Tearing - tell me it’s not that bad!

[PinkFizz1]

I will be starting to TTC #1 very soon and have been watching all the baby programmes for homework 😂 but every time a woman tears and has to be stitched afterwards it really really cringes me out, for want of a better phrase.

It looks horrific and worse than childbirth. Honestly every time I see it it makes me have quick second thoughts about the whole thing. Please can someone who has had a childbirth tear/stitches etc give me some positive stories!!

Pregnant with my first so no tearing stories yet, but look into ways to reduce tearing during labour!

You can do perineal massage in the weeks leading up to birth, then try to give birth in an upright position (lying on your back is the worst), don't rush if you can take it slow, and have a midwife use warm compresses and support the perineum during birth ('hands on birth').

Also remember tearing is more common with the first birth, so hopefully any tearing you DO have, it will probably be better if you have any subsequent children

I didn't tear but had a small episiotomy which was stitched up neatly. It wasn't a problem. Obviously the stitches 'pull' and are a bit sore but not for long. Practically everyone I've known has had stitches and the only person who had problems was because her bum was stitched too! Yes, honestly, you couldn't make it up. However that is really not likely to happen.

Not everyone tears or needs to be cut. You may not. There's no point worrying about something like that in advance and if it does happen, it might not be too bad.

Good luck.

@orinocosfavoritecake

2nd degree tears both times. Stitching with gas & air. It was - honestly - not that big a deal. And I’m very very far from brave.

I've only had the one, but this was my exact experience. Only knew I'd torn when they told me.

To be honest, the 'roids I had a few days after the birth hurt more than the stitches. The blood flow in that area assists fast healing, it was fine, really.

Have had 4dc and never had a tear thankfully. It was one of my biggest worries when pregnant (other than my baby not being ok). Always found it odd that it was never mentioned or discussed by any midwife.

@kitkatsky

I had no idea at the time I was tearing and they let me keep the gas and air for the stitches so I didn't care!

I came on to say the same - I didn't realise I had tearing (apparently a lot of blood my DH reports but I didn't see!) - I was only looking at the baby! But being able to have gas and air for longer was a bonus!

First baby: was terrified of tearing. 3rd degree tear (cried when they told me!!) stitched up v well in theatre. Recovery absolutely fine no pain whatsoever

Second baby: second degree tear stitched up by midwife. I was a complete wuss and hated every second of being stitched up but I kept the gas and air, got so high I didn’t care what they did! Refused the student stitching me (who was shaking like a leaf getting all the things ready) and asked for the other midwife to do it. Recovery also fine. Bit sore for a few days but that might also just have been because a 9lb 7oz baby had come out of me.

What I will say is, please try to get past the fear because in childbirth, fear is the enemy! It could make you tense up and actually make tearing more likely.

But honestly, it was fine. You can do it. Vaginas are amazing in how much they can stretch and how wel they can heal!

PS Stop watching these programmes! Remember they only show the more dramatic events!! Good Luck!

I tore with both, first hospital and second home. You honestly don't feel it! I was stitched the first time but chose not to the second and I healed much quicker and less sore afterwards not being stitched.

Fast labour with a big baby, I had a 2nd degree tear on the worse end. Don't think I felt it at the time or after, I was in the pool for and after I was injected and allowed to polish off another tank of gas and air. Recovery was sore for a week or two and then fine and now, although there is a little scarring, it's virtually unnoticeable. I was petrified of it happening and it turned out to be a pretty minor side effect. The major side effect just unceremoniously puked on my pillow...

Just coming on to give an alternative perspective…I had two huge babies (largest was 10lb 7oz) and didn’t tear either time. I did practice perineal massage beforehand and I had the slowest / longest latent labours (4 day build up each time ) but then a really fast pushing phase (20 and 12mins respectively)

Just get an epidural then you won't feel it!

2nd degree tear with both my babies that were born vaginally. I think the worst part was when the drs put their fingers up my bum hole to make sure I'd not torn through 😂 daughter was 7lb 7oz and son was 9lb 1oz. The healing afterwards was harder than the actual tearing. And with my son I got an anal fissure after all the pushing - that hurt like a b*tch!! Like pooing razor blades 😂

I'm case of anal fissure, as a PP has mentioned it - I'm using cream called Neofitoroid and it works wonders. I'm not in the UK, but I've seen you can get it on Amazon.

First birth I tore 3rd degree so had stitches

Second birth I had an episiotomy and tearing so had lots of stitches

Both healed well , episiotomy was slightly more uncomfortable healing as there was bruising where they cut

I didn't really notice them stitching me up - I was too busy gazing at DD. I had a second degree internal tear. All healed fine. Crowning was super painful but was also incredible because I could feel DD. That's what I remember.

Three times here😬 first episiotomy with gas and air as I'd been induced as late, second two no pain killers and tore. Can't say at the point it happened was really aware of anything but the overpowering urge to get that baby out so don't worry about it, doesn't add any extra pain! In all honesty I think the tears healed quicker than the episiotomy! Yes, sore and uncomfortable for a week or so but totally worth it. Shower spray is your friend👍

Had a second degree tear 6 months ago with DS1, was so zonked out post birth and enamoured with my new baby that I wasn't worried at all about the stitches and couldn't feel a thing during it either. Felt a tiny bit sore for a week or so but absolutely fine now. I know how you feel though, even in the throes of labour I refused an epidural as I have an absolute disgust and fear of catheters, just the thought of it makes me internally gag! I promise a run of the mill tear isn't a big deal though and trust that at the time it'll be bottom of your worries.

I can't speak for third or fourth degree tears, but for a second degree tear, I found it honestly wasn't so bad. I had no idea there was a tear until they told me there was one. I was so exhausted from the birth that, even though it was a few hours before I could be stitched up (placenta took its sweet time plus a shift change), I don't remember any pain from it. For the stitching itself, local anaesthetic was injected (painful until it went numb) and I also got gas and air (blessed, blessed stuff). I really don't remember too much about it now. It was sore and painful to pee for a few days, but soon passed. All healed up nicely after a few weeks.

My friend recommended this stuff it's brilliant I had 2 babies didn't tear either time used this from 25 weeks