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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

DH died today and I don’t know what to do

523 replies

Pleasedontdothat · 31/10/2023 18:26

He’d just turned 57 and was really fit but he’d been feeling vaguely under the weather for the last few days. I ended up taking him to a&e this morning as he had severe abdominal pain overnight but all his blood tests etc came back normal and they sent him home with instructions to see the GP. He went upstairs to have a lie down then said he was having a shower. I was downstairs on work calls. A couple of hours later I went upstairs to see if he wanted something for lunch and realised the shower was still running. I called out but no answer so went into the bathroom to find him collapsed on the floor - he was obviously dead. I don’t know how I’m going to cope . No point in this post but in some ways it’s easier than telling wider family and friends

OP posts:
KeeefBurtain · 31/10/2023 19:47

So sorry OP. Thoughts are with you

SoShallINever · 31/10/2023 19:48

I am so sorry.

Kwikx · 31/10/2023 19:49

I’m so so sorry for your loss. (Hug)

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 31/10/2023 19:49

I am so sorry for your loss OP x

MyCatsSlave · 31/10/2023 19:50

I’m so sorry for your loss x

WearyAuldWumman · 31/10/2023 19:50

Dacadactyl · 31/10/2023 18:42

Im very sorry to hear this. Let someone else know and ask them to tell other people on your behalf if youre not up to it.

Also (and this is practical advice, so I appreciate it is very early to be thinking about it, so I dont mean it to come across unsympathetically), but you may be able to claim a Bereavement Support Payment. I am only mentioning this in case your financial situation is difficult.

I am so very sorry. Please OP - tell a family member that you need them with you right now.

I lost my husband at home nearly 3 yrs ago. I was told by DWP that I was entitled to some form of Bereavement Support (not means tested) because I was not retirement age and my husband had made X amount of contributions.

OP I hope you've phoned family. You need someone with you. You're in shock at the moment.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 31/10/2023 19:50

I am so sorry for your loss OP.

I can't imagine. Please post for support here whenever you need. 🌷

Pleasegodgotosleep · 31/10/2023 19:51

I am unbelievably sorry for your loss. I wish you the strength to get through this 🙏

Hodgewell1 · 31/10/2023 19:51

I just couldn’t read and not reply to say I am so sorry for your loss. I hope family and friends will rally round you to look after you.

fuckmyuteruslining · 31/10/2023 19:51

Well this is ghastly OP I'm so sorry.

Hopefully you've got somebody telling friends and family for you. Ask them to set up a WhatsApp group and you can use that to communicate any info as and when you need to.

You probably don't want to eat something (though if you do then go for it and eat as much as you can as often as you can. If you can't face it then just keep drinking. Anything with milk or sugar in it. Maybe gallons of tea or bottles of Fanta or cartons of juice . Doesn't matter but your body is in shock and it needs fluid. It will help.

zeibesaffron · 31/10/2023 19:51

I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your husband ❤️❤️

endofthelinefinally · 31/10/2023 19:52

I am so, so sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock. I hope you have somebody with you. Flowers

Daffyyellow · 31/10/2023 19:52

I’m so sorry OP. Please make sure you have someone with you.
💐💐💐
Here to listen when you need us.

Octopus45 · 31/10/2023 19:53

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have got someone with you now x

endofthelinefinally · 31/10/2023 19:59

There are many of us here who have been through similar experiences. We will be here to listen and to give our advice about the things you need to do. It is bewildering and frightening.
We know what happens with the paramedics, the police, the coroner, the practical and legal things. We will help in whatever way we can in the coming days.
For now, let whoever is there help you and stay with you. You might want MN to move this thread to the bereavement boards. If so, one of us will contact them for you. Just ask.

BakingQueen14 · 31/10/2023 20:00

I don't usually post on threads but I saw your username and wanted to pass on my condolences. I'm really sorry for your loss. And for your kids losing their dad. Such an awful shock for everyone. I remember you from the AD threads a few years ago. I was under a different username then (similar to this one though!) I remember your posts and often wonder how everyone from those days is getting on. Look after yourself.

MabelsBeats · 31/10/2023 20:00

I’m desperately sorry for your tragic loss. Please ensure you are being looked after.

AdoraBell · 31/10/2023 20:01

I’m so sorry for your loss 💐

CavalierApproach · 31/10/2023 20:01

I'm so sorry, OP. I totally get why you posted here Flowers

LibbyL92 · 31/10/2023 20:03

This brought tears to my eyes.

in so so so sorry. X

Friendfoe1 · 31/10/2023 20:03

Sending love OP, be kind to yourself and take everything one day at a time x

IndigoSkye · 31/10/2023 20:05

I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your family

LizzyLongbow · 31/10/2023 20:05

I'm so sorry. You poor thing.

Allwelcone · 31/10/2023 20:06

OP how totally shocking for you. I just cant imagine how you must be feeling you poor love. Wishing you all the very best x

Hopelesslydevotedtoshrews · 31/10/2023 20:07

I'm so so sorry OP, I hope you have someone with you at the moment.

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