Why see them after they’re gone?

[nevertherightweather]

I lost my mum 4 years ago. She was fairly young (had me very young) and should have had decades left. But cancer took her and I am heart broken.
I remember the day we had a call and was asked to go to hospital. So we hurried straight there. When we arrived we were put in a room and waited there for ages. Finally someone came and told us my lovely mum had a heart attack (due to cancer encroaching on her heart) and died. I was (still am) devastated because I never truly believed she would leave us. Next thing was “let’s go and see her”. And so I saw her there, lifeless and gone. It was awful. It haunts me to this day.

Do you think it’s really necessary to see your loved one after they’re gone? I don’t know. My partner thinks is but didn’t say why. I think about this horrid day a lot.
what do you think?

There's a cultural element too. In my country everyone does it. Maybe it's easier when you have seen many bodies to see your loved one. I would hate not to see any of my family after death, it's an important part of saying goodbye for me.

I was with my Dad when he died, never going to forget the death rattle. My DH wasn’t with his Dad when he died and didn’t see him, neither did my DMil. I got a call after my Mum died and chose to see her and spend time with her. I just needed to open the window and make sure she was ok. It’s such a personal decision and whatever is right for you, is the right decision.

Saw both my grandma and my dad in chapel of rest and last year sat with one of my best friends for 2hrs after she passed. A few people came. She looked so peaceful and was still warm when they came for her. For me its comforting and i’ll always choose to see someone I love but appreciate its a very personal choice.

It's a personal choice.

I think if you are unsure it is probably better to do than not because the "what if" can eat away at you. You may regret seeing them but it's easier to deal with that I think than spending life in regret imagining what they looked like, feeling that you should have said good bye and so on.

I often think that about Prince Harry and what he says about walking behind his mothers coffin. William was always going to do it and I think that if he hadn't, it would have eaten away at his soul into adult hood that his brother did but he didn't.

With these things, I would always do what you feel you want to do and if you don't want to that is fine. I was only saying if you have doubts, especially if its a first death experienced, its probably better to than not - unless of course you are advised against it because of the nature of the death like drowning or violence.