DH using his phone when driving FFS

[Yourestressedagain]

Ive said multiple times to my DH that he should not be using his phone when driving. Repeatedly I have said this. He says he’s just changing a song or whatever and I get really annoyed with him. I’ve said he could kill someone and he needs to pack it in.

Today he rang me very distressed saying he was “changing a song” on his phone on a dual carriageway and a man in the passenger seat of the car next to him was recording him and shaking his head.

I was mortified and said that it’s totally irresponsible and I’ve told him for years to stop it. I don’t even let our child get in the car with him on his own if I can help it.

he was crying and said he’ll be reported to the police. I’ve no sympathy but worried that the police with knock at our door?? What’s the likelihood of this? I’m annoyed that he’s continually broken the law, got caught and now put out family in a position where he could be arrested at our house.

he’s moping and not talking to me now. Aibu to have been so unsupportive of him?

He needs siri or the Google version so he can just ask the phone to change it.

Do you know what he should do then? Just listen to whatever is playing. Maybe he should sort a playlist for when he’s driving.

They’re probably going to submit the footage to the local police and he’ll get a letter to confirm who was driving. Fixed penalty of a fine and penalty point. Has he got any points already?

Why would the police knock at the door, it's a standard 6 points and a fine.

I think people who created the ability to join your car to a phone should have foreseen this and only allowed eg calls to be joined and from your steering wheel/ dash/ whatever way they can make it safely. You should never have had the ability to connect yiur music. It’s surreal that people flick through songs while driving. He needs to calm down over it, learn from it (ie never pick up his phone again while driving) and deal with whatever happens

Growlybear83

He should just use the radio then, madness that people put energy into this when a car in front could jam on the brakes, a person/ child/ car could run out etc etc. We don’t need every song at our fingertips while driving

6points and £200 fine

i would look at it positively. This is hopefully the scare he needed to make him change! If it stops him using his phone then it’s a good thing.

points stay on license for 3yrs

For someone in another vehicle to notice, react, open their phone and start recording your DH while overtaking, he must having been messing with his phone for longer than just tapping it to change songs.

This. Cmon OP you can do better.

In that case surely he just should wait until he's parked to "change tracks"? Listening to whatever song comes next on a playlist or album isn't going to kill him, why does he even need to change tracks whul driving? Or he could listen to the radio instead and not have to plug his phone in at all?

I think there’s a typo - what do you mean by “safe to stuff around”?

Start watching the series crash scene investigators when he’s in the room….
He doesn’t deserve sympathy and if he wants to mope around let him.
For someone to record him he must have been continuously messing about with it.

For him to have this reaction he must have known it was illegal and there would be consequences if he was caught, otherwise he would just shrug off being filmed. And he must have been on his phone for a prolonged period if the person could notice his behaviour, get out his phone, start filming and capture footage. Totally unacceptable.

I hope he does get arrested or the only thing that will make him stop is killing someone.

For someone in another vehicle to notice, react, open their phone and start recording your DH while overtaking, he must having been messing with his phone for longer than just tapping it to change songs

This. He must have been driving erratically for a while, otherwise how would this situation have arisen?

Cant believe he's distressed at being reported to police. Imagine how distressing it would be to be visited by the police because some selfish prick of a driver had killed your child or spouse while using their phone.

Has your DH got additional needs, Op? Otherwise he sounds like a 6 year who can't believe that his teacher has caught him out misbehaving.

Tell him about the lorry driver on the A34 near Oxford who was changing a song on his phone.

He killed an entire family and got ten years. Not enough IMHO.

Maybe the points and the fine will be enough to shock him into not doing it going forward. I therefore hope he is reported and dealt with accordingly. If they don't report him but did it as a warning I fear it will make no difference and he will carry on acting in this dangerous way.

Not a lot can be done about it now. He will just have to wait it out. Karma.

Changing a song took so long that another car could begin recording, come up next to him and interact?? Yeah right. He was doing more than changing a song. Not that any phone use while driving is ever ok!

No one needs to change a track. He has to stick to what he's listening to. I'm attached to my phone (literally brushing my teeth) but have never touched my phone in the car, even if it's life or death.

He won't be arrested. Hopefully he'll get a fine and max points. Better than killing someone.

If I in was in charge it would be phone crushing for first offence, plus points, then car and phone crushing and ban for the second. If it happens again I'd have their hands chopped off.

But if you can connect your phone you usually don’t need to touch the phone to change songs, I think you’re misunderstanding.

OP you need to have a really serious talk with him, he needs to stop and it’s good if this has been a wake up call.

Well let’s hope he does get in trouble. Might save some lives.

Well hopefully he'll now learn his lesson with the bonus that nobody was injured or killed in the process. It's a shame it's taken him so long in his life to learn that actions have consequences.
If he gets a fine and points on his licence he should be grateful it was only that and not the prison sentence he could have been looking at if he'd had an accident.

Did he have the phone in his hands OP? I would have suggested he get a phone holder to attach to the windscreen. I'm a bit gobsmacked that the USA allows drivers to text on the go. At least in this country it's not longer seen as the norm to text and drive.