Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Please advise me ASAP - semi-urgent

103 replies

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:23

(History - previous EMCS to deliver stillborn and live twins at 32 weeks, treated for PTSD)

I've been in early labour for 2 days. HAd a show, but no waters broken. Been to hospital twice, only 1cm dilated last night. Contractions now much less strong, and about 10 mins apart (last night were strong and 3 mins but stopped). I have said that I would consider a VBAC but am shattered and very upset.
Not seen a doctor since yesterday morning, not sure what to do now. If it doesn't happen tonight I want my C section - I can't handle any more. How do I go about asking for this? Who do I contact? So tired, confused and upset, please help.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:23

Sorry, forgot to say, 37+4, ELCS booked for next Friday.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:26

bump :(

OP posts:
Owlingate · 08/06/2011 17:30

Right. If you are under consultant care call the consultant's secretary and say you want a c-sec. Then phone your named midwife and say the same thing. If no one listens go down to labour ward and say you want a c-sec now.

Can I ask - do you want to bring c-sec forward because you are worried about the baby? Are they trying to pressure you into a VBAC? I thought if you had a ELCS booked and went into labour beforehand they just gave you an ELCS.

squiggleywiggler · 08/06/2011 17:31

How about really trying hard to relax (nice bath, glass of wine, sleep) tonight and seeing what happens. If nothing has happened then I think you should contact the supervisor of midwives at the hospital. It's her job to help you get what you need, so she'll be able to talk to you about c-section.

poshme · 08/06/2011 17:31

Sorry don't have much advice but just wanted to answer. What does your m/w say? I would have thought with your history they would want to monitor you quite closely.
Can you go in and demand to stay? Or at least have some monitoring to put your mind at ease- they should be able to pit you on a mobile one so you can still keep active.
A very un-MN hug from me.Smile

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:32

I want to bring it forward because I simply can't cope with all this going on. I hadn't planned it like this and feel very much pressurised, no, forced into having a VBAC.

Thank you so much for your help.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:33

Not seen a communiuty midwife since 16 weeks, been under consultant and hosp midwife care.

I'll ring the specialist midwife (bereavement one) - she might know what to do

thank you all

OP posts:
Owlingate · 08/06/2011 17:33

Sorry forgot to add my sympathy - I suffered from PTSD and post natal anxiety following a truly awful hospital experience prior to a late miscarriage - it was to do with them not listening to me and having to constantly go back there and basically not being looked after. Is this something similar to what happened to you?

Owlingate · 08/06/2011 17:34

Loopyloops my bereavement MW acted as my liaison for all hospital things - whenever I was worried she called the relevant unit / arranged scans etc. Definitely make her your first point of contact.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:36

She's not there. I'll try the consultant.

I am petrified of making the wrong decision. I jsut don't know what to do for the best.
It is to do with not being looked after properly, in the other hospital particulalry - they saw that DTD1 was in trouble but didn't act.

OP posts:
reddaisy · 08/06/2011 17:36

Best of luck

poshme · 08/06/2011 17:36

Phoning special midwife sounds like a very good plan- hopefully she'll be on your side and help to fight your corner. If you don't want a VBAC then keep telling them what you do want- IME if you say it enough times trying to be reasonable then they start to listen.
Good luck.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:38

I've left it too late in the day for anyone it seems. :(

OP posts:
Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:40

Also, how can I get DH to back me up? HE seems to really think the VBAC is a great idea now.

OP posts:
Owlingate · 08/06/2011 17:40

Loopyloops if it would make you feel more in control then an ELCS is right for you. Its the bit where you have the heart monitor on I couldn't cope with in my subsequent birth- I made them turn it down, had a rule where I was not seen by anyone junior to a registrar etc. etc.

Do you have a DH / DP that can be the bastard for you and make demands?

Owlingate · 08/06/2011 17:42

Cross posts - VBAC is not a great idea if you don't want it and you are too anxious to make it work.

Tell DH that following a stillbirth many many women opt for a ELCS or planned induction at 38 weeks in order to minimise the variables.

Is it worth contacting SANDS to help YOU work things out? They were really helpful in my subsequent PG and not all natural birthy!

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:51

The thing is he was totally supportive of the ELCS, but now that it has all cropped up he wants me to try this VBAC. My heart just isn't in it.

OP posts:
wineisfine · 08/06/2011 17:56

VBAC is a shit idea. You are terrified, traumatised and exhausted. Not the best scenario for a vag birth anyway (I speak from experience).

After all you have been through you must just want this baby out quickly, and safely. The hospital are fine with the CS and it's your body ffs.

There will be midwives/nurses etc on duty at the hospital surely - labour ward etc. Could you call and ask to speak to someone, there will probably be a specialist on call?

In your situation I'd be camping out there or something, I really admire your strength.

schmee · 08/06/2011 17:57

Tell your husband his job is to get on board with you now. He is there to support you in your choices and to fight for you when you are vulnerable. He should be the one running around trying to find someone to sort this out for you. What is the midwife who is checking on you saying? Does she know your history and that you are requesting a cs now? They should be continuously monitoring you if you have had two previous c-sections, and according to the protocol at my hospital you should now be having a c-section for failure to progress, whatever your choice of delivery.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:57

Spoken to a midwife at maternity triage. She said to cal the consultant in the morning... :(

OP posts:
schmee · 08/06/2011 18:01

Are you at home rather than the hospital? Do they think you are in false labour or something?

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 18:02

I'm at home. It could be false labour, or long early labour. No frigging way of knowing apparently.

OP posts:
Owlingate · 08/06/2011 18:10

Oh Loopy. Would you feel safer if you went down there and got monitored again? And spoke to a doctor?

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 18:19

I don't know. I felt so stupid coming home this morning. And there don't seem to be an doctors there anyway, only midwives.
Poor DH is fast asleep anyway.

I just want it to get itself over and done with. :(

OP posts:
poshme · 08/06/2011 18:27

There should be doctors there- prob just not ones that will come to the phone. I would go in and demand to talk to a senior m/w about an elcs now. Think through your reasons - if nec write them down so you don't forget and keep mentioning what happened last time Sad .
If they had already agreed to an elcs I am surprised they haven't asked you in already.
Sending you loads of luck and best wishes.