June 2014: New Year, new trimester, new thread! June bugs no 7!!

[hackneybird]

Ding dong!

I want complain as its probably not worth the hassle and I don't want to onto a bad start with my midwifery team. But I'm definitely annoyed by this.

I'm planning to take 4 wks parental leave (that's max in a year) but your employer has a right to postpone it.. Hence I'm not sure if I should state it now or when I'm on ml. I think the latter, less pressure that way...

Oops WON'T complain :)

I don't think the mw has anything to do with nhs classes. if o remember rightly you phone up and book yourself on them. I did nct and a one day nhs one. I wanted to get to know the hospital. I'd book it yourself anyway sleepy.

I still need to talk to HR about my leave - they are supposed to be sending me a pack, good that I may be able to take all my holiday before though! I want to leave as soon as possible! I'd rather have a longer time before the baby arrives than come to work every day. It's not the most maternity friendly role and I'm already counting down the days...

Our staff web is only accessible from work and my log in has expired by now, anyway - I have the policy printed out somewhere, there's a form I need to fill in! Might have to call in on Saturday and safe it on a memory stick...

on my nhs leaflet it says that i have to book antenatal clases via community wife, i guess the ways of booking nhs classes and are they connected to mw depends on a region

Back from midwife and all is well. Very quick appointment with blood pressure and heartbeat all fine and that was that. Relieved all is well and looking forward to my fitness class tonight!

sleepy that sounds ridiculous, although I am sure you will get what you need from NCT class. I am sure that you can get funding for NCT if you can't afford it so that argument seems flawed too!

I am trying to work from home and fighting with my cat who wants to sit on my laptop

Our hospital course is run by community midwives so it might even be mine that's there on the day! I've already booked but she implied I should cancel due to NCT etc

GP will try to arrange joint neurology & obstetrics appointment for the migraines and said they might have to put me on beta blockers which I dread (tried and failed already but apparently might work during pregnancy but that can't be good for baby's heart!). Oh well. There goes my 'healthy normal pregnancy'. Not sure I'll ever be brave enough to face baby no 2!

Sorry for my moans. If we ever meet up for real, I owe you a large chocolate cake for all the negativity here.

Marlena, I know someone who's on some sort of benefits and will be attending NCT signature classes for £16. So yes, it's down to priorities, not ONLY income.

Not that NCT is something everyone should strive for but that's a silly argument from MW IMHO.

sleepy so pleased your appointment went ok, apart from the high bp bit. Hopefully they will get that down for you, a few days rest and relaxation might do the trick too now you are rest assured that baby is ok.

Ah marlena your cat sounds just like mine, he's always trying to sit on the keyboard or roll over on my hands as I type! Wish I could be chilling out with him at home right now.

I'm starting to panic about not feeling pregnant again. I have a bump, but the amount I've been eating it could just be fat!! I am sure I have felt the odd movement but nothing much and not for a few days so I'm really anxious to see or hear that everything is ok in there. Have MW appt on thurs........counting down.

I felt very little other than flutters and rumbles but heart beat was beating away today so try not to worry!

I was starting to panic that all wasn't well with baby as hadn't felt much and been so unwell then really silly saw 2 separate magpies on their own this morning! Just had MW appointment and really strong, healthy heartbeat. Everything is fine with everything else and got my flu jab too for good measure as temp has come down.
Little boy not well though so my day today of meant to be resting and getting better has been somewhat spent making sure my little patient is ok

I have that too sleepy In order to sign up to the nhs class you basically have to sign the disclaimer that you are not attending nct! I was shocked!

Vicky that sounds like a nice plan. Unfortunately DH is saving all his leave until after the baby is born (guess it makes sense) so Im currently planning three weeks leave before ml starting on my due date. I'll then request working only three days a week for the 6 weeks prior. We don't tend to be on client site Fridays anyway so they won't miss me, so I'm thinking of asking to work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. The two weeks prior to that are the Easter weeks - so only four days in those two weeks. That'd mean my last five day week would be middle of April. Sounds lovely! fx it'll get approved

Getting scared about tonight now. Plus if it's too relaxing I might fall asleep! Ill be going to straight from work and the class is two hours. So won't be home until just before ten which is past my current bed time!

Huh, I didn't have to sign anything! The hospital midwife just signed me up during the chat after my 20 week scan and I didn't have to sign, she just put my details down and that was that!

Phew, jaykay, I wouldn't have the energy. I hope you have fun!

Got my 18 week MW appointment and it'll be my first one so looking forward to it. Both to hopefully hearing the heartbeat and also finishing work at lunch time!

I have sort of felt movement (this is my 2nd and had an anterior placenta with my first so didn't feel anything until well past 20 weeks. Maybe 23 weeks ish?) Seems to have been quite a bit of activity today although it's very much the case that as I can feel it I think 'yep that is DEFINITELY baby' and then the second it stops I think 'or was it wind, maybe it was just wind...' I also go a couple of days inbetween feeling anything so think it must depend a lot on position.

Also re rolling over holiday... my company rolls over a maximum of 3 days except for maternity leave when there is no limit and bank holidays are included which is good!

My boss just emailed me and asked me if I was going to come back after maternity leave. Are they allowed to ask that?

No, I don't think so lmf or you don't have to tell them anyway. I have also been emailed and asked when I am leaving. It is almost as if they can't wait for me to go. I know that isn't really true but you work so hard to get respect and then when you are pregnant it goes out of the window

I know! I got a long email asking how long i was taking and when I was going to go, when I replied saying we will have to advertise soon as people my level are often on three months notice I got an email saying, 'so are you coming back after or shall we just get someone to cover your role?'

lmf You don't have to decide that for a while yet so just say you don't know. They can't ask it.

Hi Ladies,
Sorry not posted for AGES! Hope you are all doing well – I have my 20 week scan this thursday avo – soooo looking forward to it. We’re taking our toddler DD with us. She keeps saying mummy has a baby in her tummy to everyone we meet, exciting to start thinking about ML. I worked out I have only got abt 50 days to work!!!! (I’m PT). Have a proper bump now – been feeling the baby for weeks - totally awesome!!

My antenatal classes are arranged through the midwives at the MLU, I wish I’d done NCT first time round. Lots of friends did and loved it – they made really good friends at it too.

My boss emailed me yesterday asking when I was thinking of finishing up for ML – didn’t ask if I am coming back after though. Said ‘no pressure it was just to give him a rough idea’. I plan to go back but that might well change – won’t be telling them that though!!

Aw highland my ds is like that too. At nursery yesterday he walked me round to see everyone saying "This is my mummy's fat tummy and our baby is in it!" Cute but embarrassing!

Walking like a properly pregnant lady today - ligament pain suddenly kicked in! Might be from being on my feet for two days after two weeks of laziness.

Lmf NO!!! That email is I believe illegal!

They cannot ask you how long you intend to take they definitely cannot ask you if you intend to come back. I think the standard response for how long are you planning on taking is up to a year, but if I decide I want to come back sooner I will give you the required amount of notice (I think its 8 weeks but could be wrong on that) .

And the answer for are 'you going to come back?' is - well I don't know any nice ways of putting that .

Do you have a good relationship with your boss? Was he just trying to plan and just a bit clueless?

Just got a call from a lovely sounding midwife about the weight management clinic they offer - I feel through the cracks at my booking appointment, so it's not ideal to start at 20 weeks, but hey ho.

Several meetings, one on one with a nutritionist, physio treatment - it'd be silly to turn that down and it should help for losing weight after the birth, as well.

Only I've gone and scheduled my meeting with them for the same time I have my gender scan, bah! That is totally an excuse to get DH to call the ultrasound centre and move the scan a week forward, isn't it?

They can ask how long you are going to take but you don't have to say. I'm not sure they're allowed to ask if you're going to return after though I'm fairly sure that's not on. But in reality lots of employers do ask because they want to know. I just handled it by putting in writing I intend to take x but please consider that I don't know how I will feel after the birth and this is likely to change.