Porn

[Bubbles01]

Am I being unreasonable for getting upset that my husband keeps looking at porn?

I do worry about DH becoming addicted to porn. Do men not become desensitised and need stronger and stronger stuff?

Sorry. Didn't answer the OP at all! Just wanted to say. I do feel upset that DH looks at porn. It makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Lol at sexy undies being nice for the OP!

Oh yes, nothing better for your self esteem than dressing up as a porn star.

Jesus.

and it affects my self esteem too.

Men probably do feel sexy with new pants. How else could you explain pulling pants? Many single men I know have a specific pair of boxers they use whilst on the pull.

I'm not sugesting that the op 'should just get over it'. I just cannot understand how someone could feel insecurity because of a woman their OH has never and will never meet. And probably wouldn't fancy in RL anyway.

Men are more visual than women. They do sometimes need to 'see' something while trying to get aroused. Women otoh are more introvert and imaginative. We don't need visual cues. We can get randy with Winchester boys in our heads

Op - have you never fantasied about another man? It's just the same thing.

No reality....... Not yet!!

You can't stop men viewing it, you really can't. It's this prudish attitude which drive them to do it on the quiet.....then what?

I agree totally with nickytwotimes

and really don't understand why everyone else doesn't!

You need to discuss it with him how much he is looking at this and having a wank.

IF he is wanking alot to it and not getting close to you that means he is starting to detacth himself from you and your closeness in the bedroom can be in trouble.

No happy about my DH watching this and as Relate woman said to me all men wank you have to accept that but as long as you two still are having sex in the bedroom or whereelse it is you are.

Wow, I cannot believe some of the responses here.

He is watching porn, not trying to stick his Willy into the tv and shag the bird and, if you do feel insecure because your dh is watching pron, then yeah, you do have a problem, with self esteem.

Not prudish attitude, no.
I just hate misogyny.
Love sex though.
As for men being more visual, there is no evidence to support this statement. Besides, even if this were to be the case, there is no need for their stimulation to come from such misogynistic imagery.
They are turned on by it because it is what they are exposed to first as young teenagers.

YANBU. I would hate it, as would most women I know. But maybe thats the kind of women I am friends with.

My ex used to get upset when I was eyeing up jimmy choos online......which we could never afford, and which he could never compete with......i still did it though. Just learned to do it when he was out

Every aspect of our relationship is really great - especially in the bedroom..

However, as I said before I have been suffering with depression, I have gained a lot of weight and really unhappy with the way I look.

It makes me feel that Im not enough for him.

I have discussed the issues I have with him before - What upsets me the most is that he knows how I feel about it yet he continues to carry on.

Have you told him how its making you feel?...I'm fortunate my DH is not into porn at all we have watched it together in the past..but tbh its exactly as described by others misogynistic bollocks

Three, I think that may be the poorest analogy I have ever read.

Ok. So what some of the women on here seem to be saying is that if you have a problem with your husband watching porn, then it is YOU that has the problem, self esteem issues or whatever.

Maybe your self esteem is just fine, and what you have a problem with is the man in your life watching something which portrays women purely as objects, orifices, just there to satisfy the man.

Porn has become increasingly hard core, and as far as I can see, it IS very misogynistic towards woman, and I would not at all be happy to discover that my husband had to view that to get turned on. Not because of self esteem issues but becuase I would like to think that the man I married respects and likes woman and doesnt enjoy watching them being degraded.

Isnt it funny, ironic really, that one of the (unintended) effects of feminism on society has been that women now value themselves so little that we must now be seen to be accepting of, and cool with an entire industry given over to the exploitation of our sexuality. The joke is on us I'm afraid.

Bubbles, the fact he knows you don't like it yet he continues is the worst part of this.

If you have discussed it with him and told him how it makes you feel then YANBU.

How do you know he is using porn though? Presumably he isn't being open about it. Just that if he is being open about it then he is being VVVVU.

If he prefers watching porn to having sex with you that's a problem but you say that alls good in the bedroom , so why not watch with him and see does it spice things up !!
If its regular porn (as in not deviant or hardcore) then you can drool over the hot male bodies while hes watching the girls (be very vocally appreciative of their manhood just to rattle him).However if its hardcore then opt out and seriously question his motivation and try to get him to work out his deviant issues .

Eugh, porn is vile. It does NOT just portray normal sex, it's got increasingly extreme and is now just for the 'Fucking hell, look at that!' factor than genuine eroticism.

If women think that their husbands looking at porn in no way influences how they look at them, then they're deluding themselves. Can you stop men looking at porn? Probably not. I have no idea whether DP watches it or not, have never found any evidence of such. But I could never be 100% happy with a man I'm in a relationship with feeding into this whole icky world. It does show a disregard for women as people.

God, why is everyone telling her to watch it with him? I don't WANT to involve other people (even if only on a TV screen) in my sex life. 'spice things up' A real man is more than enough for me. I think if you don't find that, you're doing it wrong.

nickytwotimes i so so agree with you.

i sued to be more open minded about porn but the more i see the less tolerant i get.

i guess its because its so dissapointing what seems to titilate most men...and so boring!