Nanny playing radio loud during day

[thehuntress]

I want to know if my DH is being unreasonable. Our nanny is generally great with DD (2.6 years old). The issue is that he has come home two times recently while she was feeding her in the kitchen to find pop music blaring loudly on the radio. He doesn't think that our daughter should be listening to pop music on the radio at her age, particularly because of the DJ chatter which is usually mindless.

I don't feel as strongly about it, but think the music shouldn't be too loud as I generally want the nanny to be chatting, interacting with DD during dinner.

I think my DH's dislike also stems from the fact that he doesn't like pop music himself.

Do you think nanny would think we are overreacting and being strange if we ask her to not listen to the radio with DD around? That's really what we want, but I don't want to make nanny unhappy as in the whole scheme of things this is probably a small issue.

But tommypickles, to the nanny, it is a job. It might be your pfb or whatever and of course a nanny is there to do her/his job but we are all entitled to certain things in our working environment, be it 10 minutes to have a coffee mid morning, or time away from the computer if we work at a pc all day. I see the radio as part of that tiny bit of freedom at work and you do get that in an office. It's unreasonable to demand that every moment of a nanny's day should be dictated by the employer.

I don't want to sound sexist but i 've noticed that is usually dads who say things like this. Did he ever do full time childcare? If so does he 'interacts' with dd 12 hours non stop? Anyway as others said music IS interaction and some dancing around the kitchen table is fun.

Those who compare nannying with office job, i ll say that if you want to compare it then imagine your nanny telling you 'i'm going to sturbucks for half hour. on my own'. Of course she wont! I could give you a list of 100 other differences. Yes they are both jobs, but very different to each other.

I wouldn't want my DC's to listen to certain radio stations - more to do with the 'presenters' rather than the music - although I'd never heard the unedited version of a Lilly Allen song until my APs boyfriend was playing it loudly in the car .

I, personally, cannot see a problem with pop music, both my DCs are (and have been all their lives) exposed from everything from opera to pop - I know which they prefer!

I wouldn't want it so loud that conversation couldn't take place, mealtimes are social encounters. We save loud music for singing in the car at tops of voices.

I don't think it's about nanny's rights to sit down, relax, or anything else. I would never stand up in the middle of the day and say "I'm off to Starbuck's. Back in 30." That's crazy.

But...

I do think it is just common courtesy to let the nanny get on with the job you hired her to do. I think you have to choose your battles or you could spend your whole day picking apart the nanny's performance because it's not exactly as you would do it. But, I think that if you want this level of control over your child's day then this whole work full-time put DD in childcare is probably not for you. Sometimes you hae to step back and let nanny do it her way just because everyone (including butnot limited to nanny) will be happier.

To me, pop music is not a battle I would choose to take on. Now if she was feeding my kids junk food first thing in the morning, now that is a battle in which I would engage.

I guess it depends what is important to you. Just don't fight every battle or you'll be looking for a new nanny (often).

I know Lacquitar. I have done both and, of course they are very different, but it's still a working environment. Of course a nanny can't get up and go to Starbucks and actually I'd love to work in the office that you vould get away with doing that. But you are still entitle to a certain amount of (if tiny) breaks in your working day. Otherwise you are working as I was from 7.45am till 7pm. Are you saying that every second of that time should be given over to interaction with the child? That's ridiculous. So you find what works in your situation and, as Athene says, pick your battles.

I agree with both.

Also the word ' interaction' it there to make parents and childcarers constantly guilty.
As if you should read books or count for 12 hrs. In my book dancing a bit in the kitcen -to any type of music- is a very good interaction ( fun, co-ordination, exercise...[wink).

Wow, I never realised that this would produce so much debate.

I think choosing your battles is definitely a factor here. Nanny is great, so I don't want to appear demanding or unreasonable. So I won't be banning the radio or anything like that. I do think that loud music of any kind can be overstimulating to a toddler, especially at dinner where she is unwinding from her day with bath and bedtime to follow. So I will make a comment to her about that.

My DH's main beef was the talk on the radio, not the pop music (although he doesn't like that either). And Blondes, I don't know if you have a DH, but there are always compromises in any relationship. I always had a broad taste in music so it's not that big of deal to not listen to pop music around DH. In fact, I see it as more of broadening my horizons, as now I know much more about classical music that I ever did before. But of course, I still listen to pop at the gym, etc... Maybe it was my wording that made you make that comment, but I appreciate your concern that I have compromised my 'musical' values for the sake of a man.

And for what it is worth, I think comparing a nanny job to any other job is not really a good comparison. Although I do think that some nannies don't appreciate that some of the perks they get compared to other jobs fare very well.

the huntrees....

yes our perks may be good... (today i was paid to spend the afternoon in my bikini eating ice lollies playimg in the pool and sprinkler)..
but the "opposite of perks (word has left my head at the moment) are extream too...who else works 12 hours with NO BREAK at all, often even being accompanied to go to the loo?....

BUT in answer to your OP i dont think its unreasonable... it wouldnt even occur to me to tune into the radio while the children are present (except for fun kids and ceebeies on bbc radio 7; even in the car we have our kids CD's (or musicals such as Joseph / Mama Mia! or Disney)

my charges (unless ill or an extranous circumstance) do not watch TV at all (before bath), and would NEVER have it on while eating (its one of my pet hates) and equally when we are listening to the radio it is off at meal times. (we pause it)

I DO NOT thing YABU to ask her to turn it down and actually i dont think u would be unreasonable to ask her to turn it right off (and am surprised that so many people think you are)

I would like to clarify. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking her to turn it down or even off at meal time or wind down before bedtime. I just thought it would be a bit unresaonable to say never ever listen to it.

And... I don't know what they were listening to. If it was Johnathan Brand than I'm sure I would agree with banning it.

Russell even???

Or do you mean Ross???

Actually - a combination of those 2 would be a complete nightmare!!!

I banned all radio/background noise when DS1 was born. I'd read that background noise can interfere with speach development. I think DH was probably a tad annoyed, and thought I was a bit bonkers, but went along with it. I still wont' have the radio on during breakfast etc.

I think you'd be quite reasonable to ask your nanny not to paly the radio during meal,but to wait untill she's clearing away. She'll probably think you're bonkers, but will probably go along with it, especially if you mention the language development side of things.

Baby Talk by Dr Sally Ward has something in it it about the negative effects of background noise.

Or you could just "loose" the radio.

Is it Russell? I'm obviously out of touch. I mean the twonk who called Anrdew Sachs (and I do have that name right because I love Fawlty Towers).

Anrdew?

At no point did I say that being a nanny was like an office job..........I was simply pointing out that if you have a job to do......you have a job to do, and if your employer has certain rules etc then they're to be followed.

Sometimes it's pointless saying anything on here because people choose to deliberatly miss read posts to start a row.

OP was should she ask nanny to lose the radio, that soon turned into a personal attack on her husband and how weak willed she must be to give up pop, oh what a loss, now people are saying I compared office work to nannying .

Even the OP'er has turned on me, the first person to defend her...........what a world!!

You all talk about choosing your battles..............

'Wow i never realised that this would produce so much debate'.

I love it when people start a thread - that contains few debatable points - and then say this. And also finish the second post by adding nicely 'i do think that some nannies don't appreciate that some of the perks they get compared to other jobs very well'. Now you will be surprised if people debate this?

Tommy no need to get so angry. It is just a debate. And nobody attacked her dh.

yes im married and yes obv i compromise-what is his is mine and what is mine is mine

seriously though i would object to being told what i could listen to, if just a normal radio station, regarless if i am a nanny or at home by my dh

though i did say at work i do have kids station on as well as my music station, and often in car i put on kids music cd or a story tape and both 3 and 6yr ask for radio and then we all bop

what perks does a nanny get?

yes we may sit in garden/park in the sun a few times, but i also get soaked 9,12 and 3 many days

obv i love being a nanny, and love my family - been with them 3 years - so we must compliment each other

jonathan brand- russel ross - pmsl athene

Blondes how come your dcs ask you for the radio? Did they develope speech with all that music they ve been exposed to?

must be

and sometimes i have to flip through preset channels to find pink/beyonce or at moment fav group for 3yr boy is pussycat dolls

db says he is starting young!!!

If my boss told me to turn the radio off due to background noise/speech development I would go but of course do it - probably not worth leaving a job over and some parents do have these little "quirks".

When I pick the children up from nursery/school they have been known to tell me to stop talking to them so that they can listen to the radio

And as limonchik says if I was asked not to have the radio on I would be but would respect their wishes and do as they say - after all their children, their rules and their money that pays my wages I would always respect what my bosses want me to do/not to do (within reason, of course).