Views on in laws being annoyed you haven’t taken newborn round in a week and don’t want to pass the baby around

[makeupgirlie]

So everyone met the baby and held her within days of her being born. Everyone as also seen her since. As her parents at the moment we don’t want everyone holding her and passing her around. The in laws are annoyed by this and keep requesting to see her and hold her. She’s only 5 weeks old. Anyway as her mother I have had recent comments off my other half’s dad in a not very nice tone ‘I’m due a cuddle you know’ same with his sister. We have spoken to them that we would like some time to bond as a new family and that when we feel comfortable people can start holding her again. She also hasn’t had a vaccines yet and has been a little poorly recently. I’m starting to feel a lot of pressure off them and when my partner goes to his dads and the baby isn’t there he gets annoyed at him. It’s only the past week we haven’t taken the baby round…

Touching the baby when it is sleeping, and refusing to wash hands when their immune system is so immature is really disrespectful . I wish people would treat babies like humans, not shiny new toys to be grabbed at and passed around.

However its only on MN that bonding is something which can’t happen if other people are around. I find the notion that we need exclusive control/contact to form a bond with your new baby to be frankly weird and cultish and certainly not evidenced by any data.

That exclusivity over newborns is a very MN thing which I’ve never heard outside this forum.

Hands off now might be hands off later when you need help. Works both ways. Grandparents might get the message they aren’t that important to you. I’d try and find a middle way and be glad they take an interest in your baby possession.

It never crossed my mind not to be generous with my baby DD. Passing a baby around is a simple thing new parents can do to make others happy. However, snidey comments from your in-laws need to be nipped in the bud by your DH.

Your baby, your rules! My in laws came over uninvited just hours after we got home from hospital. They took baby and wouldn’t give him back for hours even when he was crying. We are very low contact now and didn’t pass him around my family

@HappyBlueDonkey Unfortunately it could be my life my rules as a grandparent when help is asked for! It’s high risk.

Yes there are so many posts on Mumsnet about why the grandparents aren't helping. Share your baby with the family. It's what humans do. You will benefit. Your baby will benefit