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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Could do with some hand-holding please?

480 replies

ChubbyKitty · 20/05/2013 06:32

Horrific accident in my parents house. Mum and grandad have both gone, dad is stable, and only found one of three cats.

I'm 21, I did not expect to lose my mum this soon at all. It hasn't even sunk in properly yet, and I know when it does I will be completely destroyed. What do I even doSad

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Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 28/07/2013 23:52

Most of them still being supportive. One or two seem to have gone quiet but if that's how they feel then I'm not over upset by it.

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mummylin2495 · 29/07/2013 00:10

Some people are very helpful at the start, but then sort of lose interest. But as long as you still have support from somewhere you will be ok

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 29/07/2013 00:17

Tbh it's almost like the whole town (bar my friends/acquaintances) have forgotten all about it, but on the other hand I can easily potter about town this way without being stared at.

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mummylin2495 · 29/07/2013 00:27

People soon forget when it's not their family involved. I found it hurtful when people ignored my mums death. But yes I can see the good side that no- one pointing you out

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 29/07/2013 10:45

And at least this way there's no giant pictures of my childhood home splashed across the front page.

This is on the local paper as well. They either didn't have the intelligence to think 'maybe the family will see it and be upset' or they are vile nasty sods.

I know what my (limited) money is on.

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mummylin2495 · 29/07/2013 12:17

How insensitive, but papers don't think of others feelings, they just want the front page story. Must of been horrible for you to see that.luckily most people have very short memories if things don't concern them so you should be able to carry on as normal without anyone staring at you. I hope so

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 29/07/2013 22:53

Yeah it's a lot more peaceful now. The people that matter remember and are therefore more sensitive towards us, and the rest are unimportant.

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mummylin2495 · 30/07/2013 00:09

Yes you are right. My sister has something similar to what you just said on her gravestone. " she lived for those she loved, and those she loved remember " lovely words are they. I feel really tired tonight, but I hate going to bed early !!

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 30/07/2013 00:41

We had a new bed delivered earlier and put it up after having just a mattress on the floor.

I'm excited to sleep in it but like you I can't stand going to bed early.

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mummylin2495 · 30/07/2013 11:44

Ooh I love new beds ! But I hate the thought I'm missing out on something. I think I have just got into the habit of going to bed late. I am a night person and my ideal would be to stay up all night and sleep all day ! My ds is the same and always has been since he was little. I also have a brother who prefers late nights and late mornings, but another brother is up at 4am every day as he works for postal service.good job we are not all the same in the world isn't it . Hope u enjoyed your first night in your new bed, I bet you felt really high up after sleeping on a mattress !

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 30/07/2013 17:14

It is sooo comfy. Slight issue, I sleep on the side next to the wall so I shuffle forward to the end to get up in the morning. Only now I'm a tad too shortGrin

Today hasn't been too bad, me and DP went shopping as he's off this week and we raided the American sweet shop.

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mummylin2495 · 30/07/2013 17:39

Sounds as though you liked it ok ? Nice to ave something new, it cheers everyone up I think ! But if you eat too many of those sweets you may need to get a bigger bed Grin

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 30/07/2013 23:39

It was awesome.

I have to get an early night for tomorrow, but I still haven't tidied up or been in the bath. This hasn't worked out so goodHmm

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mummylin2495 · 30/07/2013 23:42

Is it the funeral tomorrow. If so I hope you cope ok.

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 31/07/2013 00:46

It is yeah.

Thank you. I'm really anxious about it so I've taken a sleeping tablet otherwise I'll be up all night.

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mummylin2495 · 31/07/2013 01:02

It will be upsetting of course , but you may surprise yourself how you get through it, will be thinking of you x

NappyHappy · 31/07/2013 07:53

Ill be thinking of you too. Xxx

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 31/07/2013 21:35

...it was rough. And shattering. Pretty much all I can muster tonight.

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mummylin2495 · 01/08/2013 00:07

I am glad the ordeal is over for you. Now you at least know she has been laid to rest finally. Try and remember all the good times you had together. It's a very hard time, I a, still grieving for my mum and I a, a lot further on in the process than you, it still feels like yesterday. Look after yourself, ale sure you eat well and try and sleep well too x

mummylin2495 · 01/08/2013 20:52

I hope you are taking the time today to rest and try and gather yourself together a bit. Don't bother to post back.just wanted you to know I am thinking of you

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 01/08/2013 23:01

Sorry I am completely shattered. BIL took us all to the zoo!

I'm pretty sure Dudley reached 1000 degrees today right?

And yet it pissed down yesterdayHmm of all the days..

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mummylin2495 · 02/08/2013 00:28

It has been very hot here today as well, too hot to do anything. Didnt do a lot really. Glad you had a nice day. I love zoos . Have a good sleep tonight

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 02/08/2013 11:06

It was a very good day. It was nice being out and about and away from the town as there are a lot of reminders here. And I managed to sleep in for a little bit as well so that's good. I've got a little shift tonight so that should be quite distracting too. For the rest of the day I think I'm just going to catch up on laundry as I have at least a billion loads to do and I can do other things in between.

Also discovered a cat flea last night (even though they both got washed and sprayed on Tuesday) so have to send DP out for some spray for the furniture, eughHmm

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mummylin2495 · 02/08/2013 11:18

Don't let the cats on your new bed till they have been de- flead ! That would be horrible. I think with cats it's just part and parcel of a cats lives, I would think they all get them at some point.
Glad you will be back to earning tonight, will you get a free pizza too ! That would save you a bit of cash on not having to buy anything.
I expect it was good to sleep in for a bit this morning, I sometimes like to watch the tele in bed ( or read ) trouble is sometimes I go back to sleep and when I wake I have normally then got a headache
The sun is trying to come out here but in between its quite cloudy. Very warm still though. Have a good day

Original poster
ChubbyKitty · 02/08/2013 20:39

Horrid shift.

Can't wait to gorge myself on pasta later. Comfort food...

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