Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

These has been some prolific poncing today!

I have just got my 1st cake into the oven. Tomorrow I will make the 2nd (only have the one tin) as well as some pies for dinner and either shortbread or test mince pies if there’s spare pastry.

More importantly, I’ve managed to get DH to express a preference for Christmas so we can make a proper plan! He would rather be at home on the day and host visitors as and when - the theory is we can crack out a roast dinner with minimal fuss even with a brand new baby, it will be less stressful than being hosted at my parents!

@DanceWithYourBalloon I just used the Nigella one from her Christmas book. It was recommended on this thread. It comes up on google.

I halved it as not sure how popular it will be. I also blended the peppers and chillis to a pulp rather than finely chopped as I hate lumpy things.

[quote NoWordForFluffy]@DanceWithYourBalloon, I know you didn't ask me, but I've been making chilli jam for years (with homegrown chillies). This recipe gives me jam that everybody who has tried it keep begging me each year for more!

It's beautiful. 🌶😍[/quote]
That looks glorious! 😍🤩

@RubyFakeLips Thank you 😊

@DanceWithYourBalloon just realised huge error in what I told you. If you’re taking my advice, which is probably questionable, although I halved the liquid and sugar, I kept the ‘fruit’ quantity the same. I’ve made this before and found it a bit too strong on the vinegar otherwise.

@RubyFakeLips

I do have a tendency to go OTT!

Speculaas was meant to say Speculaas Liqueur. I might try some mince pies later as I misjudged my jars and I’ve got a bit leftover.

DH will probably injure himself eye rolling later.

That just cracked me up!

Quiet weekend here but over the course of the week I’ve managed cranberry and port stuffing which is an old favourite and the Mary Berry lemon and thyme stuffing that was recommended here.l (thank you to OP). I had to vacuum seal them and get them in to the freezer pronto as I kept eating them! Also made the Buttered rum Christmas cake One recipe does a big one for my elderly neighbours to share with their family and then a couple of small ones for me an my family.

Three year old daughter found the paper chain paper and remembered making them last year. Husband was fairly horrified to find us making paper chains at 6.30am on Wednesday!

Back poncing again today. Been to IKEA and they have Christmas bits in. Someone who mentioned not being able to have a tree, they are doing some scandi-modern things seemingly of wood and string that I’m sure could be tarted up nicely.

As I had a few bits left I’ve from my other poncing I decided to make Nigel Slaters Plum Chutney (think called Hot & Sweet, and definitely on google) which has been a previous success. I tried to make it festive and clear out the fridge at the same time by adding the flesh of an orange, a cooking apple and some dried cranberries instead of just raisins. Hopefully it’s a hit.

Have committed to making the test mince pies, I’m using Paul Hollywood pastry recipe which is very rich. Other recommendations welcome. Made the dough at 1am so DH thinks I’ve officially nuts. More fool him for marrying me.

Not very poncey weekend for me ! Was planning it but the weather is gorgeous where I am and wasn't in the mood for Christmas

This thread was a timely reminder that I needed to feed my Christmas cake so I've just given it a little bit of Jack Daniels (last feeding was with Amaretto.) I'm mixing up the alcohol both in the baking and with the feeding to hopefully give it a rounder flavour but at this rate I think it'll be almost flamabble by Christmas

No poncing at all done here just yet. But I now have all the ingredients for my cake so will get that started maybe today. I was supposed to be going away for a week from Wednesday but that’s delayed so I’ll do the cake and the marmalade gin.

Bought a Christmas magazine - the Your Home one. Flicked through it and saw a couple of things that looked easy enough to do.

Does anyone know how early is too early to dry out orange slices? I seem to have loads of oranges so thought I might dry some but worried they may not last?

Also spotted some lovely holly with berries overhanging our garden from the neighbours so have my eye on that.

Hello Poncers!🎄🎄🎄

@Peridot It’s not too early to dry oranges now. I did some last year for Christmas and they’re still fine now so I think you’ll be okay.

@FireworkParrot that’s what we do. I think IIRC last year we used rum, amaretto, whisky and brandy.

I've saved my dried oranges from last year they seem fine.

No real poncing for me this weekend either- have been really busy. But I did pop into the knitting and stitching show and spent far too much on wool! Still need to finish my old projects before I start anything else though!

I used to have a holly tree that had berries around now and they were always eaten by birds before December. I had to buy fake ones!

[quote HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule]@FireworkParrot that’s what we do. I think IIRC last year we used rum, amaretto, whisky and brandy.[/quote]
Snap! Although I didn't soak the fruit in whisky when I made it but used dark rum, amaretto and brandy. Last night I spotted the whiskey bottle so thought what the heck, I'll feed with some of that too.

I've just spent a happy day reading the thread having missed the start of it as our new rescue dog has been causing mayhem since he arrived .

I saw some mentions of christmas branches. We always had one growing up (DM is queen of the Christmas ponce) so I've carried on the tradition. We have a huge window looking out onto the conservatory which is where it hangs. I've amassed a collection of glass icicles and snowflakes over the years that hand on it. Even DH who rolls his eyes at most of my poncing says he likes it.

I made the first of my Christmas cards last week. The very first one was simple but, I thought, acceptable - until I tried to open it & found I'd glued the front onto the card a 90-degree turn out of where it should be. And that's 90-degrees towards the fold, so I couldn't even pretend it was meant to be a stand-it-with-the-fold-at-the-top design.

After that they got more ornate & were all properly aligned. So that's four down & ??? to go.

I've already sent one Christmas present, as it's an advent calendar that will go probably out of stock.

And here's some holly & ivy in my hedge.

Ohhhh @Bobbobbobbing that is beautifully dramatic!!😍

@ifIwerenotanandroid 😁 that’s so easy to do when caught up in cutting/designing/gluing!

Talking of cards...I’m probably going to have to stick to paper decorations for my cards this year as I’ve (predictably) gone and spent the stamps/paints budget on some perfect little wooden ornaments instead...🙄

I’ve got everything I need for cards except a glue stick which I can just about stretch to! Shame as I was really looking forward to having a go at stamping.

Thanks @HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule. Will give it a go.

Please don’t say that about the holly @UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername! I’ve no idea what I’m going to do with the holly and I spotted loads of ivy today so am hoping there will still be berries. Although thinking about it there weren’t any last year I don’t think. We only moved in in November and I think I looked.

Love that branch @Bobbobbobbing. Beautiful.

I was focused on Halloween crafts this weekend more than Christmas but I did make a start on my fairy tree-topper and traumatise them dc in the process. I’m usually very gentle with our dolls and teddies, never cramming them in boxes or anything like that, so sawing a pound shop Barbie in half and plucking out all her hair was a bit of a departure from the norm.

@thelegohooverer 😆

Not a huge amount of poncing done here other than crocheting snowflakes.

MIL only lives round the corner and has holly and ivy in her garden, I’ve also managed to spot bay and rosemary growing locally so will definitely be cutting some nearer the time. I’m struggling to find any boring background greenery other than conifer though, do you think holly, ivy, bay and rosemary would be enough for a wreath or should I just buy a basic artificial wreath to improve with fresh greenery?

@thelegohooverer

I was focused on Halloween crafts this weekend more than Christmas but I did make a start on my fairy tree-topper and traumatise them dc in the process. I’m usually very gentle with our dolls and teddies, never cramming them in boxes or anything like that, so sawing a pound shop Barbie in half and plucking out all her hair was a bit of a departure from the norm.

I'm dying to see her when she's finished!

cascayde.com/collections/christmas

This just popped up on my Instagram

Love the idea of seed paper gift tags and the tape. And the idea of make your own crackers

Gosh we have gone quiet.
My Sarah Raven bulbs are on their way!
I think I will start my Christmas cards this week. DD has offered me her lino print craft supplies so I will try that this year. I have a couple of designs in mind.
I have finished two gnomes for the girls Christmas boxes. I do them shoe boxes as they are from DH and me rather than stockings as we thought stockings would confuse the DGC ( who know FC brings stockings.
I do a new tree decoration for them every year.
Photo to follow as my knitting bag is in my car.