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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Please advise me ASAP - semi-urgent

103 replies

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 17:23

(History - previous EMCS to deliver stillborn and live twins at 32 weeks, treated for PTSD)

I've been in early labour for 2 days. HAd a show, but no waters broken. Been to hospital twice, only 1cm dilated last night. Contractions now much less strong, and about 10 mins apart (last night were strong and 3 mins but stopped). I have said that I would consider a VBAC but am shattered and very upset.
Not seen a doctor since yesterday morning, not sure what to do now. If it doesn't happen tonight I want my C section - I can't handle any more. How do I go about asking for this? Who do I contact? So tired, confused and upset, please help.

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hellospoon · 08/06/2011 19:22

I think you should be in hospital. Given your history you should be really making a fuss. Make your dh do some shouting to get you listened to x

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 19:24

Hospital is half an hour away.

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Trace100 · 08/06/2011 19:34

Well, you know your body. Listen to it. If the contractions ease or stop - chill out. But something tells me you are going to be in low grade panic mode all night.

Even if you go to hospital and they just give you a check up so that you can rest easy - it will be worth it.

Me? I would go and camp out in the fricking A&E dept - stuff protocol! Nobody upsets an A&E dept more than a screeching pregnant woman....

And hospitals have cheap restaurants - tell DH you want to go out for a meal and take him to the hospital cafe - lol

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 19:34

Midwife says to go in when 3 mins apart...

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victoriasmith · 08/06/2011 19:36

If you can relax at home until tomorrow morning I would try and do that, but if you're not feeling happy at home, which you have said, and can't relax then you need to get yourself to the hospital, remember these are your decisions to make not the midwives and not your DH.

Also, my friend is a midwife and she is always telling me that she would rather women come into hospital than wait nervously at home, it doesn't matter how many times you go down there the midwifes are there to provide you with a service!

When you get to the hospital ask to speak to the midwife in charge of the shift tonight, she will be a band 7, the night staff should have started by now, explain your situation to them and how you are feeling. If you are still not more than 3cm dilated and they don't want you on the delivery suite then ask if you can at least stay on another ward over night, at least that way you will be in the hospital with midwifes around who can monitor you if needs be. If, understandably, you are not feeling strong enough to really fight your corner on all this explain it all to your husband and get him to do all the speaking for you.

Also if your contractions are picking up then hopefully you'll get there and they will WANT to keep you in as your labour, fingers crossed, might be progressing.

Just try and do what feels right to you, if being at home feels right do that, if being in hospital would make you feel happier then try and really push for that!

You can do it!

Trace100 · 08/06/2011 19:37

What are they now?

Whatevertheweather · 08/06/2011 19:44

Nothing to add other than lots of luck and best wishes. Please do whatever makes you feel most comfortable - I can assure you the hospital will have had people turning up with far more trivial things (me included Blush)

Positive vibes x

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 19:52

About 10 mins again. Not overly strong, taking breath away but not wincing in pain. If it's anything like yesterday it will take its time to build up, but what if it's nothing again? I'll go in if that happens and ask to stay there. I can't do another full night of to-ing and fro-ing.

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Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 19:58

Feeling really sick again now. Is that normal (ie to do with labour, or is it just me stressing out?) (Been sick twice)

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breadandhoney · 08/06/2011 20:03

You need to get your dh up (if he is still asleep) and have him by your side right now. As someone said above, it is his job to support you through this. Get him up and get a cuddle and please try to calm down a bit. If you are really worried or really wound up, go to the hospital and explain your previous experience and your concerns. They would be mad to send you home in this state. All the very very best wishes from me xx

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 20:04

Thank you. He is up, bathing DD. Just had a chat with him though and explained what my plan is and that he needs to be the forceful one to help it get stuck to. He agreed.

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breadandhoney · 08/06/2011 20:04

PS you could be sick due to labour pains, but being as stressed out as you are could also be the cause. Remember to drink plenty of water and stay hydrated.

breadandhoney · 08/06/2011 20:05

Good for you. Thats is right, he needs to be strong and forceful for you. Get him to speak to midwife at hospital too!

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 20:07

I will. And I'll get him to make dinner. Really hungry all of a sudden.

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Abelia · 08/06/2011 20:21

Well done. What's the plan for DD - do you have someone there to look after her now?

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 20:22

My mum's here. :)

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Owlingate · 08/06/2011 20:24

Loopy I'm glad you managed to get your DH on board, I found it really hard to tell him he had to be the one to fight for me as I couldn't do it myself.

There are always doctors on duty, the only problem sometimes is getting hold of a senior one but the junior one can always get a consultant on the phone. I really think you'd be better off going in, I bet your blood pressure is off the charts anyway.

(NB I am always sick when in labour by the way).

Good luck keep us updated.

Abelia · 08/06/2011 20:33

Great your mum is there. What does she think? If she's someone you would ask / trust on this (not that your mum isn't lovely or trustworthy, but sometimes the generations have differing ideas!)

missismac · 08/06/2011 20:48

Hi Loopy, FWIW I agree with the others saying that VBAC really doesn't sound like a good thing for you. It also sounds as if the MW who examined you on your previous visit to hospital hadn't read your notes properly. You weren't there because you thought you were in labour (she probably gets a lot of Mums turning up at 1cm dilated thinking it's all systems go), you were there because the labour is starting and you dont want a vaginal birth. It seems crucial to me that when you decide to go back into hospital either you or your partner repeats this to every person you come into contact with to make it plain how potentially distressing and traumatic this could be for you.

Some things that might help: Find out each persons name and use it frequently (a mental trick to make people listen to you better).

Don't be fobbed off with "elective caesareans don't happen at night time". They can't control when your body decides to go into labour. Like emergency caesars, ELCS can happen at anytime. There's always a doctor available.

Under no circumstances let them put you on an antenatal ward overnight and send your husband home. Recruit the help of the bereavement midwife if they try to insist on this. The professionals need to understand that you are an exceptional case. Because of your previous experience undergoing a labour, or trial of labour would be frightening for you. To be having contractions or the possibility of a labour advancing more speedily than they estimate without your partner there, would be terrifying and is a completely unacceptable option for you.

Be firm, but polite. Insist.

Good Luck.

Thinking of you.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 20:48

Er, I don't tent to ask her opinions on things! Different planet, let alone generation! (Lovely as she is)

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victoriasmith · 08/06/2011 20:49

I wasn't, but I know a few of my friends were sick during the early stages of labour. Things might be progressing, keep active and upright and try to keep walking around to try and encourage things.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 20:50

Thank you missis, that's really helpful advice.

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AtYourCervix · 08/06/2011 22:14

hi loopy

'normally' early labour - rest, eat, walk, bath, sleep etc.

however you are not really 'normal' (sorry Grin)

do you feel able to carry on overnight doing all what you have been?

If you want to go down the section route you would be better waiting till morning when you will have consultants on hand who will make real decisions. Yes, sections do happen at night but there will be more senior people around during the day.

If you are still contracting (no matter how far apart they are) and you feel like you want help now, then ring delivery and tell them that you coming in. when you get there make sure they know your history and what you have decided you need. if necessary play up the fact you have a section booked and you do not want to go for VBAC.

Either way you will have your baby very very soon which is bloody brilliant and exciting and miraculous all at the same time.

GastonTheLadybird · 08/06/2011 22:14

Good luck Loopy, really really don't hesitate to go in, that is what they're there for and don't for one second let them make you feel like you're being a nuisance.

Original poster
LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 08/06/2011 22:26

Thank you so much :)

Do I feel able to carry on? If it stays like this - yes. If I get more contractions and the whole hospital, internal, disappointment blah blah blah - no. I'm tired but emotionally I'm exhausted.

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