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Bereavement

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Original poster

Could do with some hand-holding please?

480 replies

ChubbyKitty · 20/05/2013 06:32

Horrific accident in my parents house. Mum and grandad have both gone, dad is stable, and only found one of three cats.

I'm 21, I did not expect to lose my mum this soon at all. It hasn't even sunk in properly yet, and I know when it does I will be completely destroyed. What do I even doSad

OP posts:
NappyHappy · 02/08/2013 23:27

But you must have lots of cheese on it Wink

You are still doing tremendously well especially over the last week or so.

Even though Ive not posted Ive still been reading the thread and thinking if you. X

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 03/08/2013 00:26

Morrisons own grated mature cheddar. I think he used the whole bag.

I tend to get very weepy when I'm home alone. DP honestly doesn't mind if I snot all over him but I just can't do it I prefer to be alone when I do. Bath/shower time is always good, it's proper alone time.

OP posts:
NappyHappy · 03/08/2013 19:14

Migraine fest! Sounds like it was good though.

And, its also good that you are crying and letting it all out. Its not good to keep it all in. I think crying really does help.

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 03/08/2013 23:21

I have to say I've been very quiet all night at work (on a break).

It's been steady-busy though so it's given me thinking time, as it really doesn't take much concentration to make pizzas anymore..

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 04/08/2013 00:43

Hi chubby, seems you are a bit low at the moment, but that is understandable in the circumstances, being back at work will at least give you something to do. Without putting any more stress on yourself. If it gets that you feel your not coping do go and see your doc. Thinking of you

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 04/08/2013 02:52

Thank you. It is a little more difficult than I thought trying to get back to normality if I'm honest.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 04/08/2013 02:58

I'm sure it is. I know how awful it is only too well, but in your case it was made even worse if possible because you lost two people in a tragic way. But you have to do your grieving in able to eventually move on from this. But it will take you a while you have had a massive loss and now everything has been done, you have more time to think about it all. What you are feeling is normal. Got to go to bed now in worn out. Take care chubby.

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 04/08/2013 16:28

It doesn't help when I find out DPs so called friend (DP also angry about this) thinks its unacceptable that I haven't been working 40+ hours for 2 months and therefore I should be a skivvy and shouldn't be asked if he wants to come round and basically my opinions/thoughts don't count.

TwatHmm

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 04/08/2013 21:01

Oh for gods sake does he realise what you have just gone through ? F ing idiot, I would not have him in my house insensitive pig !

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 04/08/2013 23:55

Oh he knows. He just has a complete lack of empathy. He was mardy when one of my old cats died because DP didn't want to go to the gym that day and came round to mine instead.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 05/08/2013 00:13

Dosent sound like much of a friend. I can't believe some people . You know what they say " what goes around. Comes around " I wouldn't bother with him. You don't need "friends" like that . How are you feeling ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 05/08/2013 08:54

I think he's always had something against me as he can't have DP all to himself. Of course it's fine that he's in a relationship and blows his friends off regularly because he's not allowed out.

He makes me laugh. Otherwise I'd cry.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 05/08/2013 11:20

He sounds a very ignorant person and I personally wouldn't be bothering with him. If he continues in his frame of mind he will end up friendless.

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 05/08/2013 11:28

As harsh as it sounds I'm enjoying sitting back waiting for just that. DP and his other friend are already pretty sick of him. Apparently the other friend is 'trying to steal his place' in terms of being friends with DP Hmm

Some of the stuff he comes out with is just unreal. We could write a book. One of his latest is criticising us because we bought flea stuff for the cats.

It's hot, we own cats. It's kind of a natural reaction to want to keep the fleas at bay, unless he'd rather we left it and he got bitten?

I have to say anonymously ranting about him is incredibly therapeutic Wink

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 05/08/2013 13:40

He sounds like a 13 yr. old. Sulking because someone else is DP,s friend, he needs to grow up by the sounds of it and doesn't he know that flea powder is part of looking after cats ? He sound a right idiot and one day soon someone will tell him to get lost, and actually it's none of his business what you do or don't buy.

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 06/08/2013 00:12

I don't think he does. I'm not sure he's capable of taking care of pets even though his mum has cats and his fiancée has a dog. He's quite irresponsible in a way.

Much better day today though, my dad had to rush me to town for a new Hoover (mine blew upHmm) and now I have a lovely pink Vax that is suitable for pet hair. I'm actually excited to Hoover tomorrow.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 06/08/2013 00:19

Oh it's lovely when you ave a new thing to use. But only fr the first week ! I only Hoover once a week cause there is only 2 of is here now. When I had dogs I used to leave my Hoover out all day cause I couldn't stand the dog hair everywhere. Think the last thing I had new was a washing machine , why do they put so many programmes on them? I only use two of them! I need a new iron though. I snapped off the bit that goes over the hole where you put water I . It's stuck on with tape !
Did you get the powder fr your cats, have you done the de Fleming.
Yes give the tosser a wide berth, sounds a weird person

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 06/08/2013 00:30

Yeah. Only found a baby today and some dead ones so its worked well. Must remember not to neglect the hoovering again, I'm still not used to being the one responsible for the cats !

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 07/08/2013 21:58

Hi chubby. Hope you are doing ok. Have you seem the idiot friend again in last couple of days ? Are the cats ok now ? My hairdresser has just got two new kittens. They are 8 weeks and 3 days old, she got the yesterday. They are so cute , but one kept crying a lot, don't know if it was missing his mum and the other kittens, very cute though.
How is work going this week, got many shifts ?

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 07/08/2013 23:48

I've been okay, kind of gloomy but pushing through it. I've been working the last two days and tomorrow and then I'm off on holiday for 3 days so that should be nice.

The kittens sound lovely. One of mine has been chattering a lot more, which is what she's normally like. Maybe this kitten is going to be a talker tooSmile

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 07/08/2013 23:56

Oh a break will do you such a lot of good, where are you going ? Think I need a holiday but will prob wait till weather is cold here then fly to the warm ! Yes both little kittens are so cute, one is brave but the one who kep crying is very timid, spect he will be ok after a few days . Have a great time away

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 08/08/2013 00:11

Me and two friends are having a little girly caravan stay in ingoldmells. We've heard the nightlife in Skegness is amazing though and apparently the taxi to the centre is like 5 minutes so that should be fun.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 08/08/2013 00:31

Well I hope you have a fab time. Let your hair down and relax, you deserve this. I have no idea where it is, but it sounds good, I am terrible at geography and if I haven't been there I don't know where it is ! Caravans are great, been on a couple of sun holidays, and they were really nice, mind you was a long time ago now. Enjoy

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 08/08/2013 11:12

It's on the east coast. It's the naicer part of Skeg.

I'm also putting my phone on Do Not Disturb except for DP and my dad, and the friends I'm with, thank you Apple for that delightful feature.

Should be nice to get away and clear my head.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 08/08/2013 11:57

That sounds like a good feature to have on your phone ! Didnt know you could get that. I don't have apple phone but I do have my iPad. My brother swears by apple and has everything going. If you have the weather we have today it will be a great weekend for you. Are you going to be cooking meals or using out. There is something different about cooking in a caravan. It's fun