Porn

[Bubbles01]

Am I being unreasonable for getting upset that my husband keeps looking at porn?

amber, and I have never maintained that either myself nor my partner have never used porn

I think you are mistaking me for someone else

bubbles you arent being unreasonable - porn is for boys not men and fathers - sorry but that is my opinion.

We dont look at other men for sexual gratification, we find it in out DP's and DH's.

My DP used to have a stash of porn, dvd's, magazines, webistes saved on his laptop...we then had an issue with me being depressed after our daughter was born, he was depressed also, and went elsewhere (luckily did nothing sexual) just texts and emails with numerous amounts of girls/women.

anyway afterwards as he was only sexting cheating I chucked him out and made him do what he needed to do to get us back and the porn had to go! all of it...the one DVD I found was of a 17yr old chinese girl - eurghhh so vile poor girl!

So now we are very happy, theres no porn at all .... well...actually.....we have found this site called silver something or other and its so funny/ sexual at the same time. We still dont live together 6 months on, as I cant have him back with me just yet..we are at our parents, but we go online and find pics that remind us of us together or what we would like to do....may I say all these pics are cartoons and not of real people, more anime than anything, tho there are sick ones too of bart and marge! yuk! then we email them to each other and get turned on by it funny enough.

I dont think its wrong if it doesnt include other real people, men dont get it, it is degrading and hurtful but if you find a common ground that works for you both I dont see the problem.

I apologise if I have AnyFucker.

Most men use porn, for good or bad. Condeming it won't stop them - just means you won't know about it.

That was my only point - many people have read a great deal into that, really some fine imaginations on here!

I think that happens on threads like these, amber, tbh

They move very quickly at times, opinions get cross-posted and people furiously type at cross purposes just to get their general point across IYSWIM

you could have answered my question though, it wasn't a trap

To be honest I never had any opinion either way re porn when I was younger. My XDP used porn a lot and it never bothered me.

I think my opiniuon has changed as I have got older to be honest - not just personally but at work as well. So when I was young and there would be a p-age 3 poster on a wall at work, or someone would make some crass comment, I would just giggle and join in with the joke. Now, I think I am probably more formidable and certainly do not think my colleagues would make any comments in my presence. Or perhaps my colleagues are more mature than my old one, who knows.

I would hate my beautiful dd to feel that in the future she has to be in situtations where she feels uncomfortable, which are caused in direct relation to how prevalent hard core porn is in today's society. So I think that asking you if youy have a dd is emphatically not a trap, but is a direct and appropriate question to ask you in light of your views.

My view, is that most men use porn. I was neither condeming nor supporting it.

I know what you mean Anyfucker - I know full well that am an opinionated little mare and things do go off on a tangent on certain subjects round here lol

from the payrates earlier from Wiki posted by Kerry, I get what double penetration is but what the hell is double anal?? You only have one ass unless that's just me

If its ahem 2 in the one ass how on earth does that fit? And that's got to be medically unsafe surely?

[backs out suddenly wondering why on earth she wants to know the answer...]

amber, just because you are an opinionated little mare, does not mean you cannot change those opinions

I did

coming onto MN, and reading a lot of the literature posted by people like Dittany, contributed to that

this will sound patronising amber, but if someone said to me 14 yrs ago (I am guessing there are 14 years between us...correct me if I'm wrong...), that I would shift my opinion quite so markedly, I would have just laughed...

err, defluff, may I direct you to the anal fisting thread....

its thattaway ----->

I never gave two hoots about porn until pretty recently when watched a documentray on Channel 4 about the modern porn industry, and a poor young girl who was involved in gonzo porn and contracted AIDS in a vill scene. The look on her poor defeated face. She was only a kid.

And plus, my daughter is a teenager now. You don't really make any connection with how the views of women affect your dd's when they are small, however seeing her grow up and have the body of a woman but still with a young mind. Well I find it scary how vulnerable teenage girls are. I would hate hate the thought of her being exploited like that poor young girl in that documentary.

That was a real turning point and an eye opener for me tbh. Christ - that's not often you can say that about Channel 4 documentaries!

Yes and coming on here and various threads with a poster called Elizabetth who really educated on the subject.

AF, that was a cone shape remember, that's got to be smaller than 2 of the other surely.

Am now itching to ask what gonzo porn is, dont want to google that on work's pc

I think we would all agree that in an ideal world there would be no porn at all. I'm sure most women would agree with the exploitation, humiliation etc.

My point is that most men do use it. As long as they keep it to themselves I'm not sure it should be an issue. I don't own my Dh's mind, and he doesn't own mine!

smallwhitecat obviously if your OH looked at porn you would see that as a character flaw. Fair enough.

I'm saying that most men don't share that opinion.

I wish some men would come on here and give us a true insight.

I think a lot of men dont give much thought to the politics of porn tbh.

everyone is ignoring me! not all porn is equal. not all porn is exploitative. porn per se is not the problem. it is the unregulated, male dominated nature of the modern day porn industry that is the problem.

and it is very slowly beginning to change.

the feminist porn awards for eg

What did men do before porn was invented though? The answer to that question explains why it is the lesser of two evils. We should be talking about a continuum of porn: inanimate paper porn - animate-interactive offering possibility of an encounter-Wii Porn? This would help us to decide the porn boundries within our relationship

A man is not neccesarily a mysogynistic moron because he watches porn! That is a generalisation.

Yeah, so maybe they don't think about the sinister things behind the scenes, but you could say that about everything in life! The men don't enjoy it because it's explotation and sexist, they are simple creatures and like it because it's naked women doing sexual things!

It is sad to think that many of the women are doing it because of bad reasons, but plenty of them are not forced to do it. Some, but not all.

And i think that the word rape is being used to freely, it is not rape. There are i'm sure vile examples on the interet which feature such horrific things, but if these women agree for whatever reason, and play the part it is not rape.