Janet & Roy mystery round-robin

[AndHarry]

Are we doing Janet & Roy this year? I haven't spotted a thread yet.

I have a nominee and am happy to send one from North Wales.

Here's the one I did last year

Dear Family and Friends,

We hope this letter finds you all in good health. Well what a busy 2013 we have had! February saw the much anticipated arrival of Isabelle Marie and Theodore Harley affectionately known as Izzy and Teddy! They weighed in at 5lb 10oz and 6lb 4oz respectively. The twins are now crawling and keeping Claire and Ian very busy!

Louise continues with her volunteer work and has spent most of the year in Mombasa working with underprivileged children. We are hoping that 2014 might be the year she finally meets Mr Right and settles down to have a family of her own.

In April we spent a delightful week in Rhodes which was most enjoyable with the exception of Roy having a bad allergic reaction to some shellfish.

In other news you will be pleased to hear that Janet has been elected Vice President of the Bridge Club. This is a long overdue but exciting opportunity and she is looking forward to getting stuck in and making some much needed changes! She also took Gold at the W.I. bake off with a stunning spiced apple cake with a pecan streusel topping— a firm family favourite!

Roy continues to work on his handicap and is pleased to be back on the golf course after several months off following surgery on his bunion.

On a sad note we lost our furry friend Dusty in October, he had been part of the family for almost nine years and had slowly been deteriorating over the course of the year. In the last few weeks he became incontinent and shampooing the carpets became a daily occurrence so we made the difficult decision to have him put to sleep (We have replaced afore mentioned carpets with a beautiful cream wool twist Axminster).

To help cheer us up after losing dear Dusty, we decided to treat ourselves to a weekend away in London. We went on the London Eye for the first time which was impressive, followed by a matinee showing of The Woman in Black at the Fortune Theatre which was truly fabulous. The following day we went to Claridge’s for afternoon tea which was fantastic. We even saw one of the Strictly Come Dancing professional dancers, his name escapes us but the one with the very white teeth and not so subtly dyed hair.

2014 will see us focussing on some home improvements. We are planning on replacing all the soffit boards and guttering in the spring and once the weather improves we are hoping to start work in the garden. Janet has some exciting plans and will be incorporating some of the beautiful features of the Zen gardens we saw in Japan in 2011. Installing a water feature and a wooden pagoda will be top priorities.

We wish you all a happy and peaceful Christmas and a healthy and prosperous New Year!

Best Wishes
Janet and Roy
xx

I'll happily write one from Surrey (not London). Pm me though rather than asking on this thread.

I can think of someone who it would be very funny to send to. They like to make out how terribly popular and everyone loves them, and their own letters are hilarious parodies of the worst show off you can imagine. I'm sure one year it will include meeting the Queen and her bowing to them and inviting them to become her new heirs.
Unfortunately they think people are delighted to receive them, and mean it totally. We dropped off their list one year for the letter because we didn't respond with the appropriate congratulations at one of their obviously exaggerated claims. We were obviously devastated. So they only have 199 to send now unless someone else has offended them.

However I couldn't admit to them as they wouldn't find it funny. So I think I better pass on that one.

My MIL would be very funny and would talk a lot about it, but I suspect my FIL would trig pretty quickly. He's quite perceptive on that sort of thing. Anyway he clearly suspected us when bil received 20 identical valentines with different handwriting and from different parts of the country. We were most insulted took quite a bit of coordination that did So I think we'd be first on his suspicions.

Love reading the ones you all sent last year!

This is mine....

Janet and Roy

Dear XXXXX

So sorry we did not send you our Xmas round robin last year, but life has been so busy!

Well, it has been a busy year for us and all the family. In January Roy finally retired and so the campervan has been getting a great workout every weekend as we travel around England. Roy was particularly fond of visiting Porthkerris.

In February Janet joined the local WI. The other members were especially pleased to have been given her new and improved recipe for lemon drizzle cake. They don't even bother to enter their own lemon drizzle cakes against Janet at the local county shows which says it all really!

March and April were a little quieter for us, but we did manage a cruise around the Med. We have had many happy evenings with friends regaling them with our home videos and Roy's home-made wine. Sorry you did not make our April viewing, but we managed to donate that extra quiche to our elderly neighbour. So win win!

In June we got a new kitchen. Janet continues to turn out delicious and healthy home cooked meals on a daily basis, and Roy has taken up swimming so that he can lose that extra half stone!

In July Roy had some troubles with his prostate that were soon sorted by his GP. It was not in any way related to 'that other business' and Janet is happy to report that she has forgiven Roy and the pair are stronger than ever.

In August Janet discovered that the tummy troubles that have plagued her were related to a wheat intolerance. We are pleased that as a result of Janet now adopting a gluten-free diet, that Roy has been able to move back into the master bedroom.

Our eldest Helen returned home in October and it is good to have her back. With a nice trousersuit the ankle tag really is barely visible and so we hope her job hunting prospects will be brighter in the New Year.

In November we were delighted to welcome our first grandchild into the world. Sadly, in December Colin was taken off the birth certificate due to an slight misunderstanding, but Charlene and little Baby Harry are always welcome in our home.

We are looking forward to a wonderful Family Christmas (except for Charlene and Baby Harry who will be in Watford) and a 2015 filled with more Great Adventures!

We shall be in your 'Neck Of The Woods' January 4 at about noon. We'll pop in for a cuppa. Decaf as usual for Roy!

Lots of love, Janet and Roy.

I'll do one from a London postmark. Did one last year under a different name. Works best sending a Janet and Roy RR to your typical middle class Margot and Jerry types with large social circles IMHO

I'd love someone to send one to my mum please, ideally in the northwest? I can send from Bristol/Somerset...

I would love to write one and love even more for my mum to get one!

Count me in - Durham.

I posted earlier but still really, really want to write one .

I did have a PM from someone asking me to do one, but haven't heard back with any details yet so not quite sure if they've changed their minds.

Even if they did still want one, I'm more than happy to do two! Please PM me if a South Staffs or Derbyshire postmark is of any use to you (or Birmingham) .

plipplops I can do one for you, am in Liverpool, just pm me

I'd love someone to do this for my in laws, they are so bleeding nosey this would keep them going for months guessing..... plus mil keeps all her christmas cards for the following year to put up on display again so it would be there forever . preferably close to northwest but too close or too far they wouldnt believe it.

A few years ago I did one from Beryl and Ern to the pil. I wrote it with my left hand so it looked a bit shaky.

Mil went on and on about it and finally concluded that it was from that nice couple they met on the Saga tour of the Pacific Northwest. Hee hee.

Oh please can someone from the North East write one for me?? PM me.

In return I will write one from Germany... I will drop in italicised expressions in German (which I don't speak) to show just how well I (and my precocious offspring, natch) have assimilated.

Oh I really need one of these for my mum... she is one of those people with ten gagillion friends. I am more than happy to write one as well. I'm in London... Please pair up with me!

I'd love to do one from Manchester/Cheshire if someone will send one to MIL?

I'm happy to do one from London - any takers?

Dear X,

Can you believe it's that time of year again already? The last 12 months has flown by - quite literally in some cases, with our many trips abroad! Jersey, Glasgow and Belfast have among the destinations for our short breaks this year - we're becoming quite the globetrotters. Thankfully we have refused to be put off by what happened with Roy at the hands of HMRC last year and are continuing to enjoy travelling where we can.

You'll be thrilled to know that Janet is still making her famous chutney, by popular demand. Not only does it taste lovely, it really makes use of the glut of tomatoes from the garden over the summer months, and there are few meals that aren't improved with a good dollop of the stuff. We'll drop you some more round when we pop over in the New Year, as you've probably long since used up the box we gave you last time!

Roy is still performing, although he keeps a much lower profile these days. He was thrilled to be chosen to be the Santa at our local Homebase this year, which is very exciting, and doesn't breach his current restrictions. Not only does he get to give something back to the local community, after their overwhelming support campaigning for him last year, but he also gets to make use of the staff discount for a short period, meaning we can stock up on woodstain to repaint the decking and summer house when the spring comes.

The children - well we call them children still, they're not children any more of course - are both well. Catherine's wedding to Mark was a beautiful day, we were upset you couldn't make it. Despite her cold feet beforehand, we are confident that we persuaded her to make right decision. Mark is a lovely young gentleman, and his expertise as a solicitor continues to be of great help. We literally don't know where we would be without him. Thomas still refuses to speak to us after the events of last year, but he always was pretty stubborn, even as a child, as you'll remember!

We hope you are both well and look forward to seeing you in the new year!

Janet and Roy

AndHarry, not to be a party pooper but (though I'm sure you'll proofread your letter before you send it) you have repeated yourself in one of the last paragraphs. I only mention this because your Roy would never make a mistake like that so it would lose some of its believability!!

Love this thread!

I noticed :o Janet has been in the G&T since poor Colin

These letters are brilliant. J&R will have a terrible reputation...

I'm happy to write from North Lanarkshire scotland

pretty could you do one for me please? All my family and inlaws are from your area!

These are fantastic . I'm not sure I could come up with anything half as good, but I might give it a try tonight.

I have a receipent in Scotland if anyone wants to send a card from Janet and whoever (not Roy cos that's his dad's name)

SantasLittleMonkeyButler I would love you do one for my mum and stepdad! Pref from South staffs way. I'm Dudley way if that's any use to you!? !

LaLoose can I help?