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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Dissagrement with partner re pain relief

84 replies

spacecat · 01/09/2009 12:07

My partner thinks I should go without pain relief in labour so that I can experience what something feels like to be 'hard won'. I had an epidural for the last birth (after 9 hours of going without anything). I am stressed about the pain of childbirth enough without having to feel bad if I do go down route of having pain relief. Any suggestions as to what to say to him/approach this?

OP posts:
FlamingoBingo · 01/09/2009 12:08

It's not up to him, it's up to you. Just be honest with him. Tell him you're worried about feeling bad for having pain relief when that is what you feel you will need.

ArizonaBarker · 01/09/2009 12:09

Tell him you will happily go without p;ain relief after you have kicked him repeatadly in the testicles, then peeled them and dipped them in vinegar.

Really, he has no say in what you do in childbirth.

Is he insane??

lal123 · 01/09/2009 12:09

lol tell him he's an arse, that pain relief is YOUR decision, and htat he's an arse again

liahgen · 01/09/2009 12:09

What????

Let him birth the baby then without pain relief

If you want to and can go it alone, (pain relief) then great, If you want and/or need pain relief then great too.

Jeez what is it with men sometimes? He needs a good talking to.

welshdeb · 01/09/2009 12:12

Tell him to f right off. He has no idea what childbirth will ever be like and stressing you out like this is totally unreasonable.
The only thing you should agree to is to go with the flow, Second labour you may not need anything more than a whiff of G&A but you might not and to go around ruling things out in advance is just mad.

Buda · 01/09/2009 12:12

He said WHAT??????????????????????

expatinscotland · 01/09/2009 12:13

Tell him to go to fuck. Seriously.

NorbertDentressangle · 01/09/2009 12:13

Sorry, but I'm that he feels he can have such an input into this.

You are the one physically giving birth, you are the one going through the pain so you^ are the one that choses what pain relief is required.

Do not feel bad about having pain relief.

Put it to him like this -How would he feel, for example, if you told him he couldn't have pain relief whilst he was writhing on the floor in agony with kidney stones, telling him he just needs to pass them out of his system.

colditz · 01/09/2009 12:14

Ban him from the labour ward. Then fucking leave him.

he must really hate you, to wish such pain upon you.

potplant · 01/09/2009 12:15

WTF does 'hard won' mean? You'll love the baby more because it was more painful.
What is he on?

pooka · 01/09/2009 12:16

I'm thinking that you could do with a couple of bricks, his testicles and a means of squeezing them during each contraction. That way he too gets to comprehend the worth of something being hard won. Think what a bonding experience it would be.

Tell him to fuck right off. And if he cannot promise to be supportive of your need (if that is the case) for pain relief during labour, get a different birthing partner.

aGalChangedHerName · 01/09/2009 12:17

This must be a joke???

Get a doula and leave the fucker!! This is your partner who loves and cares for you?

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 01/09/2009 12:17

WHo is he to say what you need to experience, ffs.

If you want pain relief - have it.

IWishIWasAFrog · 01/09/2009 12:19

Hard won? Is he for real? The him to &^( off.

Your labour, your pain, your decision. If those are his sentiments, would you want him for a birth partner? Hardly supportive.

Best wishes for your labour.

itwasntme · 01/09/2009 12:19

My god, what an utter wanker.

He has NO say in the matter. And he is an arse for thinking he does and making you feel bad about this. As if you have nothing else to think about....

Tosser.

IWishIWasAFrog · 01/09/2009 12:20

PLEASE show him this thread (everyone's reactions) and let us know what he says!

JodieO · 01/09/2009 12:24

He's mad!! Tell him that when he gives birth he can choose the pain relief, until then tell him to shut the fuck up. Dp just said tell him to eat a watermelon and shit it out whole without pain relief and then hit him in the bollocks with a hammer, lol.

l39 · 01/09/2009 12:27

Is this man a moron? How is he going to appreciate the baby without intense suffering, then? Is he ordering a torture machine for himself to use while you're in labour?

MrsGladpuss · 01/09/2009 12:27

I think you should do it.

Right after he's shat a grapefruit.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/09/2009 12:29

Not really?

What on earth would possess him to say something like that?

Bucharest · 01/09/2009 12:29

Not a fecking grapefruit, a sofa. One of those with the reclining seat jobbies fully reclined. Out of the end of his willy. With every Mner in the land watching. And laughing.

MrsGladpuss · 01/09/2009 12:30

Rofl at Bucharest

pasturesnew · 01/09/2009 12:30

is he a scientologist? are you Katie Holmes?

TigerFeet · 01/09/2009 12:33

Fucking hell what a dick

Ask him what he's going to go through so that he knows what it is like for something to be hard won

It may be that you decide yourself that you don't want pain relief. But that's your decision, to be taken on the day, depending on how you feel.

Alternatively, every time you have a contraction, kick him in the bollocks.

norktasticninja · 01/09/2009 12:33

I really enjoyed my drug free labour with DS but it was my call, I'd have been furious if DP had tried to influence my decision.

Tell your DP to stop pressuring you. It's totally out of order and must be making you feel really stressed. Show him this thread if you can.

How you choose to use pain relief is entirely up to you. Do what works best for you at the time be that the full works, nothing or something in between.