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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this lady should count herself lucky I didn't punch her in the face?

94 replies

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 13:36

Dd (just gone 6 months) in the sling on my hip, with her head tilted back looking at the sky. In no danger whatsoever, perfectly secure. Middle-aged woman comes rushing up, pushes dd's head up, whose head snaps up alarmingly and shrieks, "She's not safe in there!"

I was very close to smacking her one, but was more concerned for dd, just turned my back on the woman so dd was safe and walked into the nearest shop - which, luckily, was the comic shop where I know the owner very well.

OP posts:
Roomfor2 · 07/09/2009 13:38

Silly mare

Some people just don't know when to butt out... Have to admit to being a bit of a busy body concerned citizen myself, but I would never do that!

LaurieFairyCake · 07/09/2009 13:38

what a loon

I wouldn't have been polite to anyone who caused my baby's head to 'snap up alarmingly'

what a twat

stillstanding · 07/09/2009 13:40

Very rude. I wonder if your DD looks a little younger than she is? I saw a baby in a sling the other day and her head was lolling alarmingly ... I did think (to myself mind) that it looked a little precarious. Still no excuse to stick your nose in though.

curiositykilled · 07/09/2009 13:43

Your DD is lucky you didn't punch the woman in the face. Yes, she was mental/out of order but the thought that it'd even cross your mind to punch someone in the face whilst wearing your baby in a sling amazes me - this would've been far, far worse than what she did!

I clearly have no sense of humour, but I don't find it funny to joke about these kinds of things if it was just a 'turn of phrase' or joking comment.

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 13:44

She's 6 months, and has full head control and can sit unsupported and crawl. If anything she looks older!

I wouldn't have minded if the old bag lady had come and said, "Ooh, excuse me but your baby's head is tilted a way back, is she ok?" People often comment on the sling, usually positive, and I'm a friendly type, I don't mind stopping for a natter.

OP posts:
Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 13:46

curiosity - dd is the reason i didn't. I'm just glad dh wasn't with me, not that he would ever hit anyone but he can loom alarmingly!

OP posts:
norksinmywaistband · 07/09/2009 13:47

I agree be angry I would, but violence is not the way to go.

On the other hand, you do not know this womans circumstances - At a local primary school last year a baby fell out of the sling( had not been put in properly) onto concrete and died, she may have witnessed something similar and panicked( not her business though)

Oxymoronic · 07/09/2009 13:53

Perhaps the woman could have handled the situation a bit better, but if she really thought that your DD was in immediate danger of slipping out of the sling and you perhaps couldn't see, would you rather her leave your DD to fall??

I'm not sure I'd like someone coming up and touching my DD, but if they genuinely thought she was in danger I don't think I'd be as angry as you sound, I'd be glad that they actually bothered about me/her, most aren't, poss because of people having the attutude you have ie that they'd get a punch in the face if they did

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 13:56

That's true, norks, but surely anyone would know that the safe thing to do would be to ask the parent, not push a baby's head up, putting strain on the neck. I don't think dd has whiplash, but that's the sort of force I'm talking about.

Still so - I wonder what she did when I walked away though. Maybe she's still standing there!

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 07/09/2009 13:57

Her intentions were good. But yours? You want to punch an old lady in the face for showing concern and the only thing stopping you was the fact that you had your baby in the sling?

Do you need anger management?

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 13:59

I've got no problem with anyone touching my dd, she is bloody gorgeous and people often comment on how smiley and lovely she is, but pushing her head up? Nah.

It roused the mama bear in me. I'm usually very friendly, honest!

OP posts:
SouthMum · 07/09/2009 14:00

YANBU

There was a thread a little similar to this the other week where an old hag ex MW poked her beak in when someone was feeding her DS.

Don't understand why some people do this and I can't even see why she thought your DD might be in danger ^

Bet if she saw someone getting mugged she'd turn a blind eye though. Says alot IMO

shootfromthehip · 07/09/2009 14:00

YABU- massive over-reaction IMO.

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 14:01

LOL @ anger management. Perhaps I'm overprotective of my dc?

OP posts:
Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 14:03

It's a sling like this. Dd likes tilting her head back to look at the sky.

OP posts:
CornishKK · 07/09/2009 14:04

Erm, do you think you are taking the OP too literally? I often express the wish to bludgeon someone to death with a hole punch - doesn't mean I'll actually do it.

And OP, YANBU, if the woman was genuinely concerned she could just talk to you rather than touching your little one. Someone said to me on the train the other day that I shouldn't sit on the outside seat on the train with my LO in a sling as people will walk past and accidentally smack him in the head with bags etc. She had a point, I moved, we had a nice chat....

MadreInglese · 07/09/2009 14:11

YANBU

A colleague popped into work with her newborn the other day so we all clucked over for a cuddle, I was passed the baby first and another colleague (childless I might add) literally shrieked "HOLD HER HEAD, HOLD HER HEAD!!" and flapped her arms about at me

I managed a very calm face and explained that I had actually managed to hold a selection of newborns in the past without damage occurring

Mamazon · 07/09/2009 14:12

she actually pushed her head up!

wow, very restrained of you Urban, i'd have slapped her one too i think

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 14:19

Just to clarify - i didn't punch her, i was never going to punch her, I don't agree with violence on the whole. But pushing my baby's head so it snaps (let me just say again, snaps) up is going to rouse up my protective streak!

How would i know if dd had whiplash, btw? She doesn't seem in pain, she's fast asleep on my lap. I'm guessing she would be crying and uncomfortable?

OP posts:
Oxymoronic · 07/09/2009 14:30

I don't think it's about the punching/not punching her, it's the anger in your OP against someone who must have thought something was going to happen to your DD or else why would she have done that?

I understand the protective mum thing, but if your DD had fallen out of the sling, would you be equally as angry that all the people standing around you didn't bother to stop her?

chegirl · 07/09/2009 14:32

Bloody hell can we not even want to punch someone in the face any more? Political correctness gorn maaaaad aint it?!

The things I want to do to people in the course of a normal day

I think you showed remarkable restraint and dignity TAK. Poor baby.

belgo · 07/09/2009 14:38

A very similar thing happened to me when I was carrying dd2 on my back, and I was with my mother on the bus. An old lady started shouting at my mother in Flemish dialect about how my dd2 was going to suffocate on my back - and then she whacked my mum on her arm! Even my mother who doesn't understand flemish got the gist of what she was saying!

I found it hilarious, and thankfully my mother saw the funny side - I mean it really is funny when someone thinks you are going to kill your baby just by carrying them.

I'd have been annoyed though if she had hurt my baby. As it was, it was my mother she hit, who fortunately has a sense of humour.

NoahFence · 07/09/2009 14:39

WHERE DO MNERS MEET THESE LOONS?
do you all live in loon central?

belgo · 07/09/2009 14:41

bus 284, central Leuven, Belgium, that's where you meet these loons.

Fluffypoms · 07/09/2009 14:45

yanbu!!!!!

How dare anyone put their hands on your baby.

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