Can anyone find a middle ground between me and DH’s name lists?

[namepains]

Have NC’d for this

DH and I have very, very different tastes when it comes to names. I’ll give you our lists below, but we’re nowhere close in terms of taste. What sounds nice to me DH hates and vice versa. I apologise profusely if anyone’s name comes up, I am really not meaning to offend anyone but names are very personal and tastes are very different. Please don’t take any offence and fwiw, my name always comes up on outdated/names people don’t like threads for context, we live in Scotland and DH is Scottish, I’m English. If there’s a specific reason for DH not liking mine, I’ve put it next to the name.

My list:

Lily- too twee apparently
Rosie- he’s said he likes it but not enough to say it every day henceforth. He doesn’t like variations such as Rosaline/d, Rosa or Rose.
Daisy- brief period of time a girl wasn’t nice to DS with this name
Jasmine - Aladdin (who honestly thinks that!)
Ophelia- apparently pretentious, although I love Hamlet!
Scarlett
Tara- his first dog was called that so apparently he can’t name DD ‘after’ his dog
Emily
Ruby

DH’s list:

Michelle
Siobhan
Lisa
Louise
Mhairi
Bernadette

I particularly don’t like Bernadette and Siobhan. But honestly, I don’t like any of them. No connotations or personal issues with people with these names but I just don’t like them. Does anyone have any suggestions for a middle ground? I’m not sure there is one! We had a boy name agreed immediately but we’re worlds apart on a girls one

Lorna is a lovely name and not over used.

@Emotionalsupporthamster😂😂
@lottiegarbanzoso far we’ve had equal vetoing powers, but I get what you mean!
@Princessfluffyits a girl 😂

Re the school crush thing- I’m not sure, DH went to school in the highlands, I’m not sure if there were many Michelle’s or Lisa’s but I could be wrong!

Thank you so much for the suggestions! If people have any more please share! Eliza is a possibility now because of this thread and I’d never have thought of it before. I do like the name Eloise but unfortunately have negative connotation to it so can’t call DD that. Will catch up on the rest of this thread!

@Cathandkinwow, Wilfred is back?? I know Stanley is (I really like it tbf) but Wilfred?

I'm intrigued by his not loving Rosie enough to say it every day. I suspect most people don't inherently love saying Isla or Olivia or Noah or George all day long, but they grow to love it as it's their child's name. Unfortunately it may just be a matter of powering through more name lists to find more mutually pleasing ones. (I might start with the National Records of Scotland baby name lists in this case, if you haven't already.)

It seems like his order of the day is names that might have been familiar/popular in Scotland in the - '70s? '80s? '90s? - with no negative associations that he can think of. Just to add a few more, how about:

Alexandra
Alison (unironically; given the history in Scotland it feels classic)
Carly
Ciara
Georgia
Hanna/Hannah
Helena (would've been Helen, Ellen, or maybe Elin)
Holly
Jessamyn
Kira
Kirsty
Laurel
Lindsay
Mara
Marsaili
May
Nadia
Nina
Oona
Sylvie (would've been Sylvia)
Talitha
Tansy

Yes! I teach 4 Wilfreds, all yr8-10.
Boris Johnson has one 😉.
Most popular for boys are Alfie, Albie, Harry and Noah, and for girls a lot of ditzy names, Daisy, Maisie, Lottie, Dottie, Minnie, Poppy, etc.
North of England.

Rosanna?

If you like Finn for a boy, how about Fiona? And if Eliza is appealing, how about Elspeth which is the Scottish version of Elizabeth...I love how it sounds!

Ok,all nice names and useable. But not classics apart from a very few. Mostly very dateable. It's actually quite an interesting list because of the difference and I think you'll easily be able to find a compromise by shifting your date parameters a bit or finding a common reference point.

With love, yours are a good 15 years behind the curve and a bit overused now (starting late 90s, Lily, Ruby, Daisy) and his are actually 30 years in front (late mid c is when the Michelles and Lisas will come through. Bernadette is coming up with the Pamelas, Barbaras and Lindas butis expect too much of a compromise).

I think the basis of your list is Mhairi and Emily. A Scottish and an English classic. Ditch everything else unless there's anything you really can't leave behind in which case look at it closer.

Maybe Alice/Ailish, Lucy, Anna, Elspeth, Shona, Catriona

You may go in another direction from there, maybe sometjing else from Shakespeare (Ophelia is a bit divisive in terms of the sound I wouldn't particularly want to be called it). Essentially, id say find a new middle ground unless you can't forget a particular name

I love Shona and Catriona. I always think Scottish female names are clear and strong.

Also love Catriona.

On a similar theme:
Katrina / Catrina
Katrine / Katrin / Catrin
Caitlin / Kaitlin / Kaitlyn
Katherine / Catherine
Kate / Cate / Cait
Kathleen / Cathleen

With an ie sound to the end of your surname I agree having a first name with the same sound will sound twee.

Bernadette is like Jolene for me, I can’t hear it without hearing the song of the same name!

FWIW I didn’t much care for my dc’s name but it was the only thing that her father agreed to. Now, I find it really suits her (and if I am feeling possessive I use her middle name, which I came up with!) This choice does feel important now but will feel less important as time goes on- and as a teacher I think the most important is that you check out the proposed initials for unexpected acronyms, the shortenings of the name you choose, and any unfortunate rhymes or connotations. The baby might also surprise you and not suit the name you picked out. Mine wasn’t named for a few days after the birth.

All that said, how about Ailsa, Lorna, or Fionnula so that you can still use Finn? (Apologies if the spelling is wrong.) When I started teaching there were a lot of Ashleys of both sexes, could that be a compromise as it’s strong and has the -ey sound? These are all also not trendy now so won’t date.

Could you get the list of top 100 Scottish baby names and each tick ones you like? Plus the list for your nationality?

Ailsa
Erin
Margot
Shona
Bridget/Brigitte
Lisette

None of these would be on my personal list but I've tried to go with the 'middle ground' between the two. I've no idea what's on trend and in any case would avoid something immediately identifiable as 2025. I'm afraid your DH's list is an example of how trendy names age.

Going back to your updates, I would ask him to please take the heat out of his comments. Doesn't sound like he's been mean but he is shutting things down because they're not his first choices. You have different tastes, that's fine. But you're going to have to probably compromise and 'thats terrible' again and again for a variety of reasons isn't helpful or fair. He needs to help you come up with an idea of what you are both looking for, not just telling you what he doesn't want. Otherwise you pick. You're the one giving birth.

I know a great Scottish girl called Lisabel which I think is pretty and unusual and starts with an “l” which you seem to like…

I was up in Orkney and met a woman called Ishbell. I thought that was lovely.

Ishbel
Beka
Liza
Lizzie
Betsy
Margot
Maisy
Elinor
Elin
Fiona
Josie
Emilie
Milly - Millicent or Mildred - I like both, great witch names
Alexis
Lexie
Terry
Pomona
Nicola
Elnora
Frances
Julia
Gwen
Sarah

If you like Emily and he likes Louise and Lisa, would he also like Emma, as there were many of these in the 80’s with sisters Louise and Lisa? Emma seems to be heading back into favour a bit sooner.

Michelle I’m not sure will return in the same way. Was it not a borrowing from the French?

Mhairi I think is one of those love it or hate it names that is never really in but never really out of fashion.

And Bernadette, I’m sorry, will forever be a nun with a hairy top lip for me.

I had the same issue with DH - shot down all my perfectly normal suggestions and the only name he could come up with was Anita. Really?

Out of suggestions on this thread as a middle ground I like Louisa. I also like Abigail.

Louisa could work op?

Sidonie (pronounced Sidney)

I would avoid names that need a pronunciation guide- I have a married surname that requires explanation and that's bad enough- for a first name you have to expect people will say what they see.

@namepains How is Mhairi pronounced? I quite like the idea of that. Obviously you don’t as it’s on the rejected list lol but as a middle ground name, how about Marnie?

Im 52, never met anyone called that. Fell in love with the name from an old kids book, a bit otherworldly tale called ‘When Marnie was there’.

Just a thought especially as it has its origins in Scotland meaning ‘from the sea’. Also the last syllable has a similar sound to the endings of a lot of the names on your pro list 🙂.

Rhiannon
Kate
Lucy
Nardia
Tessa

That’s quite a good thought.