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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this lady should count herself lucky I didn't punch her in the face?

94 replies

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 13:36

Dd (just gone 6 months) in the sling on my hip, with her head tilted back looking at the sky. In no danger whatsoever, perfectly secure. Middle-aged woman comes rushing up, pushes dd's head up, whose head snaps up alarmingly and shrieks, "She's not safe in there!"

I was very close to smacking her one, but was more concerned for dd, just turned my back on the woman so dd was safe and walked into the nearest shop - which, luckily, was the comic shop where I know the owner very well.

OP posts:
Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 14:57

Loon Central, South Bucks.

If she really thought dd was in danger then what the hell is wrong with coming up, saying something like, "Ooh, your baby doesn't look very secure in there!" and I could check, and say, "Oh no, she's fine, she just likes looking at the world upside down!" and we could have a chuckle and she would say, "Gosh, isn't she pretty?" and I'd say, "Why, yes, she is astonishingly gorgeous, thank you," and we would both continue on our merry way.

Not shrieking and scaring us, or pushing her head up and putting a strain on her neck.

Vive le difference?

OP posts:
belgo · 07/09/2009 15:03

I've also had loons coming up to 'help' me put dd2 in the sling on my back, when I've been in the street.

Anyone who has ever carried a child on your back knows how important balance is and how someone else suddenly 'helping' really puts you out of balance, and I usually have to stop and take dd2 down totally and wait until the 'helper' has gone on their way.

Alambil · 07/09/2009 15:09

omg what a nutter!

I don't think it'd be THAT easy to fall out of a sling like the picture, unless it was too baggy I guess...

I just can't believe she's 6m already!

JudgeGibByTheCutOfHerJib · 07/09/2009 15:22

I can't believe you have a gorgeous DD now!

Lady was a loon, well done for walking away without rising to it

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 16:09

A thought just occurred to me while i was on Facebook cleaning the bathroom. I was eating a Gregg's chicken pasty, maybe she thought I was going to give some to dd??

OP posts:
norksinmywaistband · 07/09/2009 17:00

I agree that the right course of action would have been to talk to you and express concerns so you could have checked, just trying in some bizarre way to account for her actions.
BTW if someone touched one of my DC in a forceful way I would be very as well.

btw that was the type of sling the dc fell out of in the local playground I know how safe they are when you know what you are doing but this particular mother obviously didn't

cheesesarnie · 07/09/2009 17:05

i had lots of people saying i would drop ds,id damage his bones,id trip and drop him blah blah blah when he went in his sling.my sling was similar to yours-i carried ds till he was a huge beast of a boy and hes fine.(kind of....)

another mnetter will be on later saying 'aibu to have panicked about sling wearing mother'.

TarkaLiotta · 07/09/2009 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

posieparker · 07/09/2009 17:06

I thoroughly enjoy the whole I would love to punch, kick, slap etc...... I would love to not I have/am going to. Seriously.

CarmenSanDiego · 07/09/2009 17:06

YANBU. I got some glares and a few not so nice carrying my baby in a sling like that. But I live in California, home of the the most ostentatious prams going. Fortunately no-one actually touched my baby though. I'd have been furious if a stranger did that.

LilMissPerimenopause · 07/09/2009 17:09

YANBU.

What a bloody cheek touching someone else's child. I am not surprised you felt like giving her a smack...

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 17:17

Tarka - my sling is plain green, not patterned like the one in the link. My friend has some gorgeous vintage-style pattern ones though! And my Didymos wrap is a lovely pattern too.

Re, changing bags, I just stuff a nappy and some wipes in my capacious handbag! If I'm out with ds (2 and a half) he usually has his little bag with a strap on which we use instead of reins so I make him carry his own nappies! If we're out for the day I'm usually in the car, so have a shopping bag I shove spare clothes, nappies etc in. And of course dd is only just 6 months so no need to carry snacks etc yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 17:21

Just found picture of me and dd in sling.

OP posts:
belgo · 07/09/2009 17:30

I never have found the knack of bfing any of my babies in a sling.

IdrisTheDragon · 07/09/2009 17:33

Lovely picture

CarmenSanDiego · 07/09/2009 18:15

Gorgeous pic!

GeorgiesMummy09 · 07/09/2009 19:06

I'd probably have kicked up a big fuss but thats me! I definately wouldnt have been so polite! And to physically push your dd's head up! What a silly cow!

TarkaLiotta · 07/09/2009 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dogonpoints · 07/09/2009 22:12

ach, older generations don't get these new fangled slings. And some a re a little cuckoo. Go easy on 'em.

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/09/2009 22:20

What sort of sling do you have Tarka?

OP posts:
CornishKK · 07/09/2009 22:26

Coincidentally a woman has just come up to me in Sainsburys, said "Let me help you" and adjusted my sling and my LO's head!! WTF?

But she was trying to help and was very gentle - and I didn't want to bludgeon her to death with a hole punch.

It's all in the attitude of the interferer.

helibee · 08/09/2009 00:46

i use a kozy carrier as our main sling so not ery easy for someone to come and adjust him but if anyone tried i'd be livid.

TAFKA your dd looks gorgeous and very safe in your arms and the sling

belgo · 08/09/2009 08:20

I have seen women carrying their babies in wrap slings and the material has been bunched up at the back, when it should be splayed out. I've been very tempted to go up and adjust it for them, because they can pull dreadfully on your back if the weight is not balanced correctly.

JackBauer · 08/09/2009 08:29

belgo, I have adjusted in that case, just said, 'oh what a lovely sling, and a pretty baby, ooh, it's a bit rucked, do you want me to fix it I know what a nightmare it is to get to the back yourself'

And then we chat and leave, all good. It's all in the manner of doing it as Cornish says, not a hysterical child grabbing manner

I did it to a woman once in sainsbo's who had a FCC with her wrap like straps instead of flat on her back and she looked really pissed off and said 'Thank you, but I know how to put on a wrap...ooh, actually, that's so much comfier, what did you do?!'

belgo · 08/09/2009 08:32

JB - I had been usually the wrap sling for a few months myself before I finally figured out a way of smoothing out the sling when I put it on.

Next time I see that, I probably will interfere

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