QUICK...URGENT AP HELP NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ingles2]

so after my rant last week about AP crashing the car, I talked to her about it very reasonably and calmly on Fri for 2 hours. I thought wehad sorted it. The only points I really raised were that I thought it was rude of her to not apologise at any point, and that I would like her to contribute to the excess. the car is a write off,... £1200 of damage. her fault.
I did notraise my voiceand told her that I knew it was an accident.
She has just told me...
that she wants to leave as she doesn't see why she should take any responsibility for the car. I insure it for her and therefore my problem. She will not contribute towards excess and how dare I tell her she is rude for not saying sorry.
She has just been shouting at me for 10 minutes. I have walked away so I don't raise my voice.
I'm am totally shaking.....
What do I do?????
HELP!!!!!!!!!

my dh is a meany as well - he refushed to move to Kent just so we could employ the cleaner.

Gumtree has just given me an AP local who sounds promising but APW is absolutely rubbish. Mind you this AP was honest in stating that she was a smoker - something more than "current" AP was - turns out she is a smoker as well.

Talking of current AP, I don't know how I haven't sacked her - dh is fuming. I've found her blog and in it she calls me a stupid witch (and says that dh has called me this which he never has), is racist towards dd's classmates, and I'm stingy and have a bad figure. I wouldn't mind but she wouldn't have seen my figure if she hadn't fainted on me and I had to dash downstairs in my underwear to revive her. If someone else had written that in a thread asking for advice, I would have said sack her. But I'm laughing about it - I've actually posted on her blog in her native language saying "haha APname I like your sense of humour. Kisses MrsR".

Also, the entry for her first day here, she said the English were insane and we reproduce like mad as there are no old people to look after the kids so they do this out of boredom.

I love it Mrs R , good for you, I'd love to see her face when she reads your comment! - how on earth did you find her blog?

I've still got all fingers crossed for you Ingles. Our Hungarian is still good news, a bit over-conscientious with dcs probably because she's working out what I'm OK with them doing, but I'd rather that than anything else. The house on the other hand hasn't been so clean in years ...! I've realised that if the ap hasn't irritated me in the first 24-48 hours then we're probably OK. Not sure what that says about me and my tolerance levels ....

Excuse, MrsR, can you please e-mail me a link to her blog. I'd like to have a bit of fun as well.

I found out about it as dh said she is known by so many different first names, I wanted to delve a bit more. On her laptop her msn log-in (which she'd never given me!) had a link to this webpage. I'm thinking about taking this one step further and, with dh in on it, calling a meeting between both of them and saying that I am leaving him as he obviously thinks nothing of me if he calls me a Stupid Witch. Not sure I can keep my face straight though. Wonder what her reaction would be - she is scared of dh (won't even tell him to put th dishwasher on!).

dh had the suggestion of all of mumsnetters adding a comment, so you are with him there micra! I will email you.

oh cloudberry, the gumtree one I'm considering is Hungarian as well - sounds good, I could do with a clean house, happy kids and an even happier me!

no e-mail yet. tap tap tap....

sorry our servers are down at the mo and have to deal with getting them back up for all users.

You went through her computer behind her back to find her msn log in?

no don't be stupid - she left it on the sofa (next to dh!) open wide and logged into msn and her name was different to the one that we knew her by so we wanted to know why. I only saw the link to her blog on her log on (a quick glance!).

Oh, you were admirably restrained, MrsR. Quite unlike Mr Jura who checks the internet logs.

Ooo I'll post a message Mrs R!
She sounds like a total cow! Sack her! I'd probably laugh at the witch comments but I couldn't be doing with the racism.
Anyway, Clouds lovely lady might have found me an AP!!! And it's a BOY!!! I'd said I'd never have one of those again, but then at least, I'd never have to listen to the boyfriend problems
he's italian, 23, a designer which is good,(same sort of field as us), into fantasy role play and comics (even better so is my 8 yr old) and he has a 9yr old sister who is severely disabled so is used to working at home.
Keep your fingers tightly crossed for me!

That sounds really promising Ingles

23 year old italian - yummy! (Equal opportunities and all that - why should Dads get all the eye candy LOL) (sorry if inappropriate)

I'm definitely moving to Kent now and doing an AP share with you ingles. Fingers crossed, I really hope all turns out ok - he does sound wonderful though.

Oh no, I'm not sacking her, I'm planning on a playdate with a few of dds lovely ethnic friends and will get AP to pick them up from school. Hahaha

Shall I CAT you for a link - don't want to do it online as it gives photos of our house and Street which apparently her natives find strange as the houses are all the same.

OOh MrsR - would you like to borrow DS for her to look after! Blimey if she thought your figure was bad, what would she ahve thought of mine!!!

Go for it Mrs R! wicked

KC - what a brilliant idea - when is he next free?

I am such a Wicked Witch aren't I - shame someone else has that name

Ingles, great news! Will be inviting ourselves round to ogle play forthwith!

MrsR what exactly were you googling when you came across that advert for the naked cleaner ?

Can't believe the blog, silly girl how very rude.

always free for free babysitting Was your van alright in the storms?

No news from SJ as yet so it looks like it must have survived. It's amazing whatever weather happens in the UK, that part of England never seems to get it.

Oh dear, sounds awful, get shut of her immediately and tell her that she cannot take her belongings until she's agreed to pay the excess.

Don't pay her either. Do you have any family who could help out in an emergency such as this, maybe come for the week?

so a quick update on the current situaton..
talked (in the loosest sense of the term) to the italian boy today. I thought he seemed lovely but couldn't be sure as he didn't speak a word of English!
ok that's not true he could speak a few words, but not put them into a sentence.
I think he'd probably be great for someone who stays at home, just not me.
(even bigger sigh than ever...)
Agency doesn't have anyone else at the mo!
(back to trawling the AP sites)

sorry to hear that ingles2. Hang in there. I am sending you positive vibes. I have always felt that finding the right aupair is like looking for a lover, the match has to be just so, the whole process of convincing someone to live with you almost like courtship. I hope someone suitable comes along soon.

Thanks blueshoes

so there's a cute young italian designer going spare?! I don;t need an au pair but do you think he'd come and stay anyway?