January 2014 (Thread 6) - The Lies and Truth of pregnancy..... Read on!!

[LittlePeaPod]

Lie = Your glowing vs Truth = Your sweating, freezing, puking and an emotional basket!

Lie = After the first trimester your ms will disappear vs The truth = It will be there in the second trimester and the third..... and probably after you give birth! Get used to it!

Lie = You don't look even look pregnant vs The truth = whatever, you look pregnant from space!

Lets see what we learn from the second trimester!

pod you are so organised! We're getting a lot of stuff from Dsil but can't wait to get cot and nursery furniture although we will have to get all the junk out of the nursery room first
Hope everyone is finding ways to keep cool, I usually run my wrists under the cold tap for five mins for abit of quick relief

Ahh, pod thats so exciting! I can't wait to start buying big things, i've had my pram picked out since we started trying! Strangely my SIL is due in Oct to.

tooth they did (am an Egyptologist in rl ). Sensible chaps, the Egyptians. My mw doesn't book the gp appts (shared care in newham, lucky me...) so it's up to me to remember. So far so good, but I know I'll forget one. The receptionist lady was lovely though when I said what it was for - she said 'oh how lovely, normally I have people who are ill or in pain, this is much nicer!' .

Keeping cool - I have six 500ml bottles of water chilling in the fridge, and sit with my feet rolling on two at a time. Lush. Also icelollies, salad, and windows wide open as soon as temperature drops.

Just caught up, and now forgot what everyone has said. Although the general consensus is that it's too damn hot!! Hate it, I'm such a winter baby I don't like the summer at all, even when it's not sweaty. Maybe I'm just depressing! But spare a thought for the women who are huuuuge in this heat. Would not like to be 8/9 months gone right now!

tooth look up ravelry. I'm currently making the Amish puzzle ball in black and white. V monotonous but can do it in small pieces then put together so i don't need to concentrate for long periods of time!

I'm having nightmares about having the baby and not knowing what to do, and the baby starves etc. Plus with bleeds and worry and lack of decent sleep I'm feeling v depressed ATM :( wondering if I should be making an appointment with a dr. I know its mainly circumstantial with some pregnancy hormones thrown in so not sure they can actually do anything!

bluecarrot- i'm with you on feeling down. all of a sudden I'm feeling really overwhelmed at the thought of DC3. I'm in the middle of a career change (I'm studying and also working a little in my new field, though generating almost no income yet, though I had hoped that 2014 would be my year) and (obviously) this will slow me down and will delay the time when I can work again properly. I'm doing bits and pieces of work at the moment and will get a big project done (more or less) before the baby arrives, but I'm terrified that I've wreaked my chances of career change. I just feel like a bit fat failure.

I've had PND twice and an ectopic last year, so I'm anxious about PND a third time (and worried that I won't enjoy DC3 at all for the first 6-8 months). My GP is being great to keep an eye out for ante-natal depression, and I'm seeing my counsellor again this week. Midwife is also being great, and though I'm not due to see her again for a few weeks, she did say to call if I was feeling anxious. Maybe I'll call her on Monday. So I'd say def call your dr on Monday- sometimes knowing they're aware you might need more help can itself help.

Sorry but I need a rant.

So still on the Amsterdam hen do. We are having lots of work done on house at moment and since being preg I haven't been able to help much so dh dad came down this weekend while I'm away to move furniture etc. when I said this earlier I got snidey comments that I was falling into a pregnant lady status very easily. Well sorry that I'm not risking another mc by lifting a 4 seated sofa/ oven etc.

Now we were all in a bar where another group started smoking weed. I said I'm going to wait outside as don't want to breathe it in. They all started going on about how ill be fine and it won't affect me. So had a big row saying its my choice. I've come back to the hotel. We'd only been out half an hour. I'm so pissed off and upset

I agree about this heat. I am much more comfortable when its cold.
My cousin is due in 4 weeks and is really suffering.

Wow pod you are ahead of the bunch. We will be borrowing everything except a cot-bed (its too big to transport) from my lovely sister. Really need to be saving and I grew up with hand-me-downs so quite like the idea of sharing in the family. Then if my sister has another everything (plus any extra we get) will go back to her.
Really not bothered with the whole hassle of getting everything new, will have plenty of time to buy it brand new stuff when it grows up so we are going to fully take advantage of the freebies while we can

Oh MrsVDB! I totally get that you're doing what's right or you and your baby, and that it's really hard when others are being so unkind! Cd you make a virtue of your early night, and get good movie on demand in hotel, along w big tub of ice cream?

mrssV that sucks. Can't win on the what-you-can-or-can't-do thing. Stick to your guns! I'm sure your friends'll be reasonable or too weak to have a go in the morning. Hang in there you'll be home soon.

blue that puzzle ball rocks! I so jealous you can crochet! Am tempted to give crocheting a go again...

humpty you're an Egyptologist? Now THAT is cool!

Hmm, I'm going to check that weather forecast.

Woohoo! There's a knitted puzzle ball too!!!

Sultanajo I wish I could borrow too but no such luck...

Humpty we actually went in to get our first little baby outfit. We wanted something cute for the baby to come home in from the hospital. Instead got other bits and no outfit lol

Tooth I may try that water, fan trick tomorrow because I have been dying. Got a really bad headache too and putting it down to the heat. I actually considered sticking my head in the freezer to try cooling it down,....... Didn't but put a couple of plastic bottled waters in to freeze and then let thaw whilst slowly drinking.

Baby I will be trying your wrist trick too.

MrsGSR the pram part was so stressful at first as I never considered how many they are. But finally found one and it has adapters for the car seat which is great... I bet you can't wait to get yours.

Blue/Apparently sorry you feel down. Sending you hugs and

MrsV I am so sorry you are having a nightmare. I thinks it's unfair for them to behave like that. They should know better. I would be really upset too.

humpty Egyptologist was my dream job when I was a kid, was obsessed with the tutunkahmun (?). Exhibition at the museum in Liverpool every holiday!! That must be a fab job!!

mrsvdb that is shit. Hen dis are hard enough anyway without the ladies not being supportive!! I am currently being kept awake by a BBQ outside - DH and our mates, all a bit pissed doing that shouty talking as they get more involved in the conversation ... Really not realised how irritating drunk people are... Normally right in the thick of it!!

blue apparently hope you're ok. Not sure why today is a downer... I'm with you on that one! Lets hope tomorrow is better.

I'm also going to be borrowing as much as poss. We seem to have a stream of supplies on their way, mates keep turning up with stuff. Love it as we're saving for so much dull stuff at the moment (house extension etc)

Hope all manage to sleep tonight xx

mrs v so sorry to hear folks are not being understanding. You are totally right to stick to your guns! It's just do shit how everyone else suddenly becomes an expert when your pregnant.
blue hugs to you! I had an awful dream the other night were I could just hear this robot like voice telling me I would loose the baby. I guess it's hormones and it preying on your mind but defiantly speak to Gp or midwife they are here to look after us
sarahjayne I've got a pal whose 8 months with twins!!

So I am coming to the conclusion that my house may be haunted as first the radiator came off the wall on Friday and I've just been woken up by the mirror taking a tumble as well. Scared the life out of me so well and truely awake. I've not got out of bed that fast for a long time!!!

pod that's so exciting that you've started buying proper things. We are lucky in that my dsis kept everything for us (although the car seat has expired we realised yesterday) so we should only need to buy a few bits. Sad I won't get the excitement of buying it new but pleased about the money. I had a little money meltdown yesterday. We've spent so much of our savings on the house recently and little bean came along a lot quicker than we had anticipated (which we are over the moon about) but hadn't given me time to rebuild our savings back up to what I would have liked. Is anyone else worried about how they will cope on mat pay?

mrsvdb sorry people have been so insensitive and your hen do has sucked. I can't imagine a worse place to go when pg and it must be gutting thinking of the money you spent as well. I hope the bride really appreciates the effort you've made.

Hope the weather cools down for those that are struggling. I'm off on my jolly hols today. I'm hoping I'll be ok with the heat with the pool to cool down in. So I'll be disappearing for a week. Annoying though as in the last few days I've developed a cold and cough . Just what I wanted for going away!

toby (I'm sure it was you but it's early and my brain is mush!) I had my threading done yesterday. After the pain of the leg and bikini wax the threading seemed like light relief .

And I think that is all I can remember! Have a good week everyone and I'll try to catch up but the speed you guys talk unlikely! when I'm back

:o nature. I bet it did! Have a lovely holiday

Sorry some of you are feeling down

I'm actually enjoying the heat, which I realise makes me a freak. We went to the County Show yesterday and had a lovely hot time!

pod, you're very organised indeed!

mrsv, I utterly loathe hen dos at the best of times. I have been married twice and never had one! I think you're very brave to have gone at all. I'd have cancelled . And your FIL should fuck right off :o

We're very lucky and will be borrowing practically everything. My sister's gorgeous DS is 20 months and is also a winter baby, so his clothes will be perfect. She has a car seat, toys, bouncy chair, etc etc. She has my cot, so by the time she's done with it we can have it back. She has a changing table, which sadly we'll be unable to use due to having no space for it (the baby won't have its own room and there's no space in ours for a changing table). She's offered me a moses basket but I hate them so not taking that! And she's offered her (£1000) pram, but we're only not taking that because I want a different one
So we need a pram and a crib and we're done!

Going home today woop (after a beer bike!) thanks everyone. I've woken up a bit more positive today. toby my fil is being lovely. It's my knob head friends that are the problem!!

Oh, I'm sorry! I read it like he was making the snidey comments because he had to move your furniture

So sorry some of you are feeling so down. Definitely get/stay in touch with GPs/mw to ensure any issues can be resolved early. Hope u guys are ok.

toby ummmm enjoying the heat??? Am well jel of anyone in that position but very happy for you!

nature have a fab holiday!!! The pool will be your new best friend!,

mrsv bet u r chuffed to bits to be coming home today. That sounds so unbelievable that your friends would not respect your feelings! I hope they realise how badly they behaved!!! That makes me so mad! I suppose we should get used to that as I am finding everyone has a strong opinion on bringing up kids and they arent afraid to tell you... Time to develop a thick skin!

I was in Asda the other day and the family in front of me at the checkout had such a cute baby who was crying. Eventually the mum picked him up which calmed him down a bit. When they left the woman on the check out tutted and said to me "that child has been spolit - mummy picks him up too much". I didnt comment because it wouldnt have made a difference, but inside I thought "you judgemental cuntpuffin - how do know whats going on with that family? Fuck off!!!"

Well ended up in a & e last night with DH who is having ear problems - thankfully we were only there an hour and got home at midnight. Saw one poor guy who had the most horrendous sunburn!!!

Am just over 16 weeks now and making myself sleep on my side. What I am finding is every night I wake up with horrendous hip pain in both hips, which radiates down my legs. Is/has anyone else had this and any tips on preventing it?

Have tried a pillow between my legs which doesnt help. This morning they are still really achey and sore just sitting or walking around.... Have my mw appointment Tuesday, but thought I would ask u lovely bunch for advice first.

Sultana - perhaps its just pressure on your hip joints since you dont normally sleep on your side? How old is your mattress? Is there another one in the house you could try for one night and see if it makes a difference?

I used to get awful pressure point pain and thought it was just my lot (after car accident) but then I switched to a memory foam type mattress and voila! Its an amazing difference.

Hey blue. The mattress is only a year old and have also been intermittently sleeping on the sofa and I get it on there too.... Hmmmm

How are u feeling today?

Hmm, Im not really sure what else to say! How do you normally sleep? Id love a big doughnut shaped mattress so I could place bump in the hole in the middle and sleep on my belly again.

Im still blue! Partly my DP being a useless lump a lot of the time. If someone observed us yesterday they would have thought it was him supposed to be on bedrest and I was mightily peeved. I dont do non-productivity well at the best of times, but Id have been ok to sit and crochet / knit and read a parenting book IF there wasnt so much housework to do. He just tells me to stop stressing out and I wanna throw something at him and tell him to stop being so freaking laid back (lazy).

Rant over. Feel mildly better now ;) Thankfully he does have redeeming features but right now they are somewhat overshadowed. Hopefully temporarily!

Need to do some positive mental imaginings (cant think of proper words!) as I keep dreaming that I neglect the baby in some way and it dies. I have a DD and was a childminder so I def know what Im doing with kids! Many are about failing to breastfeed then not trying an alternative fast enough and the baby starves.

Just been trying to catch up with the thread...seems I'm not the only one struggling with the heat!! Plus I'm very fair skinned so its factor 30 for me :( . sorry to all of you that are feeling a bit down, not sure who said they were concerned about their career...I also feel the same after just graduating...but trying to put it to the back of my mind. Having a baby feels right for us now...I might use this as an opportunity to start my own business.

Re Maternity pay....I am also concerned about how we will survive. I have recently had a substantial pay rise and now can't imagine having to take a massive cut. We are trying to put money away as we have just put our house on the market and are looking to buy a house that is 100% ours (currently in a shared ownership scheme). Keen to sell quick as after the baby is here we won't be able to borrow as much on our mortgage. But if it doesn't happen...we will just stay put for now.

Well I'm finally 12 weeks (12+1 today) :) yay....scan is on Wednesday. Can't wait to see little bean, its so frustrating having to keep a secret, only a few people know at the moment.

Lovely to hear about all the baby buys. I'm going to try and get some of the bigger stuff second hand as it is much cheaper and more realistic for our budget...won't be buying anything until I see bean at the scan.

blue I slept on my front for years, then last year trained myself to sleep on my back in preparation for bubs. Thanks for your help! A massive donut sounds like an awesome idea!

How frustrating your DP is not helping you like he should, which is trying to replicate the way u like things done so u can chill out. Not helped by your horrible dreams! I have read they are really common in pregnancy, but thats not gonna make you feel much better. I have found that writing down anything I am worrying about in my pregnancy diary has helped me to let go a bit of some insecurities - at least taken away the intensity. Perhaps worth a try? Have kept it well hidden though...

Sultana, I had the same with my first pg. Are you naturally quite slim, narrow hips? I think the reality is that things are stretching and the strain of the growing baby pulls on your hips and ligaments/muscles and tendons in the night as you lie in your side with the weight pulled to one side. I have a banana shaped pillow which I tuck under my tummy which allows me to just about still sleep on my front (not sure this will still work at 16 weeks though) but another trick is to tuck it under your back, pushing up the side of your back which is of the bed (if you are on your side). This allows you to lean back n it, taking the weight off your tummy.
Also, ref nt test, I haven't had bloods back yet but my measurement was 1.8 mm and I am also an old bird at 35, so I imagine my risk will be high too. I am not too worried yet as IMO 1.8 is low enough but I have been thinking about it. I also agreed with the person who said that (sadly) the risk of lots of other issues is a lot higher and some of these wont be picked up at all until the baby is born. My ds1 was born with severe hypospadias which I hadn't even heard of (mangled up urethra, deformed willy, he peed out of an opening above his scrotum etc). Despite his being a severe case this wasn't picked up at the 20 week scan. It was pretty awful belong told, you have a baby boy, he has hypospadias, we will send a paediatrician over later. WHAT? Anyhow, point is that you can't predict everything, but if you are worried and can do more detailed testing to be more sure if the risk of ds, then go for it. That is what it's there for if you want to know more. It's not for everyone clearly. Other news...ds 2 dislocated his elbow for the second time last weekend which was a bit stressful but other than that all good and I am enjoying the cooler weather x