DH using his phone when driving FFS

[Yourestressedagain]

Ive said multiple times to my DH that he should not be using his phone when driving. Repeatedly I have said this. He says he’s just changing a song or whatever and I get really annoyed with him. I’ve said he could kill someone and he needs to pack it in.

Today he rang me very distressed saying he was “changing a song” on his phone on a dual carriageway and a man in the passenger seat of the car next to him was recording him and shaking his head.

I was mortified and said that it’s totally irresponsible and I’ve told him for years to stop it. I don’t even let our child get in the car with him on his own if I can help it.

he was crying and said he’ll be reported to the police. I’ve no sympathy but worried that the police with knock at our door?? What’s the likelihood of this? I’m annoyed that he’s continually broken the law, got caught and now put out family in a position where he could be arrested at our house.

he’s moping and not talking to me now. Aibu to have been so unsupportive of him?

What a prick. I hope he gets the 6 points and a large fine.

There are so many other instances of drivers who were using their phones killing other road users. It happens so often and without really hitting the headlines.

In June this year two men were jailed for hitting and killing an 81 year old cyclist in Morecambe; the first of the drivers, who was jailed for five years, "was driving for four minutes before he collided with Lawley [the victim] but, within those four minutes, he had taken and sent a selfie on Snapchat, sent Snapchat messages to three other people, looked at photos and videos on Instagram and then sent an Instagram message to a fifth person." https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgl3kzdnpdro

And in August a man was sentenced to just 2 years 8 months in jail (!) for causing death by dangerous driving after ramming into the back of a stationary car on the M62 at 67mph because he was distracted by scrolling through songs on his phone www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/man-20-drove-into-back-of-car-at-67mph-while-scrolling-through-songs-on-phone-killing-driver-8849696

I cycle and the thing that scares me most is the thought that someone may be using their phone and totally fail to see me, all because they wanted to listen to another song or send a reel to someone on Instagram. It's totally senseless and there's nothing other road users can do to keep themselves safe from drivers to choose to be so utterly selfish. Hopefully your husband has learned his lesson, OP.

Police at the door is very unlikely.

The person recording more than likely intends to report it via Op Snap (or whatever the equivalent is for your local force). He’ll get a NIP in the post where he’ll need to confirm he was driving and then he will get 6 points and a fine.

People who use their phones whilst driving are absolutely scum.
Up there with drunk drivers and drug dealers.
He sounds pathetic with his excuses “I was only changing a song…”
It doesn’t matter WHY he was doing it, he was breaking the law and putting himself and other road users in danger.
I hope he does get arrested and charged; it might knock some sense into him.
I would hate to be married to such a loser.

You can report through the police incident like this for up to 7 days after recording. They would also have had to have got clear footage of his number plate

In life I have followed the motto of my grandmother - if you wouldn't want me to know you have done it, you probably shouldn't be doing it. If he wouldn't want reporting to the police for using his phone he shouldn't be using his phone.

Got to admit these are my favourite! The ones with the absolutely idiotic excuse. Listen to the song you don't need to skip it.
Hopefully the man reports him and he will stop before it's more than a penalty offence.

CarPlay is also fantastic. I don’t use a mount but I connect it with the cable before I set off anywhere and then if I want to change a song or call someone I just have to say “hey siri, do XYZ”. Completely removes any urge to pick the phone up and is well worth the investment IMO.

I think it’s a pity you didn’t report him yourself.

Yeah, 100%. I don't know why car makers are doing this now. My partners car is the same - for example just to turn on air conditioning requires several screen swipes and taps. They really shouldn't be doing this. Stick to the old fashioned dials that you don't need to take the eyes off the road to use!

https://nextbase.co.uk/national-dash-cam-safety-portal/

I never knew - this is excellent. Hopefully the person reported it through this!

Hopefully his chickens will come home to roost and he gets a big fine and a ban.
Might concentrate his mind a little

I think a grown man crying about being recorded by some rando in public before anything has even happened is more of a concern; What kind of flake are you married to?

When buying a car recently we ruled out any that needed the touchscreen to control basic functions.

Car manufacturing is now wising up. I have a theory that this stuff was created by young men in car designer offices who think that tech is automatically a Good Thing, and the more the better.

www.euroncap.com/press-media/buttons-are-back-for-basic-functions-euro-ncap-confirms-in-testing/

Same here. I just endure the random crap tracks until I can stop the car because I care about those around me. OP's DH needs to get a grip of himself. It isn't all about him. Some people are so entitled.

Absolutely incredible that people are actually doing stuff like this when in control of their car! That's shocking. I cannot see how so many are this self absorbed. Why????

Since lockdown I now work from home so dont drive anything like as much as I used to.

But now I drive in silence its rather nice

This touch screen nonsense is why I'm hanging onto my 12 year old car with its knobs and dials and slide buttons for air con, directional air flow, radio on/off, change channels etc.

It is the equivalent of drink driving because your focus is split and the impairment from alcohol is the same as the inattention. I’m sorry but he fucked up and deserves the consequences.

The amount of people that do it aswell is shocking! I see people on their phones all the time when I’m a passenger in dhs van, being higher up you can see straight into their car.

Literally every car made in the last 10 years has Bluetooth connection for music and calls. There is no reason to need to touch your phone, unless he desperately needs to listen to another playlist or album. I think the resulting 6 points, £200 fine and insurance premium increase should focus his mind in future. And a grown man crying over this, no thanks. That's the ick right there. Fanny closed!

purplecorkheart

that’s what I mean, people don’t need to make their own playlist as they go!!!!!!!! also the radio is great!!!!!

It suggests a significant lack of judgement.

Is he a twat in other areas as well?

If you've been continuing to get in the car with him while he is driving in this dangerous manner, then you have effectively been condoning his behaviour. Telling him that you want him to stop is a bit pointless if you don't actually do anything about it.

Hopefully he'll be reported and fined (or whatever the consequence is) and he'll stop engaging in this dangerous behaviour before he kills or injures someone.

Well he knows he was wrong. He's been told and not changed his behaviour so he should now accept the result of his actions!

Prob be sent to Op snap and he will be fined and receive points