If you knew then what you know now!

[Cnmorgan13]

Hello!
Just a question. In regards to labour and delivery, what would you change, if you knew then what you know know. Would you have spoke out about something sooner if you knew it wasn't right etc

I'd like to have tried labouring in different positions

Sorry pushing that's meant to say

I'd have packed my hospital bag (went in at 35 weeks) and been more prepared for the unexpected - I had an emcs. Not that you can prepare for everything but I could've packed and chucked in a pack of big pants just in case

Don't let your waters be broken without checking the baby's position first.

I would've asked more questions during labour about how much I was progressing (everything was really quick) so I could make more of an informed decision at the time and understand why things were happening whilst off my head on gas and air. I got told nothing by the midwives and was left alone a lot then they started panicking at the last minute because they weren't watching. I also would've given birth upright to allow baby to come out smoother rather than being rushed by panicked midwives.
(To be honest I think I was naive to even trust them maybe?)

I would have asked for more guidance on attachment for breastfeeding in the delivery room. I didn't and, while I don't believe that has caused the problems I have had, I think it might have made things easier.

Hiya!

Quite a few things. The 2 main ones are:

1. Hire a proper labouring partner (unfortunately my husband did what he could but he fell short of the mark)
2. Have a lot more help after the birth for cooking, laundry and help me get out (for at least a month, ideally 2)

Other things would include
A-discuss ALL options and risks after ventouse failed first time
B-pay for a private room postnatally (I was on a high dependency unit first and the care was poor, at least in a private room there would have been some quiet)
C-Ask for a smaller mouthpiece for gas and air (you think they'd get that bit right but no they were gagging me and I didn't know they could change size-you live and learn)
D-Not trust antenatal class teacher so much ie no one is neutral and everyone has a personal agenda-hers was to reduce fear (a laudable aim) but at the expense of explaining what we should do in certain scenarios (such as What if the labour pain is so horrible, your husband not able to support you properly and that a drug free birth seems out of the question? What happens when ventouse fail? And more)

I like your question. I think it's very pertinent.
Good luck!

Id of packed more black pants and clothes and maternity pants.

Id of asked for another community midwife

I would have asked to be examined more. I was examined once, (was 1cm dialated), 4 hrs later the doctor told me I wasn't in established labour as he could still have a rational conversation with me. 5 mins later I wanted to push, and when examined was 9cm. No time for painkillers of any sort except gas & air!

I'd have asked them to untangle DS's umbilical cord from his leg after he was born, the tugging as we tried skin to skin before the placenta delivery was ouchy.

I'd also have been more pushy and asked to see the bf midwife, possibly DS's tongue tie would have been picked up earlier if I had.

About tongue tie.

That a baby doesn't need top ups because 'they look like they've a weak jaw'

Feed baby when it roots or cries - a three hourly schedule is unnecessary, stupid and will keep the whole ward up. (Only started putting weight on when fed in demand)

Do not express more than baby uses, even if it looks bloody impressive and the nurses are encouraging more. You're not a dairy cow. "When do i stop?" "When you stop dripping"

I didn't and ended up with over supply and very gassy baby.

Pay attention to lower/ upper back ache and see physio / do pilates esp with section. It will only get worse and could be spd. You need exercises not chiropractors and osteopaths.

My baby hated cots and ended up never sleeping in one, even if it was a bed side one (look into safe cosleeping even if you think it will NEVER happen to you.) (I thought that)

They are independent beings from the word go and know what they want!

I wish I'd known how much damage instruments can do. I'd have never let them near me and would have opted for a c-section.

I'd have gone straight to hospital rather than MLU. DS was undiagnosed breech and I had to be rushed off for an emcs.

I'd also have asked for pain relief rather than waiting for the midwives to offer it, silly me!

If you feel ropey and breathless don't delay seeing a midwife because you have a routine appointment booked in a few days.

That if you have a traumatic delivery it's ok to feel shit about it, that feeling will change in time, but you will never be the same person again.

I'd have packed a bag rather than assuming I wouldn't need one for my home birth. When the PPH happened I had nothing ready for us to take into hospital overnight

ArtichokeTagine I agree with you. That's why I would have liked a more experienced birth partner and not have trusted my antenatal teacher so much. Little did I know I would have not just an instrumental delivery but a triple instrumental delivery (2 failed ventouse followed by episiotomy and forceps-the damage was tremendous). TMI coming Incidentally I'm going in tomorrow to have surgery to try and fix the scarring that has left me with a too tight entrance to the vagina.

For info
www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/ventouse-forceps-delivery.aspx
www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Incontinence-bowel/Pages/Causes.aspx

Pinguina: I had surgery last week to fix my damaged pelvic floor that was ruined by a brutal forceps delivery. On the ward were three others who had the same procedure. We had all had forceps. It's criminal how little info is given to women about instrumental deliveries and their consequences.

What Luna said. And also I would have hired a doula with the first. Who could have helped me tell the hideous vile locum MW to naff off.

Sorry, I meant to say good luck with your surgery!

Not much but I wouldn't have put on as much weight. BMI was 20 at booking in and I put in 3 stone because I wasn't bothered. However on reflection it was too much and mayve affected my recovery a bit (made no difference to pregnancy or birth though)

For context with the extra 3 stone I was only 12 stone (5 ft 7) so I wasn't overweight but even that mattered

Penguina, I had that exact same op after my first. The recovery was so much better than after labour. And on the whole I'm now in full working order. Can be a little painful if not warmed up enough for sex and occasionally get a pulling feeling around my period or after a very strenuous work out, but the op was well worth it.

Hope all goes well.

Wow! What a lot of information, you ladies are amazing. I'm super early into my pregnancy, but I'm one for knowledge is power, the more the better. I never knew about withdrawing consent etc. especially as this is my first pregnancy I want to go in with my eyes wide open

Actually, I would have worried less about it. It wasn't the most dignified experience of my life but it wasn't anywhere near the horror show I'd been led to believe. Hardly anyone came anywhere near my lady grille. And I didn't do a single plop of poo.