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June 2014: New Year, new trimester, new thread! June bugs no 7!!

978 replies

hackneybird · 31/12/2013 15:37

Ding dong!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Redcliff · 06/01/2014 22:30

Thanks wispa for posting the link and thanks for the tip for next time. Most trusts seem to be saying its a time thing as it can an extra 10 minutes and time is money and there is rarely a medical reason for needing to know. All sounds a bit fishy to me.

panicmechanic · 06/01/2014 22:45

Congrats Bee and Lady - great news!!!

Jaykay - last pg I had to fly to Asia every 3 weeks for a week. The assessment said this was ok until I hit 26 weeks where the airline wouldn't accept me (which I was relieved about!)

Has anyone else not told work yet? I haven't and I am thinking about doing it next week. I have a consultant appt tomorrow to check out my placenta issue (fx all is ok). I also haven't mentioned it to my dd - she is only 2.5 so don't know when is good time - any ideas?

Has anyone else started thinking about how they will cope with two (or more) munchkins . I am starting to panic! Am I going to be a 42 year old crumbling mess!

BEEwitched · 06/01/2014 23:25

I thought I'd be sleeping by now - instead I've started some serious shopping for baby. Currently looking at sheepskins for the cot. Already examined grobags. Bed. Now.

panicmechanic · 06/01/2014 23:47

Bee - my 2.5 dd is still in gro bags and I love them!

superlambanana · 07/01/2014 00:08

Goodness I'm so behind! Pesky work stopping me from keeping up to date on the thread Wink

I'm on my phone so can't scroll back, so I hope you'll forgive me for a general welcome to newbies and congratulations to those who've had good results / scans - bit envious as I have to wait nearly a month for mine!

I feel a bit like Cinderella at the moment, except instead of turning back into a maid on the stroke of twelve I think I turn into one of the ugly sisters the minute I hit the too tired mark - grouchy and sulky and unpleasant Hmm At least I can identify when I need to sleep!!

Bumblebeesmum · 07/01/2014 03:56

Jaykay I'm in a similar boat re holiday. When does your holiday year start though? If April then it depends when you intend to return as you may have a couple of weeks still within the holiday year at the end of your maternity depending when you intend to start ML?? Or you could plan to start ML literally at 40 weeks & use holiday before that - I'm fairly sure (check) they have to allow you to roll over any you were physically unable to use due to baby coming early or sickness etc. Also are you sure it's the full 7 weeks? My work allow me to carry forward 1 week - still rubbish but helps a little.

Hackney My husband has only been a SAHD for 6 months but he has been out of teaching for several years. He has found day 1 good but because of his lack of recent experience no local agencies would take him on so he is up at 5.30 for his 75 min commute & last night got home at 7. It's going to be a hard term on him & our little one who seemed v happy yesterday & then properly lashed out when his Dad came home. Hopefully after this term contract ends he'll get something closer to home.

jaykay987 · 07/01/2014 05:15

panic bumble thanks for letting me know about your travel.

bumble my year runs Jan to December, so I will need to use before, as no chance before the end of the leave year. I did laugh when HR said "having a baby before due date is not a valid excuse for needing to roll annual leave over!" I can roll a little, but there is a risk as if I plan on rolling over the max, and start ml on due date - if I pop early I will lose holiday. But if I take it all, and pop early - I might be able to carry a little over as I won't have used my rollover allowance up. oh I wish I had a crystal ball!

super your Cinderella analogy did make me giggle. Hope you got your much needed sleep.

bee hope you got to sleep!

I start nct yoga tonight. Im very nervous!
I'm annoyed as I had booked onto this nct yoga and a local group on Saturdays. Unfortunately, local group has now moved to Wednesday night's. With my upcoming travel, looks like I'll miss both classes for a month or so. Boo! Saturday mornings would have been so much more useful, as despite my travel, I could have attended!

SleepyNess · 07/01/2014 07:41

Hi all!

I know I've been winging a lot in this thread and I'm really sorry but tbh I have nowhere else to do it so... :(

I woke up at 5 am with a splitting headache (of course!), took 2x paracetamol and asked DH (already awake) for a wet flannel. He comes back into the bedroom stating he just googled it and it turns out paracetamol is v harmful for baby and it causes asthma according to BBC. So basically I've been lying to him when I said it was safe etc etc. Of course I burst into tears and try to tell him that media headlines tend to misrepresent medical research etc etc. Eventually I show him nhs behind the headlines article dissecting the said news story (paracetamol and asthma) and concluding that its findings are rather weak and have loads of limitations (small sample, etc). What really bugs me is that I work in a research department within the nhs and I CAN dissect an article, even though I'm not medically trained! But suddenly this is total news for DH (???!!!). So he apologises but by now it's 7 am, my headache is worse, my face is swollen from crying and I've been awake since 5am. What a way to start a day!!

I have a mw appointment in two hours and she's probably going to put me down as hysterical. Because of course I worry about harming my child but at the same time I've been under loads of pain and worry about not being able to do my job due to this increase in headaches. I have a phone in app with my new Gp this lunch time, I think I'll ask for 1:1 appointment and drag DH with me so he is there and can ask anything he wants and it's not just me 'harming the baby' because I fancy it.

MarlenaGru · 07/01/2014 07:47

Oh sleepy that is frustrating. DH also does no research etc but will pop up with random gems he has read in headlines etc! Hope you feel better this afternoon and can get a nap in!

16 week appointment today and then first fitness class tonight. Can't wait. Also back to school for DD so I better get her dressed ASAP!

BEEwitched · 07/01/2014 08:00

sleepy Seriously, talk to the midwife - they will understand and they will not dismiss you as being hysterical, at all. They've heard and seen it all before, from nervous pregnant ladies to not understanding husbands. Big hugs to you, and try to get a nap in before you see the midwife!

Bumblebeesmum · 07/01/2014 08:02

Sleepy that's horrible & they won't think you're hysterical. I'm waking at 3am with splitting headaches without fail you're probably also knackered. In his defence....I think men struggle with not really having a role at this point so it's probably his way of trying to join in the caring for baby duties even if done badly. Hope your appt goes well

BEEwitched · 07/01/2014 08:08

Mine would never even look something up - I wish I could take my mom's stance, she's like "Be glad he's not getting involved, buy what you think you need for baby and don't worry about it"; but I'd really like him to a bit of research and take an interest.

Mind you, he's like that with everything, and he IS a good handholder and shoulder to cry on, which is more important.

Redcliff · 07/01/2014 08:28

Bumble - really glad his first day went ok although that commute sounds like a killer .

Poor you sleepy - that does not sound like a good start to the day - hope the rest of it gets better.

Redcliff · 07/01/2014 08:34

Panic - I am also worried about the whole 2 kids thing. My DS will be 7 and I really want to do some fun things this summer. Will be getting a sling but wondered if a carry cot could be useful so baby can sleep in that while the 3 of us are out and about.

BEEwitched · 07/01/2014 08:38

Talking about slings, Cot2Tot has the olive and midnight blue sling in the sale. I bought the olive as I like the colour and thought £18 was very good.

Vickyvix · 07/01/2014 09:29

Hi jay I am also unable to carry over holiday or bank hols into the next year (and leave year is jan to dec) so I will need to take 5.5 weeks off before May (I can think of harder things!)

We've planned a week's holiday in January and two weeks in February, then I may take a week in late April to do some shopping for baby, then just take the remainder at the beginning of maternity leave. Baby is due around 20th so I planned to finish work on 23rd May but take it as leave until 10th June - or slightly later if I have enough days.

No risk assessment at work yet, I'm supposed to have had one but they are a bit like that.

Oh no sareva what a nightmare! Have you tried lost property? Quite often people do hand stuff in.

jay I'd really love to know how the NCT yoga goes, I was thinking of starting that too.

sleepy that sounds like a horrible start to the day. Do talk to the midwife and your doc and I hope your day improves. I had an issue with my DH thinking that skiing whilst 17 weeks was perfectly acceptable and safe and That I was being overly cautious taking it easy, but advising me at the same time it was dangerous to use a nasal spray for my congestion!?!?! Go figure!

GinandStripes · 07/01/2014 09:36

Wow, all caught up from last week - should've taken notes as I've now forgotten what I wanted to add.

It's very exciting that we are now on the 2nd wave of scans. Got mine on the 24th and will be finding out the gender, impatient!

Looking at booking NCT classes now, have ummed & aarred but think my boyfriend will find them really beneficial, and help him to feel more involved. Although he's likely to be the youngest Dad there - I'm probably the average age at 33 but he's 5 years younger!

ohcluttergotme · 07/01/2014 09:38

Sleepy so sorry your feeling so rubbish. I've not been feeling well since Christmas Day. I work in NHS and my line manager sent me home again yesterday and made me see GP. I've got ear and throat infection and said to GP how worried I was to be taking paracetamol and she said it's absolutely fine. My line manager was a midwife for years and also said its fine. I think there seems to be huge conflicting advice. A colleague returned to my work place yesterday following mat leave and she said she was having such horrendous headaches that she was prescribed beta blockers towards the end of her pregnancy and also had SPD where she couldn't walk without crutches and needed to take pain killers.
My little boy also not well today so both of us are off. Got midwives appointment at 1:30 so hopefully even though I'm feeling so rubbish little baby is doing ok.

GinandStripes · 07/01/2014 09:40

Oh yeah ML & holiday - my holiday year runs June to May. So it makes sense to go on ML at the end of June. Not worried about getting bored if the littleun is late. As I work from home, alone anyway - I'm looking forward to not being tied to my laptop at certain times.

SleepyNess · 07/01/2014 10:25

Post MW, all well, strong heartbeat, high bp (surprise surprise!). Only wish I haven't mentioned NCT because she said I should cancel hospital run 1 day course if I'm doing NCT because its not fair on others blah blah blah. I cannot see her point because I want to know how my hospital goes about doing things, etc, what's wrong with that? Anyway, don't tell them if you're planning to attend both!

Bumblebeesmum · 07/01/2014 10:31

Sleepy I think NCT is a posher often smaller group version that covers same stuff as hospital and more. The hospital also focus on things like smoking etc as large no won't have had huge pregnancy education exposure. I know they're all stressed re all the cuts etc but it really isn't her business what you pay as add ons privately - do what you want to do.

Riblet · 07/01/2014 10:43

Great to hear you had a good scan Bee Smile

Welcome ExpectingTwins, and congratulations! I'm also a first timer expecting twins and have to admit, it would be nice to have one of each, although we're not going to find out. There is someone else having twins on this thread, although I don't think she's been on much and can't remember her name (sorry to whoever it is).

Sorry to hear your troubles Sleepy, and I hope the MW put your mind at rest. Just to say that my GP told me paracetamol was safe (I didn't ask, she just used that as an example of something that had lots of anecdotal evidence of safety in pregnancy as opposed to what she was giving me for heartburn which should be fine but she couldn't guarantee it). I think lots of other people on here have been told the same. A lot of drugs in pregnancy are a trade off though- of course you want to protect your baby as much as possible but you need to be well enough to function too.

Jaykay - I've been thinking about the holiday situation here too, as our leave period runs form Jan-Dec (well at the moment it does, may change which will complicate things further) and I wanted to use mine after ML but stagger it, a few days a week, when I go back sometime between Jan and April. As Bumble says, are you allowed to carry any over at all? Was also wondering what would happen if went into labour early (likely for me with twins) and ML was triggered when still supposed to be using hols as would then have been prevented from using hols so may change things. I am going to speak to my boss about it this week but suspect it will come down to HR and they will probably be arsey about it. Their mat policy is really vague, i.e. "leave is accrued during ML" and that's it, and my contract says leave must be used in current year unless off sick, but doesn't mention any other special circumstances. Am hoping it might come down to 'at the discretion of head of dept' or something... Oh, just remembered, I was reading this before, don't know if it's relevant to you or not.

BEEwitched · 07/01/2014 11:19

sleepy Glad to hear baby is well, and I'm sorry hear about your bp - that might be causing your headaches, as well. Can you rest for the rest of the day?

We are booked in for NHS classes at the beginning of March - she thought it was a bit early, but didn't have the dates for April yet and I had a peek at the sheet that had the two other ladies on it, and one is due beginning of May, the other one day before me, so I'll fit in ok!

I mentioned the fact that I'd thought of doing NCT and she said to make sure I get booked early, she had a girl that turned down the NHS classes, tried to get into NCT and couldn't and then when she came back couldn't get the NHS ones either because they were booked up. Not a great situation to be in!

SleepyNess · 07/01/2014 11:44

Bumble, that's what I thought too BUT she basically said they won't let me do hospital one now that she knows im doing NCT 'because some people can't afford NCT'! Shock

Bumblebeesmum · 07/01/2014 12:12

Sleepy that's outrageous make a complaint. You shouldn't be being denied access to things.

Riblet / Jaykay I believe your work HAVE to let you roll over holiday that was booked but could not be taken due to no fault of your own (long term sickness / maternity) I think there was a court case re long term sickness that changed it & it is presumed to be same for maternity but it really depends on the attitude of your HR & whether they keep ahead of all that stuff (or care). I'm not bothering to push it with mine though so am going to accept using up enormous numbers of weeks in advance & rolling over the 1 week that they allow.

And to those worrying about starting ML early & so having t return earlier - if your finances allow you can apply for 4 weeks parental leave (unpaid) to be added on to end. I think you're entitled to 8 weeks unpaid leave total before your child is 4/5ish but can't remember exactly. Obviously a v expensive option but worth knowing about if you can do it

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