To want a day to myself

[PeppyDenimSheep]

I work from home one day a week (different day each week), my husband can work from home 2-3 days a week. When I work from home, he always chooses one of his wfh day's as the same as day me, so I am never at home by myself. He has done this for years and sometimes I just want a day to myself. Tomorrow I have booked annual leave as I just want a day to myself without working from home and getting calls / emails. I just want a day where I'm on my own with nobody bothering me. I had no plans for my day off, I was planning on doing nothing as I never get to do that. I have Saturday plans leading up to Christmas, Sunday's I spend doing housework and in evenings after work my husband hogs the TV so I never get to watch what I want. I know it sounds sad but I was really looking foward to a day at home by myself and I have had this day off booked for ages.

Now my husband springs on me he will also be at home tomorrow!! I told him I was looking foward to a day by myself, he said most wifes would love it if their hubsands want to spend time with them. We do Friday night date night every week and spend a lot of time together, I just wanted 1 day to myself with nothing to do. Is that bad?

I would be really hurt in your husband's shoes.

Some people just need time to themselves to recharge. It's not rejecting her husband, it's a genuine need for some downtime. OP I totaly get you and you are not being selfish. TBH You husband to me sounds a bit suffocating personally. We all need time apart, maybe sell it to him as keeping things fresh?

I completely understand , I have one day off a week and love my partner not being there tbh, just found out he will be there on my next one and Im gutted lol ! I just love to watch my own trash shows and eat what I want without him ! Just tell him what youve said on here but if he doesnt understand (which mine doesnt), ring in sick on a day you know he def wont be home !

Wait until retirement and he's there alllll the time.

A day to yourself sounds brilliant, it's not a rejection of your husband.

But you need to communicate this to him. I'm having a day off to myself, just purely to recharge my batteries.

If he's insisting on being with you after that, then that comes across as controlling.

Yanb. I have loved ones including dh and dd but I needs loads of me time.

Seriously?
You never wanted some time alone?

Yes and I love spending WFH days with him.

I find it depressing how few Mumsnet women seem to like their husbands. I suppose I'm very lucky to have met someone I like more than anyone else. A reminder to appreciate him and the time we have.

YANBU. I need alone time or I'm not pleasant to be with the rest of the time. Thankfully DP gets it but lots of friends don't.

Sounds like you aren’t that keen on him considering he annoys you in the evenings too. You are a grown adult, but a second tv if you are that bothered by him hogging the tv.

Also why not just avoid telling him which day you are working from home? Why does he need to no in advance?

Wow people are so different aren’t they.
I adore my husband but sometimes I just need some quiet me time to unwind and not speak or do much.
I feel it’s like a battery reset.
I am a natural introvert though so that’s maybe why.
My husband is outgoing and everyone adores him including me but I sometimes need silence. Just pure silence.

Your DH gets the best of both worlds- one day wfh with you there and a couple of days on his own. If he had one day wfh he might feel the same as you. I certainly would!

Definitely stop telling him when you are WFH.

Yanbu, he sounds horribly needy. How much interaction do you have when both WFH? I bump into dh in the kitchen occasionally but other than that don't see him 8-5.

What you have said here's is fine, tell him you were looking forward to sole possession of the remote.

Plan your day, spend a fair portion reading or watching TV in the bedroom and tell him you're not to be disturbed, go out to the cinema maybe?

It's barking behaviour though, does he trust you? Does he suspect a liaison with the postie/Amazon guy/window cleaner?

I get it. I need alone time to recharge. I’m an introvert and my partner is an extrovert. He does understand this and understands my need to have time alone. He doesn’t take it personally. Just have the conversation.

He doesn't annoy me in the evenings, I just said he hogs the tv after work meaning he chooses what we watch. I like trash TV, I wouldn't expect my husband to sit through the Kardashians lol. Also I'm not sure where you get the impression I'm not keen on him when I mentioned we do Friday night date night every week and also spent a lot of time together? We have a big group of friends so when I mentioned I have weekend plans leading up to Christmas, 90% of the time my husband will be there for those plans

Oh dear lord. She is not saying she doesn't like her husband, she simply wants some time alone. You can love someone but not want to spend every waking minute with them, you know.

So would I, I bet they rub your heels something shocking.

Golf is a wonderful game.

This is irrelevant. Some people need time alone no matter how much they like the people they spend time with.

I also need time alone to recharge and I get how pleasurable an empty house is. What I don't understand is that surely it's possible to have me time even if someone else is in the house? I just go into my office or a bedroom and shut the door? As your husband will be WFH while you're off work, you should have plenty of time by yourself. But then there are a lot of MNers who can't seem to abide their husbands' mere presence (in his house)...

Also can't really understand why anyone wouldn't just watch what they wanted on a laptop or second TV (though he's a twat for not choosing something you both want to watch in the evenings).

I got them impression from you making a thread moaning about spending time with him, and moaning that he chooses the tv in the evening too. But like I said just stop telling him what day you are working from home. And on Friday go out for the day alone, I no it’s not the same but it’s better than nothing

How much housework does he do on Sundays? And why is he allowed to hog the tv?

I wouldn’t want to be at home with him either, he sounds very selfish.