To ask for help with cultural capital

[Whatifthemurderisjustonecrow]

Because I genuinely need help navigating this and building my own.
after a childhood in and out of care I have, by a combination of finding good mentors, a voracious reading habit (and ignoring the many, many times this was mocked in various placements) and being in top sets through sheer hard work rather than natural intelligence I have a well respected, aspirational job that I love.
Thanks in no small part to MN I ‘mask’/fit in with the upper middle class around me in clothes, grooming and so forth. I’m not looking to imitate them if that makes sense but instead to navigate my way through what I missed as a child. I know nothing about classical music, opera or art. I am educating myself about philosophy at the moment after an interesting conversation I was part of (well, I didn’t have much to contribute tbh but you get the idea).
I feel like I have a lot of gaps that I want to plug, not because I don’t feel as good as other people more that I want to get behind the curtain and see what’s there.
if anyone has any suggestions about where to start as an adult - for example I have only found kids books describing the ballet for those who don’t know anything about it - navigating any aspect of this, 🙏
I’m happy to watch docs, read, listen. Don’t have limitless time and money but am happy to commit both realistically. The only thing I don’t need help with are our ‘classsics’ on the book world, EH, NT, skiing and horseriding (waaay to much open air).

Have a look at the dummies books, OP. There's one for Opera for dummies.

Listen to BBC Radio 3. See if you like the music.

In 2026, you don't need to have to a vast knowledge of classical music to be culturally literate.

I think it's a huge waste of your time to try and develop an interest in something you don't like.

Go to a ballet and an opera, I don't think many people actually go that often unless they are based in a big city. Look up the famous opera singers and buy some of their recordings see what/who you like. Same with classical music start with the popular classics.

Do you have a cinema near you that does live link ups with opera, ballet and theatre? These are a great way to expose yourself to a range of things at a reasonable price and they often include an interval talk or mini documentary about the piece.

I agree about listening to radio four. Loads of interesting programmes that teach you so much.
Also reading the lifestyle sections of newspapers. I used to read financial times and guardian, and then look up references I didn't understand.

Without revealing too much do you live in a big city? Big museums have interesting events some times where they go into greater depth about a masterpiece etc. Paid & Free. Free lectures at Gresham College online & in person. I grew up in a northern town lacking in Cultural Capital but I love learning new things and digging deeper into things.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about this book https://amzn.eu/d/0dXntMPc

I haven't read it but I did used to follow Sheehan Quirke on social media and enjoyed reading the newsletters. My friend really recommended it.

When it comes to art, have a look on Iplayer for documentaries. Something like Fake Or Fortune can expose you to a lot of information while being more engaging than a typical programme about an artist.

"Marquee TV" (available as an Amazon Prime channel) streams lots of wonderful stuff. Just watch some, and then google about the production afterwards. If you don't like it, that's fine!

Art History Explained is a useful channel that has shortish videos (about 20 mins) on several famous artists giving their life stories and covering famous works. It's easy watching.

Sorry forgot to mention it's a Youtube channel.

Honestly - I would just ask a friend if they fancy a trip to the ballet but I wouldn’t go out of my way to try to read up about stuff just to fit in. Focus on your own interests (which are?)

I feel really ignorant about classical music too OP. I find BBC podcasts a really good source of information to plug lots of gaps in my knowledge, from theatre to history. For instance, here's a series on how to listen to classical music https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p0336blz?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

I think it's important to do it because you're interested and you enjoy it, rather than to fit in. I appreciate it takes a certain confidence (that maybe comes with privilege) to say "oh, opera/ballet/whatever isn't my cup of tea" or "no, I've never heard of that composer/playwright/choreographer, tell me more" but I hope you do feel you can do that. Art is to be enjoyed, not used as a test of cultural capital.

Agree with this.
Just be yourself. You can be a decent person (whatever that means to you) without pre tending to be someone else.. it sounds to me like you’re desperate to fit in with an idea you have in your head

Listening to Radio 4 is good, you learn so much. Shame on the BBC for trying to dumb it down. The World Tonight is excellent, so, of course, they want to get rid of it.

Something like Michael Portillo's Great British railway journeys can teach you lots about things you'd never heard of.

You could also go on substack and subscribe to a couple of newsletters - if that's not your thing, you could listen to a couple of podcasts.

But I don't personally think that you need to take an interest in things you aren't interested in to have cultural capital. Given how much football season tickets cost, I think going to a classical music concert could potentially be cheaper (I say potentially as I was shocked by the price of tickets to see the Life of Others play, so I may be totally out of touch!)

Museums are good - and libraries are full of books on all sorts of topics - and free to use.

Don't rush and look at it as a fun project.

Start with what actually interests you.
Do you like ballet, theatre, opera, visual art, music? What would be most interesting to you?

Visual art - most London art galleries are free. Just go in and have a wander round. Look for what catches your eye. Walk into a room, scan the walls and pick the picture that most appeals to you - don't think about it tooo much. Then go to that picture, read the label and who painted it, then stand and look at it carefully. Could you paint it or draw it? Could you try? Look at the brush strokes. look at the imagery and all the details or if no details what does it say to you.

Ballet - a lot of classical ballets are based on romantic tragedies or history. Start by looking out for a well known ballet like Swan Lake, Sleeping Beauty, Giselle, The Nutcracker (often on at this time of year) (google for the stories and see if any interest you). Then go to watch one. Many of these are filmed so you may find them online but there's nothing like being there. Then slowly tick them off your list.

Opera - this is more challenging as it can be expensive to go. Search for the top classical famous operas, have a look at the stories and again see if anything grabs you. Go and see one. English National Opera, Opera North, smaller companies will be cheaper than the Royal Opera House. Opera (IMO) really doesn't translate well to film you need to be in the room.

Theatre - divides into old classic staples (Shakespeare, Marlowe) more modern classics (Oscar Wilde, Pinter) and new plays. Shakespeare introduction is usually better with a comedy like A Midsummer Nights Dream or Twelfth Night but Macbeth is short and engaging (a bit bloody, lots of murder). Read the plot before you go.

You Tube has a treasure trove of classical music. I have it playing in the background all the time. I have made some great discoveries on there as it suggests pieces that I might like. Maybe you could start with Beethoven's symphonies 1-9 or Tchaikovsky. ( I was listening to Tchaikovsky's 3rd symphony this morning which i really enjoyed)

FWIW, I’m not sure opera, classical music or art are that upper middle class and are probably more just upper class.

I went to a bog standard comp with working class parents at home. I have a job where the majority of colleagues were privately educated and I deal with some generationally wealthy people as customers. Skiing is probably the biggest differentiator between me and my colleagues as I’ve never been and they go every year.

I do listen to a lot of Radio 4 and so I’m fluent in politics and current affairs which does come up a lot and is something my parents probably couldn’t do. I travel sort of broadly and try to pick up cultural context on holidays too which I think helps (I’m not travelling to far flung countries, I’m thinking more Paris and the Louvre, Barcelona to learn about Gaudi, Pompeii, Auschwitz and not just beach resort after beach resort!).

The only time art etc has come up has been with clients who own art that is worth more than some lottery winners net worth. I’m not interested (or know nothing) about that world so I just nod along for the most part.

I once went to the ballet with some work contacts, but it was something like Romeo and Juliet or Beauty and the Beast where the story was obvious and well known to everyone - I did really enjoy that though.

You might mix with totally different people where this is more of an issue, or you might want to broaden your horizons and find out if you do like these things - but I just wanted to make the point in case you were self imposing some sort of deficit in cultural capital that doesn’t actually exist, and then trying to compensate for that!

Set yourself a challenge to do something completely new to you every month. Not just opera and ballet, but the theatre, a wine tasting night, foreign cinema, try out ballroom dancing, line dancing, an art class.

The more you expose yourself to, the more interesting you are to others, and the more likely you are to hit on something you really love.

If you have money and time, the first year of the OU's general arts degree is really interesting (albeit a lot more expensive than it was before uni fees increased). Or, the OU and maybe a local uni also, offer free lectures on all sorts of interesting subjects.

I second the suggestion to look at your local cinema listings for live broadcasts of ballet/ opera/ theatre. The Nutcracker is always on in December and is a lovely story that’s easy to follow.

BBC sounds app has the Opera on 3 programmes which are live broadcasts on the radio. They always talk about the opera beforehand and explain it, with further info/ interviews in the interval breaks. Very easy to have it on in the background to see what you like.

Our local Adult Education College does courses on Music History, Opera etc - maybe see if yours does too?

Absolutely this! I've seen loads of Shakespeare plays and ballet, they also do opera. YouTube is also a great place to start, you don't need to listen to much to get the vibe of the big names.

I think it's a huge waste of your time to try and develop an interest in something you don't like.
a fair point- I didn’t really mean it so seem like that as my plan isn’t to know everything regardless of if I enjoy it but more to swim in a sea knowing where the beaches are and picking the favourites to spend more time on.
There are some excellent suggestions on here that I will be pursuing thank you.

Oh and for ballet or opera, read the summary of the story online first so it makes sense.

Pretending to know about things that you have no experience of is far more likely to ‘unmask’ you than simply saying, ‘I’m not really interested in classical music’ (for example). I am very interested in art and literature and I’m a huge classical music fan, and these are genuine passions that have developed since childhood. However, I frequently don’t know about a particular writer or composer and there are many people interested in high culture who will quickly find you out if you feign knowledge/interest you don’t have. There is a lot of snobbery in these fields and those who deliberately like to find the gaps in your knowledge…. I am not trying to discourage you from researching these areas, but do so honestly and openly by admitting that you don’t know much about a topic but that you’re curious to learn more.
I think it is also important to note that there are many highly educated people who DON’T have any interest in these things. I feel very much like an outlier with my love of classical music despite being a university lecturer and surrounded by people who, you might think, would appreciate it. Liking the arts is not a symbol of wealth or education in the way it once was.
Edited for endless typos!

There was a MN thread a couple of years back about trying to increase cultural capital with your children. It included taking them to live theatre and ballet. So, I booked a pre-christmas ballet production with my then 12 year old and 10 year old (both boys). They were reluctant and I agreed that we could leave in the intermission if they wished. They LOVED it. They are now 16 and 14 and I bought us a subscription last year. We go around once every 7-8 weeks and we have seen2 ballets, live theatre of various comedy shows, Blood Brothers, Hadestown, Fiddler on the Roof, two Agatha Christies etc. DS1 has become extremely keen on live theatre and is planing to do his A-level EPQ on a theatre subject.