Porn

[Bubbles01]

Am I being unreasonable for getting upset that my husband keeps looking at porn?

Even though it's not really the point, I agree that knowing someone else (your partner, I mean, not any randomer) is turned on can be a turn-on in itself. I think for me it would only really apply to things that happened between just the two of us, because sex is reciprocal (or should be) rather than some porn he had looked at, which I wouldn't really see as being anything to do with me. I could still never be properly OK with porn, because you can't tell if it's properly consensual or not. I know that's something that people try to gloss over, but it's such a huge issue. If there's even the chance it might not be, it's just too creepy.

A man watching porn

dittany wasn't going to get involved but couldn't help it when somone said her other half wouldn't be aroused if e saw porn. Totally unrealistic.

As one of the Dad's on here said - show a bloke a picture or vid of a naked women then he will 'react'!

Then someone seemed to think I was a 'porn defender' rather than merely an observant realist.

But dittany, she only put forward this version of events many years later, once she had hooked up with Andrea Dworkin who would have been more than capable of brainwashing her just as well as Traynor. She was psychologically capable of moving onto a fairly long marriage and two kids with someone else. She died in an unrelated car crash - nothing to do with a throat-related condition

throat-related condition ?

absinthe...you have a very, very cold heart < shivers >

For the benefit of 2old, who seems to find understanding men as opposed to 13 year old boys difficult, I can say quite catagorically that my husband would not find pornography stimulating in the slightest.

Sorry if that messes with your world view, but you'll have to suck it up.

absinthe I don't think you have a cold heart at all, I think you are realistic and not living in a fantasy land.

Georgimama out of interest, are you 100% that there is not any kind of porn, nothing at all that would turn him on? Why is that?

Um, because I know my husband? What is so hard about this? I am uninterested in pornography, all of which is fundamentally misogynistic, misandryistic, and generally hateful of loving sex, and so is my husband.

Truly, if you can convince yourself you are happy in your "I'm liberated, me" "men will be men" myopic view of sexuality good luck. You'll need it.

being flippant about "throat-related conditions" in a woman whose life was defined by having dicks shoved down it ?

nice

this thread is a fucking disgrace

Not all of this thread is a disgrace. You're not. Dittany isn't. I hope I'm not.

thanks georgi

and no, you are not

That about Linda Lovelace is utterly vile. Christ alive.

Slightly odd to read all that about her experiences and then just deduce that she made all that up because she was in cahoots with Andrea Dworkin fgs.

She was obviously utterly devastated about her experiences. Bit odd Absinthe that your respomse was so flippant.

I am pretty certain that my DP does not use porn. Why is that so hard for certain posters to believe. I have been scoffed at on this thread and others for that statement, which I find rather strange. I don't call you porn defenders daft bints for your Toni Terry 'boys will be boys' attitudes.

Georgimama I just asked as I have genuinely never come across a man who genuinely doesn't like any kind of porn. There are men who are respectful of their wives wishes, and rightly so, but I have just never met a man who wouldn't be turned on by some variety of porn.

I'd like to know why it is a disgrace that myself and others don't see anything wrong with porn, there are a million different what ifs and generalisations being thrown around.

I think a lot of the people on here whose husbands watch porn are trying to kid themselves that porn stars aren't 'real' because if your husband can wank over pictures of a 'real' woman, he might actually go off and shag one. Hence the attempts to dehumanise them and the constant glossing over of the fact that some of the porn they/their DPs have viewed will almost certainly have been non-consensual.

Have you read any of Dittany's posts, MrsMontague? I think women, and men, being raped for the gratification of others, is a disgrace. I'm surprised you don't.

If you want to get your rocks off to some external stimulus, all power to you. Make your own! More stimulating than random fake tits and plastic studs, I should imagine.

GetOfMoiLand I never said that there are men who don't use porn, I said it is unlikely that they wouldn't like to given the choice.

Obviously I haven't met your husband, and maybe he is the exception to a mass majority. But for anybody to say that the majority of men don't enjoy it, is just unrealistic.

And I would rather be called a daft bint, than be told my husband and any other men who watch porn are perverts who get off watching women being abused, which is what dittany said. Yes, I do believe men will be men. You have to pick your battles, and I frankly am a little more realistic than to expect him to be perfect, because he is in the ways that matter. And watching porn does not matter.

MrsM

your opinion is your own

and not disgraceful in itself

some of the horrible comments have been utterly shocking to me, however

the apparent disregard for the suffering of young girls and women, because they choose a life outside of the norm

like they are not someone's daughter, someone's mum, but somehow other

that someone like Linda Lovelace, years after her death is subject to a stupid, facile comment that she didn't die of a throat-related condition

it fucking stinks

What on earth does "men will be men" mean though? Do you really think they are some species apart, ruled by their sexual organs and not their brains/consciences?

What kind of attitude it that to have to 49% of the human race?

What a load of rubbish Brahms, men will have affairs regardless of whether or not they watch porn. I don't believe there is any correlation whatsoever. Stopping a man from watching porn will not stop him from having affairs, it will inhibit him and make him more curious.

Georgimama you are extremely patronising, and if you had read any of my posts I have said repeatedly that of course I fucking know that these things happen, but that is not what you see on film, and men are not perverts who like to watch women being raped!

I have never disputed the bad things that happen, I know that. I am disputing that men who watch porn are not getting off on it for that reason, and do not lack decency! It's easier for you to make it a moral crusade rather than just admitting you can't stand the thought of him watching naked women.

Well, that's the argument isn't it. You say that porn doesn't matter. However if my DP got hos rocks off watching a young girl getting spit roasted and faking orgasm at the sheer 'joy' of it, well, that would matter to me.

And I obviously do not 100% know if he doesn;t use porn, however I know him very well and would bet that he doesn't. He never uses the PC, there isn't a stash of porn hidden somewhere, and unless he has got a hidden collection in his car or something I am pretty sure he doesn't own any porn at all.

Well, MrsM, count my DH as one of those men who genuinely 100% has zero interest in any kind of porn at all. He was given some porn dvds almost 10 years ago and he's never watched them, he asked me to watch them to see if there was anything I thought he might like.
Other than the kneee jerk, primitive " oh look - boobies !" reaction, he's not aroused by it at all.
He likes women, he loves sex, but his "porn" would consist of ferraris with their bonnet open or an Omega watch catalogue.

I read research earlier that stated that 85% of regular porn users would also think there was nothing wrong with paying a prostitute for sex.