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Dad died 2 weeks ago, mum died today

105 replies

lynsey91 · 29/01/2021 17:21

My dad died 2 weeks ago. Thankfully he died at home with mum, me and one of my sisters with him.

He had dementia and my mum and sister fought like crazy for him not to go into a care home. For the last few months he did have carers going in a few times a day but my mum did the majority of looking after him for the last 3 years or so. He could not even feed himself and had been bed bound for about 5 months

He came out of hospital on the Wednesday with a negative covid test and died on the Saturday. We now know he did have covid.

On the Monday mum became ill with a chesty cough and hoarse voice. We honestly thought she had a chest infection partly because we didn't know they could be covid symptoms and also because we all thought dad did not have it. We spoke to her doctor and he said she should get a covid test. We took her that day and next day the result came back positive

Me and DH stayed with her to look after her. She grew worse and was not eating and barely drinking so we had to call an ambulance. A week after dad had died she was taken into hospital.

No one was allowed to visit and we were all isolating anyway. Wednesday we had a phone call saying they didn't think she had long left and this morning we got the call saying she had died.

I just can't take it in. I was obviously upset about dad but he had not been well for a while and in a lot of ways it was a kind of relief for him and for mum even though she was distraught.

Mum has hit me so much more. No one was with her and I can't believe I will never see her again. I thought she would have a few years left at least and would no longer have the hard job of looking after dad.

My last memory of mum is speaking to her in the back of an ambulance telling her she would be ok and home soon. She looked so tiny and scared.

Neither mum or dad had been outside their house since last March apart from dad going into hospital and we had all been so careful. I live a 3 hour drive away and had only seen them twice since March.

Mum was 91 so yes she was a good age but she was fairly healthy and deserved a few more years.

OP posts:
MrsToadlike · 13/02/2021 09:26

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, I cannot imagine losing both parents in such a short amount of time Flowers

Borntobeamum · 13/02/2021 15:01

Sincere condolences x

MMM2 · 13/02/2021 15:03

That is heartbreaking, so very sorry for your loss of your parents Flowers

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 25/02/2021 22:38

Sending sympathy and hugs. Sometimes life is so cruel. I hope your happy memories are a comfort to you.

mumofthemonsters808 · 25/02/2021 22:41

This is a terrible time for you, be gentle on yourself, thinking of you.

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