Nanny playing radio loud during day

[thehuntress]

I want to know if my DH is being unreasonable. Our nanny is generally great with DD (2.6 years old). The issue is that he has come home two times recently while she was feeding her in the kitchen to find pop music blaring loudly on the radio. He doesn't think that our daughter should be listening to pop music on the radio at her age, particularly because of the DJ chatter which is usually mindless.

I don't feel as strongly about it, but think the music shouldn't be too loud as I generally want the nanny to be chatting, interacting with DD during dinner.

I think my DH's dislike also stems from the fact that he doesn't like pop music himself.

Do you think nanny would think we are overreacting and being strange if we ask her to not listen to the radio with DD around? That's really what we want, but I don't want to make nanny unhappy as in the whole scheme of things this is probably a small issue.

I would think if you asked her not to, she'd probably think you were slightly mad (in the nicest possible way!). I often have the radio on for background noise, but I know some people don't like that. Could you move the radio out, perhaps 'break it', or maybe get an MP3 player and docking station with some music already installed on it??

Maybe you could come to an agreement where maybe she can listen to it quietly when dd is playing happily by herself and nanny is just supervising, and not at dinner times or when nanny is reading/interacting with dd.

Or if you don't worry that it may cause a rift between you, tell her not to have radio on at all if thats ultimately what you and your husband want.

It is your daughter and you rules at the end of the day, and you should say how you want things to be.

Some employers, outside of the home, won't allow the radio to be on in the office etc, so you're not being unreasonable. If someones being paid to do a job, then it's just that, she's not in your home to do as she pleases and have a good time.

Good luck

I think that he is being unreasonable. If she was listening to music that was unsuitable (swearwords etc) then yes she should not listen to it. What music do you listen to at home? I would feel put out at being asked to stop listening to the radio. She is not going to pick up any bad habits by listening to a bit of Girls Aloud during the day. Is she listening to it the entire day? Maybe they get up and dance together.

I think if she is listening to Girls Aloud you have reason to doubt her good taste.

I think you are a tad bonkers if you want her to turn it off completely. If she is blaring the music so loud it might damage hearing then of course she should turn it down immediately. But, come on, you don't want your child exposed to pop music? Is your surname Windsor? Even Diana was a pop fan.

Our nanny plays country music (Chicago Country station on an internet radio so plenty of chatter and commercials) from the kitchen every morning. DH was not so keen on this when he heard it on Friday morning (he is not there Mon - Thurs). I , however, like hearing country music in the morning so I told him he was a stuffy old Englishman or something to that effect.

Besides, music can promote interaction between people. My kids (now 4 and 6) make specific song requests in the morning so they can dance to them together if there is time before the school run.

Thanks for the responses. I think it does sound a little over-the-top (and odd) to ask her not to listen to the radio. My DH's main concern is the type of music and how loud it is. But I've lived with this my whole relationship with him and had to 'adjust' my musical tastes.

I will perhaps have a word with nanny to ensure that it is in the 'background', and not distracting to DD or hindering their interaction. This will most likely satisfy DH. I didn't feel strong about it to be honest.

Thanks for all of the replies! Good to get other opinions.

Radio on in the background and not at mealtimes and reading / games times maybe?

Maybe ask that she also plays other stations like Classic.

Also depending on the station some play the full on song lyrics and not the sanitised version!

As a nanny I would be offended if my boss asked / told me not to play any type of music (tho I would never play offensive music while my charges were around - or ever actually ).

But I do have about 10 or so cds I play on a regular basis, sometimes quite loudly. The kids know all the words to the songs and enjoy singing along, sometimes requesting their favourites. Sometimes I put music on if they've been a handful and I need to relax before I move on to the tea/bed time routine part of the day.

I tried to imagine myself in the senario - one possible reason she could have had the radio up quite loud, she may have had a difficult day with DD - and needed some zone out time.

Also, I might just add, you place a lot of emphasis on your nanny interacting with your DD.

I think it is preferable for the nanny to be in a pleasant mood, and have a break from constant interaction if she needs one - rather than force herself and be semi-grumpy all day.

i would be very insulted and tbh rather pissed off if my mb/db told me i cant have the radio on - it is always on, one in kitchen and one in playroom - opposite ends of house

i cant stand a quiet house, and usually have the local radio station on

maybe a compromise can be to have the children channel on the radio - which we often have on as well

athene - i agree - my older two love pink and halo by beyonce as well as in for a kill, and we all oooooooooooooooo when we hear the song, and baby (1) is bopping away as well

mb likes radio 2, and i change her station in the morning and she changes it back in eve

TBH, if I don't have the radio on when my DS is eating (Radio 4 admittedly but then that's my personal taste), I'd go a bit spare. What level of interaction do you really have with a 2 year old when they're eating? They eat, you watch. They're not huge conversationalists at that age (and my DS needs to focus on eating - if I engage him in chat, he forgets to put the fork in his mouth).

I would have been seriously pissed off if my employer had said anything to me in these circumstances. Maybe volume is an issue but certainly not the station as long as it's not offensive. I don't think you can dictate what she has on either, i.e. force her to listen to Classic. Yes she is there to care for your dd and cater to her every whim but it's also her working environment and you have to have a little bit of personal freedom otherwise you'd go nuts. I don't see why it is an issue to have the radio on during the day? I do if I'm at home and I'm sure other parents do so why should it be different for a nanny?

I have been a nanny btw so talking from bith sides of the fence

Hmmm. As someone who themselves is hypersensitive to noise, I can definitely see where he's coming from. Too much noise CAN be overstimulating. I love having the house peaceful in the daytime, and then DP comes home for lunch and has the telly blaring and I can't bear it.

However, I realise I'm a big freak and in the minority. Just ask her to turn it down a bit? As a nanny she should understand that the noise may cause your DD to become overstimulated?

"As a nanny she should understand that the noise may cause your DD to become overstimulated?"

Is he actually complaining that the child is overstimulated though, or just that he doesn't like the nanny's taste?

If she has it on very loudly then I should think it would be fine to turn it down. I wonder if it's actually that loud though, or if the DH just saying that because he doesn't like pop.

At the risk of being strung up.................Is it not the nannies job to take care of the children, interact with them, basically do what has been agreed with the employer, is this not what she gets paid to do.

I find it more than a little odd that when people work with children they seem to think that this means they can do as please all day long, when they themselves will be the first to tell you that it is a proper job and they do actually work and work very hard.

To say as a nanny you would feel "put out" and "need time to relax" and "zone out time" is bizare!!! If a nanny of mine was continually "zone-ing out" then I'd get one that didn't.

Correct me if I'm wrong but don't parents take on a nanny to care for their child/children not to give them a comfortable place to hang out in doing as they please at the parents expense.

If you worked in an office would you be so quick to kick up a stick about not having the radio on?

And being "put out" is exactly why we get paid for jobs......it's called work for a reason.

FYI: I am also in childcare, so I do know what I'm talking about, but I do what the parents would like me to do.

I don't have the radio on to relax or zone out, I like to have background noise and it doesn't impede my work at all. And I agree with spicemonster - exactly what are you supposed to be doing to interact with a 2 year old who's eating, beyond a little bit of chat/encouragement? Having the radio on doesn't stop you doing that.

I wasn't refering to you.

What I'm trying to say is that the parents are your employers....so surely they have a say on what happens in their home whilst your with their children, it's just ridiculous.

Like I said you wouldn't be so quick to make all your demands if you worked in an office etc

What I was trying to say was that, rather than complaining about the nanny's choice in radio station, they could SAY they thought it was a bit loud and overstimulating.

Sorry, don't express myself too well. No brain left.

It's their house and their child. They are perfectly entitled to ask her to turn it down or off. I wouldn't be happy about my baby listening to, say, Radio 1, I find it unbearable these days, anymore than I would be happy for my baby to be plonked in front of Hollyoaks. It's personal taste.If the DH doesn't want his DD subjected to that kind of music, it's up to him!

I would guess though that its the same as any job - a reasonable request from your boss you'd go along with. However something that seems a bit odd is going to be met with some degree of bewilderment/pissed off-ness.

I'm a SAHM and always have the radio on in the day - switch between radio1 and radio4 so children get a broad education .

Sounds from OP that its just her DH is a bit odd regarding music. As long as its not gangsta-rap i'm not sure what the problem is really.

I guess i'd be wary of pissing of a nanny who i really rated over something that seems quite trivial.

im the same as limonchik - the radio is back ground noise to me, in an office you get other peoples chatter, in a house it is quiet, esp if have a small untalking child

obv you respect your mb/db views, as yes they are your employer, but if i was to be told i couldnt have the radio on, i would seriously consider leaving and to work for someone who wasnt that anal weird

Tell her to retune to Radio 3. That way your dh can relax in the knowledge that his lo's brain is being protected from the pernicious influence of pop music.

"But I've lived with this my whole relationship with him and had to 'adjust' my musical tastes."

Why?

would the op dh be happy with music on but a different station? or is it the fact music/noise is on?

is it really that loud?

you really changed your music tastes to please him?

some people like the quiet and peace - i guess i dont

I don't think it's particularly weird to not like pop music and not want it blaring over mealtimes tbh.There's nothing at all wrong with a bit of quiet, silence doesn't always have to be remedied.

But, like I said, I'm hypersensitive to noise, so am biased.

Perhaps she just doesn't realise it's loud? Individual tolerance levels vary quite dramatically.