What do i do about this? Saying I didnt have abortion

[Wonderinwanderer]

I am not married but I will use MIL to save time/brainspace.
I had an abortion and my MIL has told my partner that I am lying as women today do not get surgical abortions, she "checked the NHS website". I feel so upset and distraught. He believes me of course but he let me know because she has been haranguing him about it. The worst part is that i was just starting to move on when this was thrown at me and its brought it all back up. I find it shocking and deeply upsetting. I dont know what I should do about it.

Why does she even know this?!
and why on earth is she behaving like this
she sounds vile

Is she trying to allege that you're still pregnant? Surely time will just help her to see that she's in the wrong!
As your partner is on board, just block her 🤷‍♀️ its entirely none of her business and you have nothing to prove to her.

No i think shes trying to allege that i was never pregnant and made it up for some reason

Firstly I am so sorry for the difficult time you’ve been going through.

What is her angle? Is she not trusting you were ever pregnant? Trying to suggest you still are?

Who told her and why? She sounds awful and I'm sure you have a massive back story of her being awful

Just send her this; https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/abortion/what-happens/

That's a horrible thing for her to say. Why is she checking up on the validity of your surgical abortion? Why does she think it's any of her business, did your dp discuss it with her, and if so, why?

What's your relationship with her like? Is your relationship with dp going ok?

She sounds like a right weirdo, at best. I'd create a significant distance from her, and if dp still wants her close, think about reconsidering the relationship.

Unless she's otherwise nice, and this is just a random blip.

How does she even know? It’s absolutely nothing to do with her.

Everything was going absolutely fine with her until I apparently snubbed her in some way (was completely unaware of this, and didnt actually snub her at all - much later, me and dp looked back through my messages with her, and there was zero snubbing).
Anyway she took offence at this mystery snub and was on and on at dp about it, so he snapped and said "she was having an abortion at that time, okay? Maybe she wasnt fully herself"

Do you know why she thinks that?

I guess she thinks you have conned him, trapped him into a relationship somehow

If she says it to your face you are perfectly entitled to tell her to fuck off, or any variation of that you prefer

What does your OH think of it? I hope he has told her very bluntly that she is wrong and needs to step out of your relationship immediately

I suppose the plus side is now you know she doesn't really like or trust you!

She has shown her hand. Now it is your OH's turn...

I hope he does the right thing by you

Your partner has a big mouth.

I don’t understand why this information has been shared with her in the first instance. Square things with your partner and if it’s him that shared, sort that out. Don’t share anything else with her and if she mentions it again, it’s off topic. If your partner doesn’t have your back on this you need a rethink.

I’d be devastated if my OH let this sort of info slip
it is really no concern of anyone’s - he must know what she’s like
a woman who weaponises this sort of info will have form

He needs to grow up.

Why would your idiot partner share your personal medical information like that?
Get rid of him and she will follow

I feel like just clearly stating i wont ever be seeing her again as I really dont think this is something you can come back from? I cant really think of a worse accusation

Your boyfriend had no business passing on the woman's drivel to deliberately upset you.
All he needed to do was correct her and tell her she is not to create further dramas or make up lies.

She wouldn’t know about your abortion if it wasn’t for your partner, and you wouldn’t know what she’s been saying in response if it wasn’t for your partner. Your partner is the problem. She’s not brought any of this to you, which would be a different matter.

And you would be perfectly entitled to say that

Your OH put his foot in it. You can tell him. that too!

Do what's best for you, don't be persuaded to forgive and forget because he feels uncomfortable about it. Be kind to yourself ❤️

Your partner is a right twat telling her your medical business. Red flag.

Is he really who you should be with?
He couldn't shut his bloody mother down without telling her your private business.
Is he of low intelligence?
Because it is very strange that he told her.
A teen could keep their mouth shut about such stuff.

I agree, NEVER, EVER see her again.
Complete blocking.

But do you really think continuing with her son is wise?

This will not go away.
He has really let you down.

I am so sorry. Hope you feel better soon.

Sorry OP. This is a boyfriend issue.

I think you need to knock this relationship on its head as your "D"P doesn't know how to protect you from his mum's batshittery and it's only going to get worse.

😪 this absolutely sucks
I appreciate he should not have told her, even in anger. But i dont think that takes away from her reaction.

Sorry to throw this in there OP, but are you absolutely sure that he’s telling you the truth about all of this?

Then, even if he is, the question would be why.

Why is he relaying information back and forth? None of this really has anything to do with you!