To want a day to myself

[PeppyDenimSheep]

I work from home one day a week (different day each week), my husband can work from home 2-3 days a week. When I work from home, he always chooses one of his wfh day's as the same as day me, so I am never at home by myself. He has done this for years and sometimes I just want a day to myself. Tomorrow I have booked annual leave as I just want a day to myself without working from home and getting calls / emails. I just want a day where I'm on my own with nobody bothering me. I had no plans for my day off, I was planning on doing nothing as I never get to do that. I have Saturday plans leading up to Christmas, Sunday's I spend doing housework and in evenings after work my husband hogs the TV so I never get to watch what I want. I know it sounds sad but I was really looking foward to a day at home by myself and I have had this day off booked for ages.

Now my husband springs on me he will also be at home tomorrow!! I told him I was looking foward to a day by myself, he said most wifes would love it if their hubsands want to spend time with them. We do Friday night date night every week and spend a lot of time together, I just wanted 1 day to myself with nothing to do. Is that bad?

Yeah i need time alone. Hence why i wont live with partner. It would do my head in if someone ALWAYS in the house with me. And yeah thqt did extend to my kids

Get a second TV for another room. I've got one in the lounge and one in the bedroom so if me and my dp want to watch different programs, no problem.

That sounds awful, OP! I mean, I'm not married, and I'm glad that I live alone now, but when I lived with family who thought it important to be together ALL the time (apart from in the bathroom and in bed), it was too much and sometimes I felt like I would explode. I need a lot of time on my own to recharge. I do not need company all of the time.

While your husband's feelings might be hurt, even married couples can contain two very different people with different needs.

I feel your pain. Perhaps next time, you shouldn't tell anyone that you are off!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a bit of peace and quiet. It's not necessary to spend every possible minute with your husband even if you do like him. I like mine. We have our own tvs. Sometimes we watch stuff together but I don't watch sport and he's not keen on some of the documentaries I like to watch. It's nice to be able to watch what you want sometimes.
We're both retired and have plenty of time available to spend together - and we do. But I've never understood people who think marriage means giving up your own identity and space 24/7.

Change your annual leave day, or swap the chores day
and get two TVs

I agree with you op. But you probably have to arrange your days and not tell him!

I would feel the same . I sympathise about the TV too .

I need time on my own or I get very agitated. I wouldn't tell him next time you book a day off.

I love being on my own for even an hour or 2. Pure bliss. I like my own company. I like the solitude of doing nothing if I don’t want to. I cherish every time I get it because when my house is full, it’s busy and noisy and I’m needed every minute of the day.
I think you need to be firm with your husband that you are burning out and need solitude to recharge.

Id Just tell him straight you want a day to yourself and ask why he never allows me that. I find it suffocating to have no time alone and my partner knows and respects that. Living in each other's pockets is not for me.

Oh god I'd be gutted if this was me. I love it when DH is out for the day and I get the house to myself, or even just me and the children. I have 2 days this week of just me and the children woohooo!

You need to stop telling him about your days at home, as he's obviously so bloody needy that he does this. Knowledge is power, so starve him of the knowledge...then you find out his WFH days and plan yours accordingly.

Shame on him for guilt-tripping you and no, OP's DH, "most wives" would not be ok with this. Most wives want some peace, and you both already spend plenty of time together. Why the hell should he get the house to himself 2 days per week and you get none? What a selfish fucker.

I did this a week ago. I had one day to myself. Work had been so busy I just wanted to read or knit all day and I did. It was lovely. I saw everyone in the evening. I felt recharged and at peace.

Does he not trust you to be home alone? I'd be annoyed too as alone time to relax is just as important as time as a couple

Ffs I'd be fuming. Tell him he needs to go out and next time don't tell him.

This is weird behaviour from your partner. Get him told! Why are you putting up with this? And why do you keep telling him when you'll be home??

Is it because you will have to look after him as well as working? " What's for lunch"

DeftGoldHedgehog
That made me smile! Parts of this thread are mad. Surely we all want time to ourselves sometimes.

I don’t understand how this went so badly wrong. Did you slip up and tell him you had taken tomorrow off?

Can you cancel your holiday and swap it for a different day AND DONT BLOODY TELL HIM!!!

Tomorrow I would take myself to the nearest city and have a day of museums/shopping/cinema etc and just try to recharge. I know it’s not the same as a blissful day in the house alone but somehow this one has been messed up.

Sounds suffocating. Thank god my partner and I both recognise the need for personal time

I would feel the same OP! We are happily married for 20 years and love alone time
too. We would tell each other the truth and laugh about it though!

@CurdinHenry did you come to another thread to be mean to people?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_night_watch/5556492-odd-nasty-posts-on-30-days-only-thread

Your husband sounds very needy. I am afraid I would find that pretty unattractive.

OP, I really think a proper discussion is needed. My husband is kind and considerate but I still like a day or so every often to myself at home and so does he.

Next time you book a day of annual leave, do not tell him until the last minute (if at all)

I love my partner more than anything, I love spending time with him, he’s my favourite person in the world.
But… that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy alone time! He goes out every Thursday night and I love my nights in alone, eating food he wouldn’t enjoy and watching things on tv he wouldn’t like.

OP what does he do all day on Sunday whilst you’re doing housework?
And why do you feel like you can’t make him watch the Kardashians, but he is able to make you watch all his stuff whilst he “hogs” the TV?

Not everyone is needy and some people need time alone to recharge batteries.

Personally OP I'd be going out somewhere. Yes it's shit to have to do that but I'd do it to make a point.

Or a loooong bubble bath with the door locked.