Childfree by choice but sad

[Tuftily]

Posted on the MNers without children board

I'm childfree by choice, but I feel immense sadness at the thought of not having a family when I'm older, and wondered if anyone can relate/reassure?

I'm absolutely not suited to being a mum to dependent children but I'm very lucky to be very close to my parents and siblings and love the relationship I have with them now we are all independent adults. Christmas always highlights how my life will differ from my parents' lives when I'm their age (late 60s).

It's literally the only thing which makes me wobble about having kids (although it's probably too late now and a terrible reason to have them!)

As some posters upthread have stated no everyone had a good relationship with their parents. I was always in the position of being the black sheep while my sister was the golden child. She chose to marry and have children. Fine. I neer wanted them. However I had no intention of being the default unmarried carer when my parents became elderly.

I came to a point in my mid 40s where my professional qualifications were becoming dated and my career was stagnating due to competition from younger graduates. So I made the decision to attend uni as a mature student which entailed a move to another city. I was also convenient to step back from close family involvement at that point. I enjoyed my time at uni and stayed on to do a masters and a doctorate. I almost immediately secured employment in the new city and became an academic. This also afforded the opportunity to travel and work in the USA and throughout the Middle East. I would never have got these opportunities had I decided to have children. Being child free opened up a whole new world to me.