If you knew then what you know now!

[Cnmorgan13]

Hello!
Just a question. In regards to labour and delivery, what would you change, if you knew then what you know know. Would you have spoke out about something sooner if you knew it wasn't right etc

Ignored my DM who told me it was better to not make too much noise as it was a waste of energy. Tried to stay quiet in first labour - ended up with emcs.

Second labour I was bellowing all the way through the most painful contractions - helped massively with the pain.

Wish I'd read more as with my 2nd I read more & really understood what happened in childbirth & wouldn't have been so scared of it. It also made me feel far more in control & I knew that I didn't have to have a medical birth & that I could refuse induction & opt for monitoring & got an amazing home birth at 40+13.

Id of got to the hospital sooner - ds labour was only 4 hours from me waking feeling a bit funny to holding him. Meant I had no time for pain relief and needed episiotomy and kelloid forceps with just a paracetamol (ds was in distress)

I had ptsd after ds birth, and if I have another I will go in early and have a c section. There is no way I could go through what I did again

If you'd like to breastfeed, I'd advise joining a breastfeeding organisation (NCT, La Leche or other local one) and reading and watching videos BEFORE you give birth. Try to go to a breastfeeding workshop as well.

The advice from midwives is either non-existent (after a week, they're gone) or contradictory (each midwife gave me different advice every time). I think it is best to keep to the same organisation where the advice should be consistent and where they should hopefully be able to send someone to you to check how you are doing and help you along the way.

Also expect a couple of weeks of pain: both baby and you are learning something new. Don't expect to be painting Picasssos with just a few days with a paint brush!
From experience, I believe your skin simply needs to get used to it, you and baby need to learn (latch, positioning) and it gets easier as baby gets a bit bigger.

Next time round I would try to make more fuss so they would believe I was actually in labour when we got to hospital (I still remember the look of surprise when they checked and found I was 9cm)

I would also insist on being in the positions I wanted to be in to labour, not the ones the MWs wanted me to be in.

Generally just trust myself more!

I'll also have bag packed from 37 weeks after DS arrived at 38 weeks unexpectedly - DH packed bag 8 hours before he arrived, 2hours before we went to hospital.

Baby no2 due in January - erk!

Good luck OP!

I'd trust my instincts a bit more. I was sure DS was breech - could feel his head in my ribs, but midwives kept telling me he was head down so I thought they must be right.
Having said that all was fine and I actually really enjoyed my EMCS.
And to be fair to midwives, aside from the undiagnosed breech issue, I had great care through pregnancy and anti-natal.

I wish I'd said no to internal examinations. I was
Made to feel the my were compulsory and they absolutely are not. I also wouldn't have an epidural again.