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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Tearing - tell me it’s not that bad!

94 replies

PinkFizz1 · 09/09/2021 14:53

I will be starting to TTC #1 very soon and have been watching all the baby programmes for homework 😂 but every time a woman tears and has to be stitched afterwards it really really cringes me out, for want of a better phrase.

It looks horrific and worse than childbirth. Honestly every time I see it it makes me have quick second thoughts about the whole thing. Please can someone who has had a childbirth tear/stitches etc give me some positive stories!!

OP posts:

Didyousaynutella · 09/09/2021 14:54

I can’t but can tell you how great the section was for the second two kids.

SW1amp · 09/09/2021 14:55

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but no positive stories to tell here…

Justmuddlingalong · 09/09/2021 14:56

I had a slight tear with my first. Not enough to need any stitches. Stung like hell when peeing for a few days. I went on to have another 2, large babies and had no tears at all. Hope that reassures you a bit.

QuitMoaning · 09/09/2021 15:00

I had a tear and was stitched but I was oblivious to it as I had an epidural. It really was not a big deal.

20 years later I had to think for a minute as to whether I had one and the only reason I know about it is the bizarre conversation with the Dr who was stitching me up (using my formal title - Mrs Smith - which seemed a bit odd considering what she was looking at 🤣🤣)

mobear · 09/09/2021 15:01

I was also terrified of tearing. When I had DC I had an epidural, and did tear, but I only needed a few stitches (done while the epidural was still working) and apart from stinging when peeing for a few days I would not have known I had stitches.

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/09/2021 15:02

I tore for three of my DC. The first was the worst...3rd degree tear.
The plus side is that while you feel yourself tearing, there is no pain when it happens because the pressure of the baby’s head numbs everything down there. Imagine sitting on your hand for two hours...you’re that numb.
After the baby is born, you start to get feeling back, but they usually give you a jab of local anaesthesia before stitching you up. So that part is pretty painless.
The real pain is the days and weeks after while recovering, using the loo and starting to move about (gingerly). I found sitz baths to be my half hour a day of pain free heaven and also they are recommended to speed up the healing process.
My other two were second degree tears along the scar from the first baby. That was much easier recovery as no internal stitches. Again, no pain when it happened, just during recovery.
My fourth baby, no tear at all. :)

Auroreforet · 09/09/2021 15:03

When you are tearing you don't feel it.
A good doctor will stitch you up well. I had gas and air whilst being sewn and some local anaesthetic.
It looks a lot worse than it is.

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/09/2021 15:03

Oh, my births were all with zero pain medication just for information, as I see others are mentioning their epidurals.

ItsSunnyOutside · 09/09/2021 15:09

I had a tear but the doctor did such a good job of stitching it up, I never felt any pain during or afterwards! I only knew it was there as I could feel a raised bit. It's worth noting I had a epidural (after a 2 day induction!)
Of course, everyone is different, but it was not an issue for me.

Original poster

PinkFizz1 · 09/09/2021 15:09

Thank you all for your experiences!

I must admit I’m terrified of tearing but the logical part of my brain is saying women wouldn’t keep having babies if it was so horrific. It still baffles me that another human being can come out of there let alone it getting all torn and then sewn up, sounds like a horror film 😂

OP posts:

Tal45 · 09/09/2021 15:10

They had to decide whether to take me in the operating theatre or not - couldn't decide if it was 3rd degree or not. Didn't in the end but it wasn't couldn't sit on our firm sofa for several weeks and had to bring a mattress downstairs. Mind you none of it compared to the complete horror of sleep deprivation. It's the sleep deprivation that stopped me considering having any more.

Tal45 · 09/09/2021 15:11

*but it wasn't nice

Oodlesofdoodlescockapoodles · 09/09/2021 15:12

Didn't notice any tearing at the time. Had some small second degree tears both times, one which took a long time to heal and kept reopening (sorry) BUT it just stung a bit and they never needed stitches so, although some women unfortunately do suffer badly, its not inevitable. Please don't worry!

kitkatsky · 09/09/2021 15:13

I had no idea at the time I was tearing and they let me keep the gas and air for the stitches so I didn't care!

clouds56 · 09/09/2021 15:23

I have had 2 children teared both times first tear was 2nd degree and second tear was 3rd degree. I had a spinal block for both when they were stitching me up so felt no pain at all. It was sore afterwards but nothing awful still managed to wee and poo fine and healed well with both. I spoke to my friend who gave birth at a similar time to me and also tore and said I had been expecting it to be much worse than it was from what I'd heard from others and she agreed as she also had had no problems or pain (she was also stitched back up under a spinal block though).

mobear · 09/09/2021 15:24

@PinkFizz1 I think we have evolved to forget incredibly swiftly! I remember when I was in labour thinking, 'Well, I'm not doing this again!', and within six weeks I couldn't remember why I didn't want to.

rosesandsalvia · 09/09/2021 15:24

I had a third degree tear with my first, it was a fast labour and he had a massive head. I don't remember it being painful at the time, perhaps a bit stingy after. It was stitched up in theatre with a spinal, so I didn't feel a thing. Recovery was probably 4-6 weeks to feel things were back to normal, which would be the same with a c-section.

Caspianberg · 09/09/2021 15:29

I was cut as baby heart rate dropped. They said it was small cut, was stitched after with local by consultant. Was fine. No pain after, stitches dissolved themselves after 1-2 weeks. No issues sitting or walking afterwards. A year on and it’s all back to normal (I think). Baby was 8lb8.

Nillynally · 09/09/2021 15:30

Two words: perineal massage
I ended up being cut because I had emergency forceps, it stung a bit for a few weeks but was ok. I worried about it way too much too but honestly you've just passed a watermelon through your fanny a little tear is fine.

orinocosfavoritecake · 09/09/2021 15:32

2nd degree tears both times. Stitching with gas & air. It was - honestly - not that big a deal. And I’m very very far from brave.

HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur · 09/09/2021 15:32

I had stitches for a tear, the gas and air meant it really didn't bother me all that much to be honest. Had a nice chat with my nurse about cross stitch! It was sometimes painful for a bit afterwards but I soon learnt to keep on the painkillers and to use a warm water jug when using the bathroom.

FfrothiCoffi · 09/09/2021 15:32

I tore with my first but honestly, it wasn’t a noteworthy part of the whole experience. I was stitched with a local anaesthetic (as I hadn’t had any pain relief for the birth) and they healed well. I didn’t tear with my second and third.

Mindymomo · 09/09/2021 15:33

I didn’t tear, but was cut, sorry if TMI. It was my first birth and just went along with what was recommended. By the time my son was born, I would have had done anything, apparently I was very near to having a C section. There were around 20 people in delivery suite, again I thought normal. Consultant took nearly an hour stitching me up. The next morning, I was helped to the toilet but left alone, I bled a lot and there were clots, but I didn’t call anyone. Thinking back I really should have given the amount of blood I lost. Baby was in special care, just for sugar levels, but I got myself there to see him as soon as I could. I was checked twice a day and stayed in for 4 nights, was able to have baths and didn’t need any pain relief. When I got home I bathed twice a day and midwife called every other day for a week. I did put off my 6 week check up as there was no way I could have had an internal examination, but it was fine 2 weeks after.

My second son was born normal. I went in at 1.30 pm and he was born at 3.15 pm with just a midwife and gas and air.

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 09/09/2021 15:33

I had a tear, did not feel it, got stitched up nicely, did not feel it. It healed fine and easy

No issue here

Marikali · 09/09/2021 15:35

I tore with all 3 of my children. I didnt know until I was told. Took ages to heal with m first. 2nd and 3rd times it was very straightforward. Really wasn't a big deal. Please don't worry. Certainly at the moment your babies head is crowning you are flooded with so many endorphins/ /hormones that it I highly doubt you will be focussing on it.

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