3 days now!).
It’s so old that the doors don’t close properly, but I love it.
This has been a beautiful thread so far. So much love going in to things and inspiration.