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Original poster

DH died today and I don’t know what to do

523 replies

Pleasedontdothat · 31/10/2023 18:26

He’d just turned 57 and was really fit but he’d been feeling vaguely under the weather for the last few days. I ended up taking him to a&e this morning as he had severe abdominal pain overnight but all his blood tests etc came back normal and they sent him home with instructions to see the GP. He went upstairs to have a lie down then said he was having a shower. I was downstairs on work calls. A couple of hours later I went upstairs to see if he wanted something for lunch and realised the shower was still running. I called out but no answer so went into the bathroom to find him collapsed on the floor - he was obviously dead. I don’t know how I’m going to cope . No point in this post but in some ways it’s easier than telling wider family and friends

OP posts:
Livebythecoast · 31/10/2023 19:32

I can't imagine how you're feeling and I've been through a sudden death albeit a few years ago so have had time to come to terms with it as much as anyone can. There really isn't any words apart from I'm so very sorry. Thinking of you and sending love ❤

Almahart · 31/10/2023 19:32

I'm so very sorry to hear this, I hope you have someone with you now. Sending love to you xxx

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 31/10/2023 19:33

I'm so sorry, OP. What a terrible shock.

I hope your family and friends rally round for you quickly. x

roundtable · 31/10/2023 19:35

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have friends and family supporting you 💐

Smurfmurf · 31/10/2023 19:35

I’m so very sorry. I hope you’ve got lots of support.

ScruffMuffin · 31/10/2023 19:35

I'm so sorry to hear this. How absolutely awful, and what a shock. He was so young as well. I really hope you can be with friends or family over the next few days as you begin to come to terms... but the shock and trauma is going to take a while to start to recede. Whatever you are feeling right now - numb, disbelief, sadness, anger, shock... is OK. There is no manual and no 'correct' way to feel or act.

Sadly, there's nothing any of us can say to really help practically or to cushion the shock. But there is always someone online if you want to talk. Would you like to tell us about your husband?

ScottBakula · 31/10/2023 19:36

I am sorry for your loss, I came home from work 5 years ago to find my 'healthy' DH dead in our bedroom.
The shock is immeasurable.

Because your DH died at home there will ( likely) be a inquest. It can take a few weeks to get a postmortem.

Right now you are in shock so I won't fill this post with advice, I will add some later on but please feel free to DM me if you would like more practical advice now.

Mrscmay17 · 31/10/2023 19:36

I'm so sorry 😞 thinking of you at this awful time

Namechange600 · 31/10/2023 19:36

OP I’m so sorry for your loss - so heartbreaking. I hope you have support and someone with you. Xx

Cantstopcoughing · 31/10/2023 19:37

Condolences OP 💐. Hope you’ve some real life support now.

SofiYol · 31/10/2023 19:37

I am so very sorry for your loss. We are here if you need us x

ForestofBears · 31/10/2023 19:38

I am so sorry. I hope you have someone who can be with you. My DH died very suddenly 2 years ago, and calling my parents and telling them was so surreal. I assume they told most other family but I don’t remember details. At this point it won’t seem real, it didn’t really seem real and a bit of me still expected him to come home for most of the first year. People will say take it one day at a time, but one whole day will probably be really overwhelming. Take it one minute at a time, and, if all you do in that minute is breathe in and out a few times, that’s ok. Eventually you will get to a place where taking it an hour at a time seems manageable.
My thread here (I had to get it deleted in the end for complicated reasons) was one of the main things that got me through the first days and weeks. There are always people here, even in the middle of the night, some of them have been through it and have advice, some of them haven’t but care.

Misspacorabanne · 31/10/2023 19:38

So so sorry op. Hope you have somebody there with you. Reach out if not. 💐

Amberlady · 31/10/2023 19:38

I'm so sorry for your loss, what a terrible shock for you. xx

Goldbar31 · 31/10/2023 19:39

I’m so sorry. I’m sending you love and you’re in my thoughts 💐💐

Mothership4two · 31/10/2023 19:40

So sorry for your loss FlowersFlowersFlowers

Bournetilly · 31/10/2023 19:41

I’m so sorry, this is awful x

empee47 · 31/10/2023 19:42

Really sorry to hear that, OP xx

mathanxiety · 31/10/2023 19:43

Oh goodness!

Do you have friends or family to support you? You must be so shocked.

mathanxiety · 31/10/2023 19:44

Condolences and sympathy to you too, @Winterscoming1

BalloonSlayer · 31/10/2023 19:45

I am so sorry.

EqualityWhatequality · 31/10/2023 19:45

I’m so so sorry for your loss. What an awful shock. You will be in my thoughts. I hope you have someone you trust to support you. 💐

BoreOfWhabylon · 31/10/2023 19:46

I'm so very sorry Flowers

CaptainMyCaptain · 31/10/2023 19:46

How terrible for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you have someone with you now.

ImTheMidsomerMurderer · 31/10/2023 19:47

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love and strength ♥️