To want a day to myself

[PeppyDenimSheep]

I work from home one day a week (different day each week), my husband can work from home 2-3 days a week. When I work from home, he always chooses one of his wfh day's as the same as day me, so I am never at home by myself. He has done this for years and sometimes I just want a day to myself. Tomorrow I have booked annual leave as I just want a day to myself without working from home and getting calls / emails. I just want a day where I'm on my own with nobody bothering me. I had no plans for my day off, I was planning on doing nothing as I never get to do that. I have Saturday plans leading up to Christmas, Sunday's I spend doing housework and in evenings after work my husband hogs the TV so I never get to watch what I want. I know it sounds sad but I was really looking foward to a day at home by myself and I have had this day off booked for ages.

Now my husband springs on me he will also be at home tomorrow!! I told him I was looking foward to a day by myself, he said most wifes would love it if their hubsands want to spend time with them. We do Friday night date night every week and spend a lot of time together, I just wanted 1 day to myself with nothing to do. Is that bad?

And don't tell him the next time you book a day off.

A need for no-one to need you is very valid.

Could you ask him when he knows he will be at the office, then pick a day to book off yourself around that? And don't tell him which day so that there is even less chance he will WFH that day.

Silence is golden 😍

Go crazy if stuck with people, any people all day and night, including my partner - so you're totally not being unreasonable. I'd try and change my day off!

Don't tell him next time you have a day off. Do exactly as you planned. Have your lay in, watch your TV progs and eat what you want. If he doesn't like it then tough. I love time to myself but lucky if I get a couple of hours once in a blue moon since husband retired. It's time on your own in the house not having to go out. I feel your need.

I am never alone. I would love a day to myself.

What rubbish. Because she wants a day to herself means she doesn't like her husband unlike you with the best relationship in the world? 😂

She already spends a lot of time with him when he WFH 2-3 days a week, date night every Friday etc using the fact she wants just one day to recharge by herself as proof that she doesn't like her husband unlike you is so judgemental and ridiculous.

WTH???

Well according to @CurdinHenry you must hate your husband for wanting any time away from him. She loves her husband and spends every possible second next to him to show her love 😂

I’m someone who enjoys a bit of alone time too, OP. Next time just organise it quietly and keep it to yourself. I do this occasionally (take a day off work when DH is in the office). With DC, working full time, no family help with DC and having to balance household chores and errands, I need time to recharge alone and do my own thing. It doesn’t mean I dislike my husband. I can’t really unwind fully if he is walking past in our small house he is likely to want to talk or comment. I’d rather tune everyone out for a few hours.

I hope you get your day off, OP.

I like my husband considerably more than most people (might even say that I love him if he's been good).

But it doesn't make a difference when the number of other people I want in my house is zero.

He counts as a person even though I married him, you see. I don't want any of the other 8 billion people who live on this planet in my house some days, my husband is just one of the crowd.

Urgh. Ask him in advance which days he is home and avoid them.

Oh I feel your pain. Definitely not unreasonable to want some time on your own at home. And much as I disapprove of generalisations men do seem different in that way and like to be close to loved ones

I work 4 days a week and honestly my day to myself makes me feel normal again. I love my job, my family etc but I dont think its normal to not want some time to yourself.

I appreciate lots of people out there work full time and ‘manage’ but you had the chance for a day to yourself and your dh clearly doesn’t understand the importance of that. My dh does know because ive told him how much its needed for my own sanity and I cant do all the fun family stuff at the weekend without time to recharge, get jobs done, potter, have a quiet coffee etc in the week.

Have a serious chat again. Dont play down the importance of being a nornal human and wanting some time to yourself. I’d say its not healthy to be around others 100% of the week.

I’ve been with my dh since just out of teenage years…I LOVE a day to myself and so does he.

I’d say its not normal or healthy to be around each other all the time and as others have put it, it’s ‘suffocating’ to be around others 100% of the time. Most people have busy jobs, busy lives, running here there and everywhere, alone time is beyond precious.

I’d do anything in the world for my children but I also love when school starts again after the Summer and the house is quiet 😁 Does that make me love them less as I think that applies to 99% of parents out there?

With kindness, he seems insecure. Your other post about the wedding photos did not paint him in a good light. He seems very selfish. He didn't like you getting attention at the wedding and now he doesn't even want you to give yourself some attention and have a day to yourself. That's not good. Especially how he turns things back on you to get his way and make you doubt yourself. That's really not good.

Hopefully you can communicate your needs to him and he listens, but unfortunately it doesn't sound like he considers you or truly cares how you feel. It's all about what suits him. Sorry. Hope things improve as you sound lovely and deserve time alone to recharge. Could you possibly have a bath or go to bed early when he's hogging the remote?

Did you tell him when you booked the day off that you wanted a day in the house by yourself?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you wanting a day to yourself. I love a day in the house by myself. But I also love a day with my DH and I don't think it's odd that he would think you would welcome him being home if you hadn't told him you wanted a day to yourself. I can see why he'd be a bit hurt witht he way this has gone down if you didn't tell him in advance.

My partner and I both WFH most days, we hardly interact. Does he interrupt you or something? I’d never think to want him gone.

Why does he hog the TV all night? Surely if you like different things, you take turns.

I get this so much. I love having the house to myself because it very rarely ever happens. We both work from home and have children. Sometimes when the kids are at school and partner has a meeting out, its so nice to just be alone, clean, watch tv or whatever.