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Original poster

My son killed himself My heart is broken

98 replies

sscott1967 · 27/10/2014 23:06

My first born DS decided he didn't want to be here any more. There was no warning. He seemed fine. Going to work as normal, laughing at comedy shows, ordering pizza. Turns out he'd been planning it for a while. I miss him so much..I can still smell him. I have to be strong for our 3 younger boys.

OP posts:
Elysianfields · 27/10/2014 23:10

Sscott I am so so sorry. I don't know what to say but have a hand to hold.

MaelstromOfLunacy · 27/10/2014 23:10

I'm so sorry. I have no advice but please look after yourself - it's ok if your boys see you grieving, they will be too. Thinking of you x

girliefriend · 27/10/2014 23:11

Am so sorry Flowers

Pinklaydee1302 · 27/10/2014 23:13

Unimaginable so sorry Sad

MildDrPepperAddiction · 27/10/2014 23:17

Sscot, that is awful for you and your family. Have you someone in rl you can lean on?

Trumpton · 27/10/2014 23:19

No words can help. I wait anxiously for news about my boy. Never knowing when the call might come. Our poor boys.
I can only send you hope that you find peace in your heart.

overthemill · 27/10/2014 23:22

I am so sorry. Suicide is so hard to come to terms with. He must have been very unhappy and I know it is incredibly painful that he did not confide in you. It is not your fault. I hope you have someone to talk to or please call the Samaritans.

losthermind · 27/10/2014 23:28

I'm so sorry for your loss op Sad
Ive lost 3 male friends in the past 6 years to suicide
A scary number of men young or old are succumbing to mental illness and personal problems, because they aren't equipped to talk to anyone about it. Unfortunately one of the first places the government cut funds to is mental/psychiatric care so the vicious circle will continue.
My thoughts and prayers are with you this evening Flowers

ladygracie · 27/10/2014 23:29

I am so very sorry & can only Echo what others have said. Be sad and cry when you need to & let friends & family help you xx

Selks · 27/10/2014 23:33

Oh goodness I am so very sorry OP. It's terrible and beyond words.
Is it very recent?
I hope you have real life support.
The organisation SOBS offers support for those bereaved by suicide - here

ScaryZ · 27/10/2014 23:38

I am so sorry, sscott Flowers

bumpybecky · 27/10/2014 23:39

I'm so very sorry x

turdfairynomore · 27/10/2014 23:50

I'm so sorry sscott. DD19 made a serious suicide attempt a few months ago and I live in fear of being in your situation. Nothing that anyone will say can ease the pain but she has explained that she didn't want to leave me, she just didn't want to waken up as the "box" that she was living in was unbearable. Lean on whoever is around you. Cry out at the senselessness of it all. Xoxo

divorcedtobe · 27/10/2014 23:58

So sorry Flowers

Bankholidaybaby · 27/10/2014 23:59

I'm so sorry.

MyDHhasnomemory · 28/10/2014 00:04

I'm so sorry. Sad

Coolas · 28/10/2014 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stillenacht1 · 28/10/2014 00:08

I'm so sorry sscott xx there are no words. If it's ok I will pray for you all xx

LeonardWentToTheOffice · 28/10/2014 00:09

I'm so very sorry Thanks

ChillingGrinBloodLover · 28/10/2014 00:09

Oh lovey, I am so very, very sorry to hear that, I can't imagine what you must all be going through :( How old are your 4 boys?

AppleYumYum · 28/10/2014 00:13

My heart hurts for you, I'm so sorry Sscott, your lovely pfb, there are no words. Hug those three boys tightly tonight and let them see your raw emotion, it will help them to grieve too.

2Retts · 28/10/2014 00:13

So sorry sscott. Agree with everyone else, allow yourself to grieve without guilt and hug your boys close.

It is so very difficult to deal with but, it is my hope, you will find nothing but love and support here. Accept all the real life support offered to you, you will likely need it for some time to come.

2Retts · 28/10/2014 00:17

Thoughts also with you Trumpton, turdfairynomore and losthermind...so very hard.

GritStrength · 28/10/2014 00:18

I'm so sorry

Crownjewel · 28/10/2014 00:30

I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news Sscot. I just wanted to say that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers xx