June 2014: New Year, new trimester, new thread! June bugs no 7!!

[hackneybird]

Ding dong!

I believe they are supposed to assume you'll take the full entitlement (one year) unless you give notice you plan to do otherwise (8 weeks notice required).

clutter glad your appointment went well, hope your little man gets well soon.

jay that sounds like a good plan taking a day off a week. Luckily my DH gets more leave than I do so he's taking a bit less than me for our hols we have planned and won't take any in April, then he should have 3 weeks to add on to the 2 weeks paternity leave once baby arrives (I think he really wants to watch the football World Cup!)

lmf my understanding was also that your employer should assume you are taking the full 12 month entitlement unless you give them notice of your intention to take less.

bee like your thinking with bringing that gender scan forwards

Bee, that sounds great! I wish I could see a nutritionist and haves someone to help me make myself lose weight. Do you mind me asking if you have to have a BMI of a certain level to qualify for that?

Lmf that's really bad - be very official with your response!

Sareva did you find them?

Bumble hope the commute goes well - I know how tiring teaching is (I taught secondary until last year). I'm sure he'll be fine and it's good he's starting on a whole term contract from a finding a new job point of view.

I can't wait to start ML now though I still have to find out if I'm entitled to take the bank holidays I'd miss beforehand (hol year is Jan-Dec). I was in a meeting about something happening in December today and my boss pointed out (in a nice way!) that I won't have to worry about any of it I do however have a big internal report to do over the next couple of weeks, which is scaring me quite a lot as I've never done one and I'm worried it'll be rubbish!

Bee my DH is exactly the same! I do wish there was something he felt he needed to look up - he just thinks everything is common sense and he doesn't need to prepare at all. He's a very logical person and tbh his logic will get him through most things, but it does make me feel a bit inadequate and neurotic when I'm the only one who thinks we need to do a bit of preparation before the baby comes.

Thanks Super - he's doing ok so far & apparently has no lessons to plan for Friday as it is 'reading day' (!) which is v pleased about

Wispa I was offered the nutrition advice despite being under the usual required BMI (35) as I'm still obese & because I put on so much weight in 1st pregnancy. I turned it down thinking it would be a chat and advice about healthy eating which I really don't need (I just need to work hard to lose the baby weight) but now Bee's made me jealous! :)

Ha Vicky my dh is exactly the same in that he is hoping baby being born will coincide with World Cup, I need to use this to my advantage and express and he can do night feeds and I can sleep!

Re A/L entitlement my works holidays run April to April and any you don't use or accrue you can lump on to the end of your mat leave this also covers public holidays and bank holidays.
My line manager sakes how long I was planning on taking and I said ideally the year but if financially we can't manage I will notify them. I'm sure in my work it's 28 days notice.
If we are claiming full Maternity then we have to go back for a minimum of 15 weeks. We can take up to 5 years career break but at some point either have to go back for the 15 weeks or pay it back.

Wispa Bumblebee Don't be jealous, she said I get given a set of scales with Wifi and have to get on them once a week and the result is beamed to the nutritionist. Scary!

clutter good thinking, think I'll adopt that plan too :)

That's freaky BEE!
Just back from fitness class and it was great! Bouncing on a ball and doing aerobics. Will ache tomorrow as not done a squat in 16 weeks

clutter Sounds similar to my work, I have to go back for 3 months or pay back my extra maternity pay and I can take a 3 year career break. I haven't decided yet, I'm too anxious to get through the rest of this pregnancy.

Nurse at new GP practise tomorrow and then see about actually seeing a doctor there - my sick line runs out next Wednesday and ideally I'd need another few weeks, but I'd feel awful about being off for the rest of my pregnancy. Have offered to cut hours and reduce work to the more relaxed location that doesn't require quite so much heavy lifting...

They can ask whatever they like (its not unreasonable for an employer to want to make plans) but your not compelled to answer. Given that you can change your mind they can't really rely on it anyway. I'm going to say "probably a year but might be shorter" and leave it at that.

Bee scary scale

Sleep how are you feeling? I have been on paracetamol and coffee for the past two days with a migraine too

DH put DS to sleep and asked me: how are we going to do with two children? Will they go to bed at the same time? I did not know what to answer. I never thought that far! Any good books on this?

Can I join you? Had my 16wk check todday, due 22nd June.

Told my boss today also, he seems fine about it so far.

Think you just need to wing it a bit, Liquid. To begin with I would put DS to bed whilst newborn DD screeched downstairs with poor DH (early evening two hour cry-athon). But then as she got more into a routine I was able to bring her bedtime forward a lot so that I would put her to bed and then could do DS. Now she is 2 and DS is 5 we are a bit random. But mostly we bath together and I put DS to bed and DH puts DD to bed. I am panicking about how we are going to do it with three though!!!

Hi NoCrying welcome to the thread :) glad 16wk check went ok and your boss was ok about things

Thank you everyone for your advice. I think I'll just tell her I'll discuss it all with HR when I've had my 20 week scan, pretty sure they are completely unaware of her questions anyway, I'll cc them in the response. She's never had to deal with anyone pregnant before. I may be taking all that holiday entitlement to leave early at this rate.

Welcome no crying - should I guess from your name you work in a male dominated environment ?:)

I have also been thinking about bedtimes - DS is always wanting to stay up later and later as it is and suspect he will be even worse when baby is here .

redcliff I am the same - really worrying about bedtime for two! My DS is 4 now and bedtime is such a battle at the moment, at 9.10 this evening he was STILL getting out of bed because 'he needed to ask mummy a question'.

A friend of mine saved up and got in hired help to assist with bed time for the first two months after her second was born. Her husband works away a lot for weeks at a time so I can see how she could justify and needed it. I could never afford it, though I can dream.....

liquid if you find any good books on dealing with two please share!

Welcome no crying.

Hi all, interesting about different employer attitudes to mat leave. I've told my line manager,who has told HE, and she is apparently waiting for me to contact her. Checked the official form today, just asks for EDD and planned start of mat leave. I had my appointment with the consultant midwife today to discuss possibility of home VBAC. She was lovely and v happy to give me lots of stats and answer all my questions, and I think is supportive of whatever path I ultimately choose, but their preference is delivery suite in hospital with constant fetal monitoring. Really not keen on being hooked up to a monitor constantly, but I do get this is what they see as the key advantage in spotting signs of a uterine rupture. It's quite scary stuff, and the stats do give you pause if a uterine rupture occurs at hone, baby is three tines more likely to die or be severely handicapped.but giving birth at home doesn't make me any more likely to have a rupture (0.5% chance). Be interested to know what anyone else thinks.

Do you mind my asking if you're at higher risk of uterine rupture belly gazing or do they just want to do it as a matter of course?

Home birth appeals to me but the cleaning up doesn't... Hospital stats are pretty good for intervention and I think I'll be more confident there as it's my first. If there were a baby unit near here I'd go for that though. Am going to try for water birth!

I hope those planning a bigger family find the answers in a magic book!
lady Ive always told DH! no more children than parents. I often see mum and dad adopt the tag team approach with dc1 and dc2, but when I see those with three dc I always think "madness"!!! I'm sure you'll be great! I just don't think I'm cut out for it!

So nct yoga last night was good. It was very low key and nice and relaxing. I was by far the least pregnant there - but most seem to continue up until their due date. I slept through the night for the first time since before my BFP! Not sure if that's a coincidence or not - we'll have to see! It wasn't enough to feel like exercise but it was a lovely stretch that seems to have done my back some good. marlena no idea how you did something so energetic!

Ha Jaykay that's what I said, in fact I gave away anything baby related as my DD2 grew out of it.....roll on 4 years later and here I am again!

Marlena glad to hear your fitness class was good, I googled it after you mentioned it and there is are a couple in SW london! debating between that and water workout antenatal.

Welcome noCrying

And guess what they found my bag (asked at the station in the morning on the off chance), it's on its way to lost property in Baker Street - so thank you all for being so encouraging.

Bee - love the sound of the weight management clinic and the futuristic scales!
Clever sorry about your ligament pain, I'm suffering from meralgia paresthetica, a nerve pain in my upper left thigh- it's awful because I never know when the pain is going to occur and then it feels like someone has injected my upper thing with hot burning liquid, my doc has referred me to physio so hoping that helps.
Highland good luck with your scan tomorrow
Vicky I'm sure everything is fine.....even although I feel exactly like you! 3rd DC, 17 + 4 and no movement, only wind .... I think....it's been 5 years since I was last pregnant so maybe I've forgotten.
Anyway midwife appointment today - have a lovely day everyone.

Bee I'd love wifi scales!! :)

Clutter the 8 weeks is a legal requirement they don't have to accept you back unless you give that but it's not as long as it sounds - it's possible an internal policy could override that but I'm not sure.

Liquid I am also panicking about how we deal with 2. Thanks for reassurance LadyG - my toddler wakes if I so much walk past his room so I am fearing the worst with a screaming newborn!!