The Deli gets funky: Ah, PESH it good - P-PESH IT REAL GOOD!

[Scorpette]

This fred ain't for everybody - only the menkul wimminz!

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Casserole, girl born?

UPDIFFED

Scorpette, not top of the list at all, lalala, I can't hear you!, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
Rocketleaf, sprouting out all over the place, due 1st June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.
kat2504, 25 sticks pissed on and counting, due 5th December.

Laurie I can't quite believe it's time for you to finish work already - how did that happen? Hope the good week continues. I did think of trying to count how many days I've got left (having just about decided when I'm going to finish, although emails checking this is OK have been ignored thus far) but suspect it'll be too depressing!

Rocket if you're serious about still taking orders, I'd love a pair of shoes in any colour that's not pastel. Am happy to pay in money/chocolate/sexual favours (although given how out of practice I am at the latter I suspect one of the former would be preferable!). Will go and fb stalk you just because.

GG look after yourself - you're allowed to be sad about the one you lost, as well as over the moon about the ever-growing one.

Belated thanks for thoughts on suits (probably about 3 threads back now) - I managed to buy one the other day, putting a large dent in the credit card in the process. Now I just need to sort the shirt bit of the outfit and all will be well. Someone suggested I'm going to need to have 6 kids to get my money's worth from the jacket; I think I'm just going to have to find lots of reasons to wear it! Or something.

It's not really organised, more that my brian wouldn't function to do what I was supposed to be doing so did that to ward off panic! Good news is that I have figured out where I was going wrong and am happily working away again now.

Where are you going sprocket? It's going to be a beautiful weekend! Have a lovely time

ski I misread that as the bear attemtping to toddle on horseback! Was vay impressed at the G&T ESHspring!

Stiffy, I'm probably totally mistaken, as am in the 'No-one in my family has got past 36+5' panic zone currently...

Occy, a good jacket is always an investment :)

occie you are on zee list.

biteyjust my folks for a few days. I'll be honest if I'd known it was going to be this lovely we might havegone another time. I suspectthe M6 is going to be hell with last minute trippers but what can ya do! Back on sat so at least will be able to enjoy the rest of the BH at home (bah humbug!)

Hospital bags packed already . Eh, think I bought some attractive paper knickers weeks ago & threw them in the general direction of a large bag - does that count?

LadyG Don't be too hard on yourself. You're allowed to feel sad & happy at the same time.

My last day is going nicely - 1 more hour until my out of office is switched on. No more gifts, but I think I've had a fair few anyway, haven't I? Lots of well wishing phone calls which have resulted in over-use of the kleenex. I can't believe that after 3 long years of trying we've managed to reach this point. I'm now just beyond excited to meet Bug, see what flava he/she is, what he/she looks like, snuffle them........... At the moment I think he/she is buried under a heap of blueberry muffin & hot x buns. That's a nutritious lunch, right?

I am glad I hinted desperately asked.

GG I have a friend due right at the time I would have been and it's so strange so I understand the :(

Loz Enjoy the last day!

Alps Toddling and horse-riding... talented little boy!

My boy is all over the place these days. Not sure what position he's in but there is a lot of dancing on my bladder going on

I am having my last 'me time' tea and cake moment before the in-laws arrive and take over my house It's pear and chocolate if anyone wants some...

X-posted loz
'awwwwww'. That's all.

Bloody hell, many things.

Lozza hoorah for the final day - and double hoorah for the impending snuffling :) Nice pants, btw.

Tis clearly A Sign, you lot. I also have no idea what to do with the boiling water or the towels.

GGGGG I went through a patch of that in January when due date for mc went past (which naturally coincided with 12 week scan for Owlet, joy). I still feel I've lost something irreplaceable - I guess that doesn't go away, it's not just losing the pregnancy, it's losing the happy excited 'nothing can go wrong' feeling that went with it that I haven't been able to get back. So much more worrying this time around. Plus my SIL had her baybee recently and I cannot help but feel mine should be here and 3 months old by now - which makes me feel like a bit of a whinging cah for not just appreciating my lovely new auntieness and Owlet. Oh well. Basically I was going somewhere with this but have lost the plot so will just send sympathetic hugs and the obligatory kicks in the head.

Bites wtf? You have packed a bag? You mentalist. I'm not packing anything until the last minute.

Plenty of fruit in that lunch, Loz Whenever you feel that bottom lip trembling at the life-shift taking place, just remember those 3 looooooong yrs and rub that lovely bump :)

I have applied my usual anal psychopath approach to all packing with my hossie bag and have had it packed for weeks. Includes things like shampoo & conditioner samples out of mags, paper pants and cheapo belly warmers, even a cheap little plastic jug, as everyone who's had a baby has recommended pouring warm water over your bits when you have your first post-baby pisses. I will be taking a mini suitcase, small bad of post-birth stuff (like a change of outfit for me and TYF each) and a freezer bag of grub (goodies to be cooked and those and freezer blocks to be put in freezer over next few days). I scare myself.

My bowels are completely fine today, you bunch of bastards!

PS Meant to add - my heart absolutely goes out to those ESH who've had mcs and similar Biggest, squeeziest hugs to all...

Scorps can I pay you to pack my bag? I think you could make a career out of this.

My sympathies also to you lot thinking about other DDs and stuff like that.

And I am in utter awe at that hospital bag packing. I got halfway through and lost concentration, and bag space. I think it's in everyone's best interests for me to pull off the whole home birth thing.

Let's talk rates, Booty

(I'm quite messy and lazy, so I dunno where I get my mentalist need for order with things like packing from. Control freakery, no doubt)

Am off to see my brother et al soon. How long will we last before we have a massive row? Our longest time is @2 hours. Perhaps his gf's parents being there might calm him the fuck down (I love him but he can be such a rude, hyper twat). Wish me luck!

I did my bag at 36 weeks, mainly because I was going to my parents for the weekend, and it seemed sensible to have stuff with me.

So, no-one wants my disposable pants? I promise they are unused :)

They wouldn't fit me! I've got some cheapo Sainsburys ones.

In a conundrum I never, ever thought I'd had, I'm worried about what to wear after the birth because I seem to have lost quite a bit of weight. My pre and post birth yoga pants keep falling down now, so I feel they are unlikely to do me many favours once the bump disappears. My lovely maternity jeans are also only on their halfway fastening. I was banking on wearing mat stuff for a while really. My other clothes might fit but I'm not sure how comfortable they'll be. Can I live in pants?

Yo hags, with all of this Facebook talk I am starting to feel that I need more friends. Have tried some stalking to no effect (I wouldn't cut it as a private eye - only managed to find one ESH - I think!) so if anyone would like to humour me be friends, my FB link is on my profile. Thank you pliz.

Loz your last day sounds lovely, I hope to follow your lead and spend my last few days at work before mat leave graciously accepting generous gifts, smiling as people say lovely things about me and sharing around the cakes.

GG big hugs for you, hope the next few weeks are easier than you expect and that you get lots of hugs and Easter eggs from Mini and Mr G.

Scorps I hope that the lad decides to put in an appearance just as you feel you cannot stand any more time with your bro

Meds I would of course love the paper pants, but for the time being am not thinking about anything connected with the padawan actually coming out, the sickness is enough to contend with, without finding even more reason to boak!

TGB came in late last night after seeing his team get beaten at Chelsea, he and his bro (our house guest for the night) were extremely drunk but luckily I fell back to sleep quickly and only woke once in the night for a quick kick to stop the snoring (him not me - yet) This morning he was all hangover nice with cuddles and 'can't wait to see you later' 'I'll be back early' and has just phoned me to say he is still in the pub because he's 'having a nice time' (he sounds quite merry, the lightweight) So this means I can mosey on home and watch all the crap I have Sky plussed and lounge on the sofa without feeling guilty that my boringness is encroaching on his bank holiday fun - woo hoo!

Tomorrow I have an appointment to get my hair brazilian blowdried and have made a date with House of Fraser to make the most of their 50% off sale and stock up on fluffy towels and crisp bed linen - heaven. On Sunday I shall mostly be eating Easter eggs, followed by roast lamb, followed by Easter egss. I'm all about the rock n roll.

I consider today to have been something of a triumph, having made it to gone 5pm with only 2 incidents of vomiting - check me oot!

My Carin Bleu wrap arrived. I'm glad I emailed them in a panic asking to switch to a large, I think a medium would have been too small.

It is very white and scaring me a little. I may get some fabric dye and make it purple or something. I have a baby outfit I want to dye too as it is a weird peachy pink colour.

That was quick delivery, Muse. Dylon do some amazing shades :)

Fans of my bowels - and who isn't? I'm setting up an FB fan page, for those who need more frequent updates than on here - will be excited to know that I have had another poonami to rival any baby's. I also feel rough as a dog and 'odd'. I think it wouldn't be remiss to enjoy ScorpWatch over the next fortnight

I managed not to even get mildly annoyed with my brother. Well, apart from when he managed to spill half a bottle of red wine on my parent's new cream carpet and I even remained pretty zen about that (mainly because it has surely made me favourite child now, ha ha). Actually, he was v nice and when nagging me to tell him our chosen name, I said he could guess and he got it in 3 guesses, as he said it was the 'perfect' match for me and TYF.
Then he guessed at the middle name and got it in 2, and it's quite an unusual name so v spooky. He promises to provide The Lad with mucho Nijntje (Miffy) goodies from Amsterdam, though I had to have stern words about his desire to buy him footie team babygros

Truff, what is Brazilian blow-dried? Do they cut it into a thin mohican before drying, hur hur? Or is it a special technique?

Ooooh, wouldn't an Easter baby be just the thing for our resident atheist?

I wouldn't mind, seeing as Easter is actually a wonderful Pagan festival of fertility, renewal and hope, etc. Also chocolate. And, of course, his arrival will be more important and glorious than the Second Coming. So long as it doesn't stop me watching the new Dr Who ep.

SEE? I am unnaturally zen and easy-going. It's not natural for me. Summat odd MUST be going on.

I still think he's going to make his appearance on Friday, just to wind up his anti-monarchist parents...

Dr Who. I can't wait.

Oh Scorps you'll love it then, is the answer to all things frizz related. I had one just before Christmas and it's just wearing off so I wanted to have it done again. I got a good deal through Groupon so am trying somewhere new. This is a different product so I'll report back.

Just popping in for a spot of scorpswatch s(because i can not sleep in my rentals uncomfy spare bed :-() somat weird is going on with all this zen. Please can you just fit in packing my hossie bag before you lay? :)

Truffs sounds like a lovely weekend planned and well done on only puking twice. I think? Will stalk track you down on tother place when I get back home

Had a nice catch up with my friends last night and some faces from very long ago but everyone got very drunk and I got a little bored with it. boo missed you! But hope you had a lovely chilled night and spent some quality time with your boys.

Also I am getting a bit about people asking about names and then getting offended when I say we aren't discussing it. I might have been a little short but fgs if I am not discussing it with my family and close friends why would I bandy name choice with someone I have seen twice in the last 20 years! Think someone is heading for a FB ditch very soon.

Hope everyone has a lovely day! It's looking to ge a scorcher!

I have my own Google doc to cover every aspect of my hossie bag. And others to deal with shopping lists and plans, etc. And a large ringbinder file of baby info, tips and ideas I've clipped out of mags and papers. Why I've never thought of becoming a top PA, I don't know. Or possibly talking to someone about OCD, one or the other.

Rocket, I also get people being mardy when I won't tell them my name choice. Bro's girlfriend's mum got mardy with me yesterday because I said it was a secret. I mean, hello, I've literally just met you and you think it's your right to know? You wouldn't have stood a chance even if you and your DH didn't spend the entire time there chainsmoking roll-ups on my parents' patio and getting annoyed with me because I wouldn't sit amongst the fumes to chat with you

See? Back to being a whining cow? Yesterday must've been a rare blip

Me and TYF are supposed to be going into town today to get a few things we just can't order online and for him to get a haircut (he does now look like a druggy Californian 70s folk singer, haha). But I just don't know how I'm going to manage it. One of the shops we have to go to is - shock horreur! - half a mile from the car park and there's no way I can make it. The things I need are really specific in shops he doesn't go in and it really has to be me that finds the items. Half a mile - FFS!

V mememe, sorry.

Truff, does this special blow-dry make your hair straight? Cos I like my curls n waves, I just don't want to look like Leo Sayer from April - September.