March 2013 VI: cooking, crocheting and chit-chat

[theTramp]

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1558560-March-2013-Mk-V-Lumpy-bumpy-witty-knitters-patiently-await-the-bloom?msgid=34370452#34370452

And on with the conversation

Should have been a obviously!

Oh Zoey that's a bit complicated. It sounds like his heart's in the right place, though, and that he regrets his past behaviour ? which is all good. Perhaps you just need to talk to him, explaining that you feel he's trying to make up for it, but that there's no need to continue making lavish gestures, especially if they remind you of the previous lack of support and hurt he caused you? If he hears that it's enough that he's there, present, focused on you and your needs, and (importantly!) not faffing about with other women (grrr) then that is enough?

DH is doing a lot for me at the moment and that is good and makes things a hell of a lot easier. If I'm thirsty he gets me a drink. He takes my boots and socks off at the end of the day. He is cooking and cleaning and decorating more than his fair share. I feel ridiculous, but I really value his help, and I need it too. So try to accept that you do need his extra support, but maybe try to remind him that the big gestures aren't necessary in addition if they are reminding you of previous sad times?

I'm sure you'll work it through.

Manda is definitely our best namechecker, I read posts and think oh I must reply to this or that and by the time I get to reply i doubt who posted what and who I was going to reply to

Zoey that is a tough one, agree with Manda about having a chat with him, although good that is he is trying to make sure you know he's there 100%

I think we are carrying on as normal, think I need a proper bump (instead of fat tummy) and some visible movements to make it abit more real for us, dcs have been taking it in turns to be off colour this weekend, I'm just hoping dd1 & I get our flu jabs before any body brings it home to us!

Oooh backward that's a great tip!
zoey I have been through similar with DH (not other women, but problems between us that warranted counselling and nearly ended in divorce) and he is also being super attentive to me now. I'm trying to take this as just his mending of ways and excitement about the baby; it does grate sometimes but I am trying not to look a gift horse in the mouth, as it were.

And manda that's a great start to the day! Those lie-in week days are always so lovely

manda I was offered a 20 week scan before I was dc from hospital but as the MW that day had spent 3 minutes trying to locate the heartbeat digging around my abdomen was very painful. The docs that came round said I could have a scan if I wanted but if I found the Doppler too painful did I feel that I could lay still for 30 mins to have a detailed scan?! I agreed it would hurt too much and that I'd wait for my York appt!!

Hi all!

I had my 16 week MW appointment this morning and heard the heartbeat, was quite amazing, she LAUGHED at me when I asked if I was too big and told me my BMI was fine (ahem 29 is not fine!), so that was nice. I spoke to her about my hip and she said that she was reluctant to refer me to consultant as I have no restriction of movement and they would be rubbish.

She has totally turned me on to a homebirth, my goodness it sounds amazing. She said my maternity unit is ok, but don't support water or active or even really hypno-birthing and that I would need a VERY strict birth plan and someone to stand up for me. Going to see if I can read up about it.

Feeling more flutters and pops, had begun to convince myself I was imagining them, but we heard the baby move on the doppler and I felt the same feeling so she confirmed it. Baby ran away from doppler when i started laughing so didn't get to hear much and DH couldn't come as he had work so thinking of buying a doppler now too!

I want a rebel from that website someone linked, hubby surprised I haven't just bought it as it is SOOOOO me :)

Softly banging my head agains a wall after my gp appt this am. I really hope my MW appt is better.
He just didn't seem to know what to do with me, I gave him the letter from the consultant which explains the procedure I had and the outcome and he was asking me questions about it. He didn't check my scar, or my BP both are things you would do as standard! He didn't ask me about my pain relief or how I was feeling. And in relation to getting a referral to the antenatal clinic for post op care he told me to speak to the MW as he wasn't sure if I needed it or not?!?! WTF?

I ordered this one :)

Jojo that's crap. are you seeing the mw today?

ethel yes at 3 ish. I hope she's more helpful. I've not met her yet so fx she isn't as useless!!

Hello all, my round UK travels continue but am enjoying your news. Today I am hanging put with Hercule poirot in east poorly. just marking space and wishing you well xx

Tramp I have a Bugaboo Cameleon which we have used for the past 6 years and it still looks fab. The handle extends really high so should be good for a tallie? The covers come off to be washed really easily & it has an excellent re-sale value. I saw this on a local website if you wanted a second hand one - www.annabelsarcade.com/viewtopic.php?f=112&t=24430 We drive through Forest Hill a lot on the way to Kent. I keep meaning to take my boys to the Horniman - have you been? Also, When I have the changing mat on the chest of drawers (without a side edge too!). I use this for nappies/cream/wipes etc... www.spottygreenfrog.co.uk/Pintoy/Childrens-White-Wooden-Toy-Caddy-/p-192-700/ All 3 boys have one and they are a great size and fit well on the edge next to the changing mat.

Ethel That is basically where we live. It's lovely and green for London and very family friendly!

Zoey Your DH is amazing at surprises!! Lucky you

Ood Glad the party was a success. The food sounded delicious. I love cheese & Pineapple. In fact for my birthday this year my Mum made me some!

Three I have had 3 natural births & only a catheter with ds1 because I had an epidural. I don't think you would for any other reason.

JoJo I hope your apt goes well. My GP says to book in at any time to hear the heartbeat which is very lovely of them.

Tiddley Yay for a fab scan and well done on your willpower by not finding out the sex!

Bambi Welcome back and poor you re: sickness. Glad pudding still stays down. A perfect excuse to eat cake!

Manda My brothers went to private schools in Oxford, there are some amazing ones there. I did send the dress back today, sadly not for me.

Backward well done on your bargain sling. They are gorgeous. I fancy a moby for when the baby is tiny too because they look so snug. I have a fab Ergo for when he is a bit bigger.

Sundae Glad your apt went well.

Hope everyone else is well. So sorry if I have missed anyone. Had a dreadful night with ds3 who was sick in the night so lot's of crying and washing and re-settling. He seems Ok this morning, just grumpy & overtired so fingers crossed he wakes from his nap in a better mood. It's revolting weather here today, seems to be the norm for Monday's at the moment!

I am almost falling asleep at my desk today :( It seems I can't do two days of manic rushing around and heavy lifting without suffering. I could have cried getting out of bed this morning I ached so much! Good news is I went all weekend without feeling sick or having indigestion. Aside from seeing my parents I also saw my aunt and cousins and some of my mums friends. All this resulted in my first unexpected bump pat and exclaimations about how huge I am! I'm quite proud of my bump now :)
If anyone needs a comfortable black skirt, I can recommend this It arrived on Friday and I wore it - so comfortable.
I'm feeling so overwhelmed with love for the baby today. I keep thinking about DH and I shopping at the weekend, looking at the cute clothes and moses baskets and want to sob! I think I just felt a much stronger kick too, low down in the middle which was lovely. I'm so so excited.
Crikey zoey the razor incident sounds scary, are you ok? Worrying that your mw doesn't know about incompetant cervix.
hamnvik I am yet to see the same mw twice! There doesn't seem to be any continuity where I am, a random one just seems to turn up each time. They always seem a bit rushed too. I'm hoping this changes later.
manda Your morning sounds lovely. I quite like the sound of your grey paint, is it a Farrow & Ball one? I must confess I have repainted a room not long after having done it. It was our study which we painted off white and I decided it reminded me too much of work.
Yay for hearing heartbeat sundae.
Your GP sounds frustrating JoJo. I had a frustrating one the first time I was pg and the mw I saw later on basically told me not to listen to doctors about pregnancy! Wasn't sure what to make of that :)
Poor DS pink. Hope he is better this afternoon.
Oh yes - has anyone seen a Phil & Teds cocoon? I'm thinking of getting one instead of a carrycot.

Just quickly popping in to say Oh. My. God. I can no longer see my lady bits for a hair removal tidy-up in the shower!!! What do other people do when bump gets this big?! I normally trim with scissors and then shave around and about (sorry, TMI!!) and I'm not wielding sharp implements if I can't see what I'm doing! I have only been for a professional wax once ... and never, ever again (the pain!)

Wow, I must have had a growth spurt without realising it ...

sheldonella, I have a p&t cocoon, the one I have isn't that structured so I don't know if you would use it as a carrycot (I have a Moses already, so never even thought about it!)

Manda, I go for waxing and that always gets it sorted!

I tend to use a mirror manda against the bathroom door and a bowl of water so i can ahhhhhm rinse razor and can sit down and see what I am doing, that also works well with veet depending on how low bump is and what you can see

I had a wax done once and am aneamic so by the time the bruising went the hair was growing back so never again!!!!

Sheld the cut is ok is still bleeding so have nurse in a bit - its more the shame of how stupid I was doing it in the first place what a complete idiot and it got me in trouble with DH as you can see the razor was 5 blades which is his as mine is only 3 - hehe! Prob worse as its all down the side of my boob and I have no choice but to wear a bra!

Ethel Does it work well in the pram? I saw the carrycot at the weekend but it looked quite narrow so was wondering about the cocoon instead. Sorry I wasn't clear - I only want to use it with the pram and am going to get a moses basket for home.

JoJo wot a crap doc! Hope MW was better!

I think a sit down and a mirror might be the way to go! Bit scary - isn't everything backwards in a mirror?! (eek!)

Sheldon port thing! Sounds like you definitely overdid it at the weekend. Relaxing evening ahead, I hope? No-one has patted my bump yet (apart from my Mum and a five-year-old) but this reminds me of how fascinated I've always been with pregnancy bumps and I have had rather irrational urges to touch them (though I think I've always resisted, unless invited!) Ah, it was pink's grey paint (gorgeous: www.littlegreene.com/french-grey). I really wish I had come across this as it's pretty much what I wanted and would be great in our very light downstairs hallway especially but instead we've gone for www.dulux.co.uk/colour/gentle_fawn. The colour was much greyer and less pink in the tester. The result is that the walls are far, far lighter than I wanted. Must keep reminding self that this is very much better than the brightish yellow they were before (with clashing magnolia-ish woodwork!)

Sundae - yes! hurray for heartbeat!

Lexi glad your DH is making efforts too.

hurray for big bump my job!

aw, sorry again the dress didn't work out pink. and your poor wee lad. Hope he's doing better this afternoon.

Dame Hercule?!

Sheldon on the actual buggy it will be fine. That's what we are intending using initially instead of our M&P pram. I must admit, we haven't used it yet as I bought it really for DD when we are out and about, when she was about 18 months, plus our friends have borrowed it for their newborn. But they seem to like it!

Oh my god, all this talk of mirrors and scissors down there us making me feel a bit anxious! I actually have started going for brazilians recently, I always used to just go for a regular bikini wax. The brazilian is soo much less painful because it's a totally different technique. Rather than painting on the wax with a spatula and then applying the strip and ripping it off, which can hurt, what they do is put some oil on your general fanjo area, then apply the wax which then itself dries to form the wax strip. They then pull that off, but because of the oil, it doesn't pull on your skin half as much. It is far far better than regular waxing!!

manda I think the grey is lovely!
JoJo sorry to hear about your doc, how bloody unhelpful they can be. I hope you can get some more reassuring care soon.
Am v excited as just got date for start of loft extension - Nov 5th. All structural work done by Xmas, with a few bits & pieces to be done early Jan. Very relieved - had told DH to give builder a kick up the backside as if structural work was going to drag on past Christmas we should cancel till baby was older. Am paranoid this little one will make an early appearance - I was 5 weeks early - so this had been really stressing me out!

MW was far more positive and enjoyable experience!! She had a student with her today and they were both impressed with my scar!!
The student found baby's heartbeat immediately which was hugely reassuring! I'll be seeing a consultant at my scan on Wednesday (that wasn't so difficult to organise - not sure why the GP made such a song and dance about the whole thing).
May have to have a c-section but that's not a definite and just depends on how well I heal up internally!
All in all much better afternoon.

zoey how are you healing up?
manda people have started feeling my bump now... Luckily none of them were strangers!! - I'm also going to tackle the fuzz problem this evening, first time with the bump so it should be interesting!!!

I had a walk in Browns yesterday and was stunned every time I passed a mirror, double taking a lot and just being generally shocked at the very apparent bump I now have!!!

Sheldon the cocoon was the thing I loved best with the P&T I had. Boys were always v cosy in it & I even used it as a bed when we went away. It was perfect because it folds to next to nothing & made them feel secure when they were tiny. I used to also use it in my Bugaboo carrycot to make that feel more cosy. It's fab if you are taking an older child to Playgroup/music classes etc.. Because you can just carry the cocoon into the class and not wake baby. In fact I think I might buy another for the double baby jogger I am going to get!

Manda you don't need to apologise for the dress. Different things suit different people and it was too short & booby on me! I also get Brazilian's. I go to a fab salon where like the one Ethel goes too they use oil first & then hot wax and I promise you it doesn't really hurt I am a total wuss with pain too but have a proper conversation whilst she is doing it. The only part that bothers me is having up wear no knickers at all

The French Grey paint is gorgeous. We have it in various shades downstairs & we are painting our kitchen cupboards in it too. I think we will then use French Grey Pale on the walls. Little Greene Paint is great because you can buy it in a scrub able version!

JoJo glad your apr went well & good Luke for your scan

Thanks for the cocoon info Ethel and pink, it sounds ideal. I guess it means if used the the P&T pram then the baby is not parent facing? I don't think I mind unless there is something I'm missing.

manda We have a yellow hallway too. Most of the house was yellow when we bought it, the previous owners were real fans. Hmm, I like the sound of doing it grey.